Forget-Me-Not
by Izeiya
Summary: [OC/Self insert] Mia Arashe is an average girl who finds herself teleported to the world of Tales of Xillia. With an alias called Asaya, she finds herself going through the events with the party. However, things seem to have changed because of her existence. Will she choose to change the direction of the story or will she risk it all? Light mentions of pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey all, Izeiya here! I want to start off by saying that this is my first time after a long while since I wrote an OC/self insert fic. So, if anything from here and from now on seems a bit iffy, please please pleaaase tell me! I've had mixed feelings about making this public, so I'm in the middle of relief that I was able to share this with all of you and worry that I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did writing it. I've played the entire game of Tales of Xillia in both parts as well as the sequel. The second game is full of feels, man. I can't..-coughs-**

 **As for the name of this story "Forget-Me-Not", the name of the chapters are based on the lyrics of a Touhou song called "Myosotis Alpestris" (Link here: /d4rlWpI6f6M). I've also did some research to find the beautiful flower counterpart of the story title. Symbolically, Forget-Me-Nots means faithful love and memories. I'll let the story do the explaining. ^^**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything Tales of Xillia related, but my OC and her family. Especially the adorable twins. They're adorbs.**

 **Thanks for taking the time to read this! Please enjoy, comment, and review.**

 **-opens Word Docs-**

 **P.S I love story cameos of mine.**

* * *

 _I_

 _ **Dreams Fade Far Away Then Disappear**_

The day of August 15th arrived, marking it on my calendar as the most stressful day of my whole entire life. As a sixteen year old, I feel like I shouldn't feel too obliged to do such things. However, as the oldest sibling out of three children, it was the complete opposite. The next school year is going to start soon, and I have yet to finish my summer homework. One of the many reasons why I wasn't able to do that is because we went on a family trip. Even when I brought my homework with me, I couldn't focus on my work. My two younger brothers had my attention for they were being goofs and doing crazy things during the trip. My next reason was my parents. They had me going around babysitting and making sure I had my things finished. I just wanted to do my homework and relax. Is that too much to ask?

My name is Mia Arashe. I have dark gray eyes and soft thin layered hair to my medium back. My bangs fluttered to my left side as I wear my hair up with a black butterfly hair pin that has blue gems adorning the wings. Young Chris and Cody are both ten for they are twins. Sometimes, I get those two mixed up. Today however, they are being a pain in the butt.

"Cody! Chris!" I called out to the boys angrily, stomping into the living room where they were playing with their nerf guns. Wearing a long black striped and white dress like shirt and green shorts, this older sister is not happy.

"Where is my box that I bought at the beach?"

"Cody hid it." The timid twin immediately replied, pointing at the suspect.

The kid scoffed and shot a nerf at his brother, "I did not, liar!"

"Ow!"

I rolled my eyes in annoyance, "Seriously, guys. It's for my friends."

"Mia!"

"Oh, for the…Coming!" Every day is like this. My father needs me for something every time I am in the middle of something.

I paced to my parent's room, which is next to my brothers' room. We just came back from the trip, so we were still unpacking. It was a lovely and wonderful trip to a beach resort. It was a nice vacation, but now I have a week left until summer vacation is over. When I entered the doorway of my parent's room, their bags covered the floor as their bed had messy clothes everywhere. I could hear my mother in her walk in closet, scavenging through hangers. My eyes twitched at the embarrassing sight of this messy master bed room.

"Can you get the tools kit in the garage? And make sure the twins are sleeping. It's almost eight."

I nodded my head silently and turned around to walk away, "Yes sir~"

"Do your homework too!"

"I know, I know!" I screamed back with a distressed sigh.

At this rate, I might end up doing my homework tomorrow. I've been feeling exhausted from doing all the cleaning and unpacking, let alone searching for my lost gift. The moment I entered the living room, my forehead was suddenly attacked by a nerf. Twice.

"Ah, my face!" I shrieked with a fake painful cry as I leaned back, pretending to fall down from the impact. I could hear the boys giggling as they ran off to hide. Normally, I'd run after them, but I decided against it for now.

I stood straight then, rubbing my forehead, "Silly children.."

I chuckled softly before sighing heavily and made my way towards the garage. I know I was ordered to make sure they're sleeping, but I need their help on finding that box. After opening the garage door, I turned on the lights and observed the entire garage. To my left, there are cabinets. To my right, there are the shoe rack and the laundry machines beside it. Then in front of me were the two cars we own. I'm willing to bet the tools kit are in..the car! Eh, not. After putting on my plain white flat slippers, I turned to the left and then to the farthest right cabinet. When I opened it, the first thing I saw was the colorful box I was looking for.

My eye twitched as a dark smile formed on my face, "Cody, you brat…"

"It wasn't me!" The child suddenly yelled frantically behind me.

Another nerf bullet hit the back of my head, "Ow! Hey!"

The loudest twin started laughing as I turn around to glare at him. Chris was meekly standing at the garage doorway.

Placing my hands on my hips, I stared down at the other troublemaker, "It's almost bedtime, so you two better head to bed."

"Aw, I don't want to!" Complained Cody.

"I don't want to, too.." Chris added with a somewhat adorable face, giving me the pouting look I absolutely dread.

I pursed my lips frowning, now thinking of any weird and little dumb ways to convince the twins.

"What if I show you…A preview of my next chapter?"

Their little heads perked up anxiously as soon as they heard my words. I smiled genuinely, knowing full well that they will listen to me if it involves my comic. As of right now, one could say I couldn't get my homework done because I'm into drawing and writing stories in collaboration with a couple friends of mine. One day, I want to be a part of a group that devotes themselves creatively in animations.

"We get to see what happens to Zale and Asaya?" Chris chipped up in excitement.

Cody smiled giddily, "Are they going to die next?"

"Geez, so horrible Cody…" I deadpanned with a short giggle out of my mouth.

"I made a bet with Chris!" The twins nodded their heads in unison.

"Oh you…You're too young to gamble."

"Bleh!" Cody stuck his tongue out at me, "Okay, we'll be waiting in our room! Let's go, Chris!"

"Yay! Preview, preview!"

I giggled at the two dorks, watching them run back inside with their nerf guns. It actually is never a dull moment with those two. I didn't take long to grab my gift and the tools kit right behind it. After turning off the lights, I closed and locked the garage door. I made sure the lights were off in the kitchen and living room before going to my parent's room. I put the tools kit on the nearest desk counter, and stood there in the room watching my father tweak with a luggage. Looks like the wheel broke.

I took the kit and approached him, "Here, Dad. I'm going to make sure the twins are asleep and then I'll do my homework. Night."

"Thank you." He took the kit from me without looking at me, and continued on his business.

I'm fairly used to the cold shoulder. I really am. This would happen and I will be on my awkward way. I walked to my room across the hall to turn on the lights and head to my desk. Hidden on the computer keyboard desk is my sketchbook, so I replaced it with the gift box. I exit my room with my book to go to my next destination. Quietly opening the boy's room, I noticed their reading light is on and the two were already lying on their bed respectively. Their small eyes peered at me before their smiles widened as they immediately sat up.

I slowly shut the door behind me and grabbed a chair, "Whisper, okay?"

The two nodded as I placed the chair between their beds right in the middle where they can see clearly. I opened my book to the page where I left off, bent the book back, and twisted it to show it to Cody and Chris.

"What!? No way!" Chris whispered in shock, smiling widely.

Cody flailed, hitting his pillow, "They lived! Why?! Agh, I lost a dollar.."

"Shh!" Both Chris and I hushed him.

Usually in a page, I'd draw ten panels. I actually finished half the page during the trip, but it was evidently enough to entertain them. I smiled at their reactions, expecting it from each of them. Chris was always the positive one despite his timid nature. Cody has always been the opposite. We watched as Cody grabbed a dollar from his drawer and gave it to his twin. I started to wonder how they have money at their age..Isn't that unusual? Or is it just me? It's probably just me.

"Okay well..Get some sleep, you two. Good night." I stood up after closing my sketchbook. They each told me "good night" before I messed up their hair. Before I left their room, I turned off their only light and disappeared.

As I sat on my bed, I was looking through my gift box that has a variety of different colored and shaped gems. I didn't notice until now that I am still wearing my white slippers. I didn't care, and kept them on out of pure laziness. Beside the box is a copy of the game, Tales of Xillia. It is one of my favorite games ever. One by one, I observed every gem as I found it very intriguing. My friend collect gems, so she should be fine with this. I should be doing homework, but honestly, I don't know how to finish it. It is an art project really. The only thing I did was the first part of it, which was to write an essay. The second part is what I am really stuck on. I have to paint it out. The topic are wishes and dreams. For example, what do I wish for? What is my dream? How was I supposed to draw that out in one picture? I have many wishes and dreams, but..everything is just all mumble jumble.

I held up a purple transparent oval-shaped gem, "I really wish I can just..be me."

Just then, the gem started glowing. It shocked me, making me drop it as I closed my eyes to shut out the brightness. My body suddenly felt like it wasn't being cushioned by my soft bed anymore. A drift cooled me from under my shirt and my exposed legs. The moment I opened my eyes, I found myself falling down a partly cloudy and somewhat dry air. I then saw my sketchbook, allowing my protectiveness of my things to move my hand and quickly grab it.

"THIS ISN'T WHAT I WISHED FOR! I DON'T EVEN..! HALP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, looking around the area.

Everything felt real. This dry air feels real. Am I really falling? I'm..falling..I'm falling! I suddenly felt a rush of heat wave pass by me, causing me to turn my head around to look at my falling path. Due to the dirt flying, I had to shield my eyes the best I could do. However, I did manage to look at the surface below. It seems like I'm falling in a desert area. When I looked up at the sky, I could hear the wind rushing in my ears. A few seconds later, a male voice rang through my head.

"You who found the Eternal Wellspring Gem.."

The voice made me gasp in astonishment as I started to look around for the source fearfully, "Hello..?"

"Prepare yourself for a journey of inspiration. Do not fret, do not intervene…But, if you must, beware of the consequences."

"God, is that you?! Please send me back home!" I continued yelling at the unknown voice.

A sparkle started shining above me, making me open my eyes. It turned out to be a pair of twin daggers with blue hooked handles tied by a rope and a brown purse of some sort tied up by a rope. With my free hand, I struggled to grab the daggers and successfully did. The purse immediately landed on my stomach, forcing my fall speed to increase. Why is this thing so heavy?!

"Remember the name….Maxwell."

"…Maxwell?!" I gasped in realization before remembering that I am on the verge of falling to my death. "Crap! Um..um..! How to..uhh."

I turned my body to face the surface below, squeezing the items as close as possible to me as well as making sure the daggers doesn't stab me. I held the light twin daggers with one hand, observing it very closely. They are sharp, yet for some reason, the handles are very heavy. An idea popped in my head before I immediately put my sketchbook inside the pouch. I carefully wrapped it around my waist before taking a deep breath. Okay, this is real. I don't want to die. I need to focus on surviving. I just..Why am I here?! I unwrapped the daggers, released the rope, and held a dagger in each hand. I need a lesson anyone, please? I mean, I've always used cooking knives as if they were weapons. I don't see any difference, really. I felt myself shaking and feeling a bit panicky. So, I got flung into a different world…Okay well, WHY? One by one, I slashed the air to get used to these things until my finger pressed on a small bump. Because of that, my right dagger's blade separated from the handle, flying to the direction I was pointing it.

"Holy! Oh geez, so glad I didn't point it at me!" I exclaimed in relief, pulling the handle to bring back the blade. Or at least, I hope I did.

I then found out that I am closing in to the ground and that the blade was stuck on a tree branch, which I immediately noticed after a dust of sand passed by me. Letting out a high pitched squeal, I unintentionally allowed myself to sink down into the tree.

"Bad ideaaa! Ahh!" I screamed during the time in the tree, hearing the blade break from the branch. The blade came back as my foot tripped over a lower branch, causing me to fall on the sand afterwards.

I groaned in pain, rolling to my side to stare up at the sky. There is dirt everywhere with a few bushes here and there. A taller mountain can be seen in the distance from where I'm located. My pants grew heavy to the point I had to force myself to sit up.

"I'm dead. I'm alive, but dead..I think I'm a zombie. Agh! No, I don't think zombies have back pain." I hissed in pain, leaning back to lie down. But then I stopped myself after remembering the pouch and quickly sit back up.

I took the pouch off of my waist by the two attached straps on my stomach. Then, I opened it by the large flap and peered inside to see my sketchbook for it was the first thing. Taking it out gently, I noticed a change of clothes inside as if this bag was just made for me. I just can't believe this. Why, out of all people, did this have to happen to me? All I wanted was a sign for my project. Not to be sent to a world, an unknown yet familiar world, mind you, to my own death! I was frustrated because of this. I took out the clothes before seeing another smaller brown pouch. I looked inside to see a handful of small knives, which I am probably going to use up in a day. Why does it feel like I'm going to a convention? The individual knives is half the size of the daggers, and the hilts all are black. I decided to play around with one of them, and throw it at the tree bark. It missed.

I stared blankly at the knife on the ground, "This is going to be a problem." I peeked inside the pouch again, "A note?"

I grabbed the small piece of paper and unfolded it to read the letter. The handwriting looks so neat and well written. It read: "The Eternal Wellspring Gem must be found again if you wish to go back home. Your mission is for you to decide. Explore Rieze Maxia. Do what you must."

Hold on, hold on. Rieze Maxia? Both that and Maxwell are words derived from Tales of Xillia. If this world is really the world of Rieze Maxia, I think it's safe to say that I have to believe in this reality now. Everything did feel real. The cuts I got from the tree are still burning on my skin. I..was summoned by someone from this world..I wasn't entirely calm yet because well, who wouldn't be in this kind of situation!? I haven't played Tales of Xillia in months, so I really haven't finished it. If I remember correctly, I was at the part where they had just arrived in Fennmont. I sighed and continued reading.

"You bear all of the elements except darkness, but beware for they are all affected by your emotions. You are now known as a pseudo-spirit. I look forward to meeting you."

I turned the paper around and saw a list of elements I can apparently use. Light, wind, earth, water, lightning, and fire. What I don't understand is why the person who sent me here has the time to prepare my coming. It doesn't make sense. That Eternal Wellspring thing…That's the sole cause of this. But, what about home? Was I just teleported here by that gem I was holding? Was that the Eternal Wellspring thingymabob?! And what would my family do when they find out I suddenly vanished? Wait, don't I need a Lilium Orb?

I started flailing my arms around like a chicken who lost its head, "What the hell is going on!? I don't under…"

Just then, I felt something hit my hand as I instinctively held onto it. I lowered my hand to see what it was, and found out then that it was the knife that I had thrown earlier at the tree. I raised a brow in confusion at the knife, wondering if I'm just seeing things. No one was around me, so there's no way someone could have thrown it back to me. So to test it out, I threw the knife at the tree and it missed again. Of course. I started flailing the arms like I was doing earlier but slowly while my gray eyes watched the knife carefully. The knife moved by itself and flew back into my hand. I caught it instantly, but immediately dropped it upon freaking out.

"Holy Mama! They're telepathic knives!" I grabbed the note with my hands and proceeded to shake it back and forth, "You didn't tell me anything about this!"

With a heavy sigh, I dropped my arms and lowered my head. This is too much. It is taking a very long time for me to register everything in my head. Maybe I should get a move on before a monster decides to attack and kill me while I'm just idling here like a stupid idiot. I slowly packed everything in my brown pouch and strapped it again around my waist. As for the knife pouch, I wrapped it around my right upper leg enough for me to easily access it. I need some nourishment and to get out this desert. I also need to find my ticket home, but first, I need to learn how to fight. Ugh…

No, I don't think I can do that. I stood up before stretching my legs and arms to prepare my official first step onto this journey. After a few moments of that, I started running to the direction I was facing. I passed by a couple monsters here and there because I didn't really have the courage to really start a war. They are innocent~ I mean, come on. They aren't attacking me so why should I? …That's just an excuse. The monsters are just staring at me like I'm crazy. That was when I stumbled upon a very familiar large monster as it was charging towards me from the distance.

"Ah!" I cried out, evading out the way by jumping to the side. "That's a…That thing I forgot."

I voiced my thoughts in a low tone, opening my gray eyes then after noticing it turn around to charge back at me. Its long red horns are starting to scare my soul as if petrifying my entire being. I found myself not being able to move due to my fear. I constantly was telling myself to move quick before it's too late. I need to fight back..! I need to..Fight! It is then at the last second of it coming close, I finally moved. I threw a couple throwing knives at the spot in front of me in a fan motion. As it was aligned horizontally, a wall of ice formed from them. I literally stopped breathing at the sight of this, especially when the monster crashed through the wall like it was nothing. A scream escaped from my mouth before telepathically bring the knives back to my pouch. Seeing how it was too late to run away, the monster's front tusks cut my shoulder when it lift me up into the air. With a frightened squeal, I reached out to one of its back spike and grabbed it. I grinded my teeth, ignoring the pain on my shoulder. I did not ask for this! Nope! No, I didn't! My attempt to hold on to it succeeded much to my relief as I held on for dear life. It continued running forward trying to shake me off, so I struggled to stay on. The minute I perked my head up to look at its running path, my eyes widened in shock. This thing was charging towards a very familiar (yet annoying) gray haired character. This is the moment when I finally realize…the part of the game I was in.

"Lo..Look out!" I warned the man, but he still ended up being squished.

It roared when it came to a complete stop, causing me to catapult in the air forward. "Oh god no!"

I landed near a bush on my side, feeling my black butterfly hair pin fall as well as my hair. I started to feel more numb and tired as more severe cuts had planted on my body. I slowly opened my eyes to slits and could see a battle taking place in the distance. It felt like a dream. But, my eyes aren't deceiving me…I really am in Tales of Xillia.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again~! I am back with another chapter! I am going to start doing uploads whenever I can.** **Not only work is keeping me, but I do revise and edit my chapters before putting up the final draft. For example, this whole chapter took me a long while to really revise. It actually was a very short chapter even before I did. Probably still is a short chapter. (Aha..Silly me.)**

 **Thank you for those taking the time to read this, even if you didn't like it. That's totally fine! No really, it is! Please enjoy (or try to) and review~ And/Or you can just smile and enjoy your day. That is good too. :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything Tales of Xillia related, but my OC.**

* * *

 _II_

 _ **The Sky Remains Closed Off, Ever Black**_

During the battle, Leia had ran over to me to check on how I was doing. I'm fine, honestly. I just have a couple bruises and cuts here and there. I might have developed a back problem after being dropped twice. I couldn't stop myself from making eye contact. Her emerald eyes and bouncy brown short hair are in front of me, along with her adorable outfit. As the staff wielder heal me, the rest of the party were trying to defend her by averting the monster's attention away from us. The healing spirit arte actually feels refreshing..and nice..It's hard for me to stay awake. I closed my eyes, allowing Leia to do her job.

"Leia! How is she?" Someone cried out as the source closed in on us. I slowly opened my eyes again after recognizing the voice. Oh my gosh, it's Jude! The one time I like the worn out state I'm in is now because I actually have a reason to be quiet. I have way too many things to say right now.

"She'll be fine." Leia answered her childhood friend, looking at him with a nod and a smile.

I then widened my eyes at the sight of a local monster sneaking up behind the medical student. And this is one of the reasons why I hate being silent. I can't be useful and warn someone that they are going to be attacked! Luckily, Leia had warned Jude, which caused a huge wave of relief through my body. Someone then slashed it down, leaving the one being saved to thank the person. He has brown hair and brown eyes with a giant sword and a gun. Alvin. A smile formed in relief on our faces before the rejuvenating arte ended.

My eyes opened more, slowly feeling the pain decrease every second. I looked at myself before peering towards the nurse with a smile, "Thank you…"

The girl nodded and grabbed her staff, "No problem! Just stay put, okay?"

I wanted to say something, but I don't think my words can reach her. She already joined the fight. The field is filled with battle cries, incantations, and the sounds of monsters dying. The feeling of hopelessness crept in, but I needed to stay put so that the wound wouldn't get worse. The visible cuts on my shoulders had sliced my sleeves. I groaned loudly as I push myself off the ground to crawl silently behind the nearby bush. I'm debating with myself. Should I really stay put or should I go help? I just can't stay in the sidelines. It didn't feel right to me. My heart pounded every movement of crawling to safety. When I was finally set, I took off my main pouch to take out the set of clothes. Maybe I can find something else to distract the monsters with, so I don't have to fight? I can use the telepathic knives..But, I'm afraid I might end up hitting one of the good guys.

"Ah no!" I exclaimed when I heard my sketchbook thud on the ground, picking it up.

It had opened up to a comic page, showcasing my character Asaya being a total badass fighting bad guys. I stared at it for a long while after dusting and blowing off the page. Strength started welling up in my body. She is who I want to be. A protector and fighter no matter the situation. I wanted to be a good role model for my little brothers. When I unfolded the change of clothes, I couldn't believe my eyes. This outfit is the same as Asaya's character in my comic!

"Impossible…" I muttered in awe, grabbing the top clothing of the pile. It turned out to be a white hooded jacket with purple lining with black knots underneath the hood. Each shirt sleeves has a purple wave like pattern stitched to the ends. Yeah, definitely feels like I'm going to an anime convention. No doubt about that.

Remembering the battles taking place, I gasped loudly before shaking my head rapidly, "Gah, I'm wasting time! I gotta hurry!"

I said to myself, holding up the jacket. I then ripped out the sleeves that were already slightly torn before putting on the jacket. Seeing a pair of dark purple fingerless gloves on the pile, I grabbed those to put them on next. I felt like it would be a better grip to hold on to the daggers. Maybe using the telepathic knives is a good idea…No, no! Bad Mia! You have to learn how to fight close combat eventually! Afterwards, I added another layer attached with a purple belt on my back. It has an attached double purple flap, separating from the middle. I quickly took off my slip ons to put on the next article of clothing that turned out to be a black over the knee length stockings before putting the slippers on again. Attaching the brown pouch around my waist, I made sure to put everything else in there. Grabbing my daggers, I closed my eyes as I sulked internally before standing up. I took a deep breath to ease my breathing and heart beat that was rapid due to anxiety and fear. I know that I can't allow myself to be in the sidelines. I mean, I am used to being overworked with my family and school mixed together. Not to mention that apparently, my so called elements are affected by my emotions. And fighting…I'm ACTUALLY going to fight. For the love of everything…Help. With one last sigh and a silent prayer, I ran around the bush and charged at the closest local monster. Everyone was scattered around, and surprisingly, this battle is almost over. But should I choose to be lazy and useless? I probably should've. My small pride thinks otherwise.

"Ahhh!" I screamed out a battle cry, ready to kick a monster that looks like a brown Poliwag. It was about to blindside Rowen. Oh god, I'm actually doing this. After kicking it like a soccer ball, I lunge my left dagger forward to release a blade towards it. It then pierced the monster and as soon as it did, I pulled the blade back before watching it turn to ice unexpectedly. A second later, it burst into tiny pieces of shards.

"Oh my god, I did something!" I raised my arms in the air with a fazed look. At that moment, I was starting to think that my chances of surviving are high.

"Look out!" That is until I heard a woman scream at me from behind. I whipped my head around cautiously to see that someone had killed something behind me.

"Th…Tha…" I was about to thank whoever saved me, but my eyes widened in astonishment realizing who it was.

A woman with magenta eyes and long blonde hair had peered at me with curiosity before continuing to destroy the rest of the foes. Her look was somewhat intimidating as I felt chills down my spine. Never thought that the first thing Milla Maxwell would do is glare at me like I'm in the way. Well then again, I really shouldn't be surprised. She didn't know who I was. I was just a random passerby who just decided to barge in. Ahaha…Coincidence, I think not! Still, I can't help but have this really bad gut feeling that maybe that glare had another reason instead.

I lightly shook my head to brush it off before scanning the battlefield. The big guy is gone, so we are dealing with the small fry. I looked towards the direction I last saw Rowen, only to end up being face to face with another attacking monster.

I yelp a horrified one, leaning back at this scare. I pulled my daggers forward to guard myself with my eyes closed in case I have to embrace for any impact.

"Wind Lance! Take this!" The moment I heard that incantation, I opened my eyes immediately to witness the monster getting hit by a wind-attributed arte. I found myself fixated at the spot the monster was once at in shock. It took a moment for me to recover before perking my head up to see who had saved me this time.

"Thank you…" I muttered to the butler, who was walking towards me with his hands behind his back.

The old man smiled and laughed, "You're very welcome. May I ask you a question?"

"Uh..Su…Sure." I responded slowly with uncertainty. At this point, I eased up from earlier and lowered my arms down to my sides. My attention is individually on the man. He gave me a serious look, causing me ease my shoulders up in caution.

"Do you perhaps…don't know how to fight?"

I shifted my gaze to the side nervously, unsure how to answer this. I know it's just a simple yes and no question, but the choice of how to answer is at this moment can be a bit troublesome. I could go with the whole easygoing, 'Yeah, I really doooon't…' or just be antisocial and answer with a single word. Why am I overthinking this in the first place?

With a heavy sigh, I relaxed my shoulders and frowned, "I-I don't…"

I watch him stroke his beard then, putting on an obvious thinking look. A moment later, Rowen then stopped and proceeded to face the battlefield. He placed his hands behind his back, turning his head to the side to look at me. This is starting to become very awkward for me.

"Let's have a short lesson while we are still here."

With a finger waving meekly in the air to get his attention, I spoke in a soft voice, "A-Are you sure this is a good time to be doing this…?" Not to mention, I _really_ don't like being more in the way. I can learn how to fight along the way! No really!

Rowen simply laughed full heartedly, "Nonsense!" In defeat, I lowered my finger down and silently sighed. It can't be helped now. He then turned his attention to the last group of the monsters.

"Focus on that group over there. Concentrate your mana using your daggers as a medium, and try not to lose it."

I gave Rowen one last look of uncertainty, wanting to make sure if he is really fine with teaching me like this. He seems to be waiting for my move in anticipation, so I guess I really don't have a choice now. I was starting to think it was a bad idea to be a hero the moment I felt that strength in me. Note to self: Think before you act, Mia. I shifted myself to face the same direction Rowen was facing, holding my daggers up before me. I closed my eyes, shifting myself forward, and concentrated just like he said. I do not know how this works since I'm new to magic, mana, and fighting in general. Feeling power suddenly well up in me, it almost feels like I am getting there.

I then shot my eyes open with a serious glare, forming an X with my daggers, "I got it!"

But, the shiny attack that came out of my formation wasn't what I imagined. I predicted an X cross to come out, but I unexpectedly released a giant fireball. Due to the force, I ended up falling down on my bottom while releasing a small shriek.

"No! No, I messed up…" I frantically cried out, forcing myself to sit up.

The outcome actually was pleasant, and made me feel at ease to watch. Even though my fireball attack breezed through everyone, the attack still manage to hit and killed the last of the foes. The field was cleared out thanks to my accident.

I blinked, "No way…"

Afterwards, the group assembled near Rowen and I. The old man helped me up after congratulating me. I immediately thanked him for helping me, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him that my attack was an accident. Though, I really was glad that I didn't hit anyone and I did what I was supposed to do. Maybe I just need to focus on mastering my mana or something. I then looked around my surroundings, feeling more aware now that I'm actually here in person. I could see Ivar near by the rock lying down. The poor moron…I've always found him annoying. That was then I saw the weird and curious looks I was receiving. My timid nature came out and avoided eye contact as I fidget around. Everyone. Was. Looking. EVERYONE! Is it because I'm just a random person with clothing that must be foreign to them? I mean, that must be it. No, I'm willing to bet all of my clothes that it has to be that attack I did earlier.

"We finally stopped it." Milla's voice broke the silence as I put my daggers away inside my pouch.

"That was too close!" I winced at the sound of Teepo's adorable voice.

"What caused it? I did not expect that to be active."

Well yeah…I randomly got attacked by it on my first and hopefully the last time landing in a whole new world. Although now that I think about it, this conversation sounds very familiar. What part of the game is this from again? I slowly perked my head up to the party and noticed the confusion on their faces. It seems like the only ones who were really curious about me are Elize and Leia. The brunette was giving me a reassuring smile while the child was tilting her head towards me. Everyone put their weapons away as the handmaid finally regained consciousness. He stood up then and dramatically leaned back, shocked at what happened. Hey, I warned him.

"Ow…" Ivar moaned in pain.

"You call that timid? I thought you said the monsters would be a pussycat now it's Solum and Ragnome is here." Alvin commented while spinning his left hand.

I opened my mouth slightly, listening into the conversation. I remembered this part clearly now. The gang was planning to finally go to Fennmont, but they will find out soon that there is no way because of the four Great Spirits being missing. Just on cue, Ivar had informed them my thoughts. So, I'm in the middle of the story practically. However, the moment I would reach Fennmont, the rest are spoilers. I mean, that is if I were to follow them…and if they will allow me to come with them. Which in this case, I have no idea what is going to happen.

"Hey…How are you feeling?" I jumped at the sound of Leia's whisper for she was starting a side conversation with me.

I gazed at her in shock, hearing the other conversation that was taking place near us. Elize and Teepo had walked near us to join in. I then relaxed and awkwardly force a smile, whispering back.

"I'm good, thank you."

"Hehehe…Hahaha! You people are out of your minds!" Ivar laughed maniacally, causing me to glare at the guy.

Hey, I just arrived here and I already feel insulted! Not to mention that this person was laughing at this group who has a legitimate goal. I remember feeling irritated at him. My fist shook at my side, having the urge to walk up to him and punch him square on his face. Though if I were to do that now, they would deem me as suspicious. Unless I am suspicious…Then, I'm screwed. I mean, I'm from a completely different world, so I just need to remain calm. Or at least try to. I have to remain calm, even though I have these inner emotions wavering in my soul. I have no choice but to contain them. I'm fairly used to bottling my emotions after all. I remember there was one time where I would argue with my parents about my dream of being in a collaboration group, only to be shut down immediately by their ideals. Ever since then, I decided to be quiet, stand my ground, and do what I have to do.

Silently, I heard Milla confront her handmaid about ways of going to Fennmont like she did in the game. My eyes softened at this, wishing now I was like Milla. She has so much confidence.

"Xian Du, huh?" I muttered after hearing the name of the next town from Ivar.

My gray eyes glanced at Rowen and Alvin, who were conversing to each other about it being their first step. They then looked at Ivar, making my eyes soften at how frustrated he looked. Even there are times like this where I feel so bad for him. He really wants to help Milla, and I understand that it's because it is his duty as her handmaid. However, we all know that Milla is strong. Everyone here except Ivar and I have a similar goal. I guess one can say right now my mission is to find my way home and why I am here. Journey of inspiration? I still don't understand that. What that letter and that voice said still confuses me. I heard Milla thank him, but Ivar refuses to talk.

"Uh…Shall we go?" Leia asked with uncertainty.

In the game, everyone would turn around and leave Ivar behind. But instead, their focus turned to me as if I was the next thing to take care of. Upon noticing their glances through my pre-occupied state, I flinched with a light blush. My full attention is now on the group, who seems like they were waiting for me to say or do something.

"Uh…? Ah…H-Hi…?" I awkwardly wave, feeling myself want to shrink and hide in a corner. Great, what can I say? What can I do? I can't run away because that would be incredibly dumb of me. I don't even know my way around this world. I don't even know how to defend myself! Just then, I felt a hand resting on my back as a presence was behind me.

"Young lady, are you lost?" Rowen asked me, giving me a curious glance.

I looked up at him like a lost puppy before lowering my head down. Another simple yes or no question. Of course I'm lost!

With a small pout, I softly spoke to them enough for them to hear, "I am…kinda…Is it alright if I come with you guys to Xian Du?"

I perked my head up to see Milla bluntly putting her hand on her hip, "Do you have any business there?"

"I don't…But…I am looking for something, so I want to look there first." The whole time, I was fidgeting around with my hands nervously. It wasn't because I was talking to Milla, but it was because of how intimidating she can be. This really isn't like me. I watched curiously as she exchanged eye contact with Jude, who nodded his head for some reason.

"I'm fine with it. What's your name?" The medical student asked with a smile.

"Asaya…Asaya Arashe." I shyly answered, looking up at him with a small smile. My character's name from my comic and my last name…Very original, Mia.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello~ Guess who's back?! I didn't realize that it would take me this long to upload. It is because I got sick over the weekend and I had to rest. Oh! Not to mention that I refuse to miss work. Stubborn little me. Another reason is because this is a really long chapter. 4426 words. Longest chapter up to date! We'll see...I have five more chapters to revise and edit before I continue writing. Muahaha..**

 **Without further ado, here is the third chapter. Thank you for your time to read this! Enjoy! -bows-**

 **Disclaimer: IdonotownanythingTalesofXilliarelated,butmyownOCandherfamily.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _III_

 _ **Today will Soon Come to A Close**_

I would have never imagined the group would be fine with me coming, or it seems like it. If I remember correctly though, Ivar would get another bird messenger after the group leaves. That will also lead him to release another tantrum indirectly to Jude again, which made me feel a tad bit guilty. Because of that, I would occasionally look back once in a while. It's easy for me to do so without anyone noticing because I was walking in the back of the group. So far, he didn't budge at all. I gave up right away. I don't want to spend my time worrying for someone so annoying. Asaya Arashe. It was the first thing that came out of my mouth. It is plain and simple, but now I was having second thoughts. What if the person who sent me here is going to be looking for a Mia Arashe? My alias last name would easily give me away. I mean, I write stories and could probably think of the most messed up ordeals. I may be dead for all I know! I may be having a really bad dream, or may be in a coma! GASP!

On the way to Xian Du, I was being bombarded with more questions. Glad to know that they think I'm friendly enough to approach, but now I'm starting to dislike it for now. I'm still confused as to what is going on. A question they asked was where I was going. To be honest, I couldn't think of one lie right on the spot. I can't just tell them that I fell from the sky and have no idea where to go. That would be just unbelievable…Right? So, the story I gave them was that I was roaming around looking for something. I even admitted that I have no clue where to begin, thus mentioning that Xian Du would be my first step. Maybe that was more of a truth than a lie…Then, the question of what I was looking for was brought up again. I think they just wanted to make sure. Now that the adrenaline of the fight and my timid nature is completely gone, I'm back to my regular self. Hearing the question again startled me greatly as it hit a really soft spot. My first thought was home. I'm starting to feel homesick. I must have looked sad because I had suddenly changed my mood. I slowly lowered my head, forcing a smile like I would always do. My answer was a simple: "I am looking for something…But, I don't know what…" I had to lie. It wasn't because I don't trust them, but it was just the fact that I'm from a different entire universe. I added that I just suddenly woke up in that area and was in trouble. I laughed and joked again that I don't even know how to fight.

"It's true. I had to teach her." Rowen commented with a laugh and a smile.

"Ehehe…" I slumped my body down in disappointment after hearing his words. Sometimes, I wonder if it really is okay with me hanging around them.

Alvin put his hands behind his head, "Well, whatever the case, you can wield your weapons well. Just lay low on the magic. It may kill someone here."

"Dah! S-Sorry!" I frantically responded, waving my hands in front of me defensively.

Alvin chuckled as Jude sighed heavily, "He's kidding. Anyways, you're welcome to come along with us. I'm Jude Mathis."

I perked my attention to the boy in front of me, who was smiling at me with a hand out for me to shake. It must be awkward doing a handshake in the middle of walking. So, I reached for his hand with a sheepish smile.

"Nice to meet you. Thank you for allowing me to travel with you." I paused myself after hearing my words before immediately pulling my hand back, "I-I-I mean…If it really is okay with you all…! I'm sorry I didn't mean to assume that…I…U-Uh…Um…"

I gradually found myself ending my sentence in a fluster, pursing my lips together and cover my mouth with my hands. It was bad enough Jude was looking at me all weird probably because of my clumsy freak out. My face is burning red like crazy. I'm starting to think they're seeing me as a spaz right now. I can see it now…Oh god, my reputation! My fear of wandering around the world I am not entirely aware of overcame my being. I also didn't want to be suspicious! That is the very last thing I want!

"Hey hey, easy. I'm okay with you coming along." I looked to the brunette meekly, who put her hand on my shoulder. Leia was giving me a smile of reassurance. It was enough to calm me down. "I'm Leia. Nice to meet you, Asaya!"

"I-I'm Elize…And this is Teepo." I heard the shy girl introduce herself, causing me to look at her direction. But then, I saw a certain purple flying doll floating straight towards my face. It made me lean back in astonishment.

"Wah-hey! The more the merrier!"

I can't believe I am seeing this thing in person.

"Cool…" I found myself muttering out loud in awe, staring at the floating doll with huge eyes. It really is fascinating to see in person. It almost makes me want to poke him…I lifted my hand to do just that, but I stopped myself midway after hearing someone else talk.

"The name's Alvin. Good to have you on board. Try not to kill me."

I huffed at his mocking tone, lowering my hand that I was going to use to poke Teepo, "I might have to if you keep that up…"

Alvin chuckled at my response. At this rate, I am going to use that guy as a shield. That and I feel like we are going to have a wonderful relationship of exchanging banter back and forth. Constantly.

"My name is Rowen. Pleased to be your acquaintance." The oldest of the group introduced himself afterwards. I bowed my head towards the old man in acknowledgement.

I smiled at him, "Thank you for the lesson, Rowen."

"It was my pleasure. But, do keep practicing and you will get better."

I nodded my head, listening to his wise words. I have to admit, if it weren't for Rowen being there, I would have done something very reckless. It is in my nature do so when I'm fired up. It must be my high blood pressure welling up, though. After feeling like someone was staring at me, I noticed a certain spirit glancing back at me from my peripheral view. It somewhat made a chill go down my spine, but I ignored it. Staring up at her with curiosity, I noticed the weird look she was giving me. It made me tilt my head in confusion. Did I do something wrong again? Or did I say something? I hope I didn't do anything. However, I can see the pondering in her magenta eyes. It seems like she has been staring at me for a while. Milla then shook her head and tilted her head.

"My apologies. Something about you feels very familiar, but I don't understand what it could be."

I winced at the sudden thought of why she must have felt that way, "O-Oh…I see…What's your name?"

"Milla Maxwell." She turned her head forward before folding her arms, "Have we met before?"

If by being on the other side of a television screen counts, then sort of. That would be the only way for her to know me. Although, I highly doubt that is the case as well as her meeting me. This is the very first time we actually met in person. I decided to play dumb by putting on a very confused look and scratch my head lightly.

"I…don't think so. I mean, I don't remember meeting you or anything." Gosh, I hope that didn't sound rude.

She unfolded her arms and looked back at me, "Well, you can come with us as long as I am able to do my mission."

I felt relieved. No joke, the fact that I am able to contain myself from talking to these characters is unbelievable. Let alone, being able to lie to them too. I still feel bad for that. A huge weight on my shoulders was lifted as if I felt like I had just gone through the first step.

We soon arrived to the town of Xian Du. I was in a trance of awe by the town itself. The air felt so much nicer than the dusty desert area we were in. I didn't expect it to be this great in person. I guess I really must be missing out because I was the one playing and controlling them. However, I still am not use to this broad daylight. Before I was teleported here, it was night time back at home. No wonder I feel a bit tired and nauseous from walking so much. Just standing here though and peering at the town suddenly gave me unwanted flashbacks. Alvin and his mother. The tournament. Elize's past. Oh my goodness, I have to go through that in person if I'm sticking around. I am not ready! Because of this scary realization, I didn't notice that I was falling behind of the group. I have to get a grip for now, but it is hard to. I ran after the group to end up standing beside Alvin when the group stopped. Rowen and Milla started talking about the town like they did in the game. I suddenly remembered the words that was given to me concerning this world. _'Do not fret, do not intervene…But, if you must, beware of the consequences.'_

I started following the group as Leia did her part by talking about the statue. Followed after that is Alvin talking about it before mentioning that this town was known for falling rocks. That itself gave me a small heart attack, causing me to remember an event that is soon going to happen. Leia will end up getting hurt. Silently, I walked past Leia to stop near her the moment I witness Alvin trotting away from the group. Even when it was just a mere moment, I saw it. The sad look on his face that made me stare at him with widened eyes.

"What's wrong, Asaya?" I heard Leia ask, making me flinch back to reality.

I twirled my head to her direction with an astonished look, "Oh, nothing! This place really is beautiful ahaha…"

I answered with an awkward laugh before turning my head away to immediately frown. The urge to tell her to be careful is strong, but I have to refrain myself. It just didn't feel right to me, especially when she healed me earlier. What are the consequences? No, what could be the consequences? We started moving forward as Leia stepped to the side away from the group to look at the riverbank. If I remember correctly, that is the trigger to the falling rock incident. I know the situation isn't dire, but this is Leia. She helped me and how can I return the favor? I know the falling rock will happen, and…My gray eyes caught the attention of children playing a couple feet in front of us. They reminded me of Cody and Chris. I bit my lower lip, coming to a decision. If I could save someone, I would. I have the power now, and I most certainly don't want to live with any regrets.

"It's going to fall!" I heard Milla warn us as I perked my head up with a confident look.

Being the closest to her, I swiftly grabbed Leia's hand to pull her out of the way of the rock path. Jude has saved the child and Milla has saved Elize like in the game. Now, I'm left replacing Leia's spot. As quickly as possible, I stepped back to where I pulled Leia to. Because of the rocks just landing, the tremor forced me to slip over one of the blue flaps of mine as I shrieked. I ended up skidding for a short period of time beside a worried Leia and Rowen.

"Asaya!" The girl cried out, crouching down by my side.

I groaned in pain and murmured with my eyes closed, "Yeah…Definitely going to develop a back problem…" Opening my eyes, I peered at the brunette, "Are you okay, Leia?"

She nodded her head, making me smile with relief. I can relax now. We are even and I did what I wanted to do. Can I sleep now? I heard someone running towards us as I noticed that it was Jude. He started to heal me as I murmured a thank you to him. A person then came running to the scene.

"I'm a doctor. Let me help." Ah, I recognized that voice as Isla. Oh yeah…Her too. She is a part of the main events that is going to happen.

I allowed the two to do their job, feeling my eyes close on their own. When it was over, I opened my eyes before the short haired young woman helped me up. I really got to hand it to them. The healing artes really are refreshing. I wish I can do it back home. You have no idea how troublesome the twins are when they get hurt.

"Thank you…Doctor…" It was so hard to not say her name out loud before she even introduce herself. Not to mention I didn't want to stare at her. I ended up avoiding eye contact sheepishly to not be an awkward duck.

"The name's Isla. You're going to be fine."

I smiled at her, now giving her my immediate attention. As much as I wanted to give her my name, I stopped myself from doing so. I have mixed feelings about her, just like Alvin. Leia took a step towards me, "Take it easy."

"You should sit down for a while." Jude advised me, but I refuse to. If I rest now, I will end up passing out. That is something I don't want to do. At least, not now.

"Thanks for the concern, but I'll be fine really." I replied with my hands together behind my back, stifling a yawn. This made me cover my mouth in hopes that no one saw that.

I don't think I'll make it by the end of this world's day. The biological time inside me says it is around 10pm. That is the time when I usually sleep. Although I was planning on doing an all nighter even though I had no idea what to do for the project. I'm pretty sure after this is when we'll go to the wyverns, speak to the clan, then fight to demonstrate how horribly inexperienced in fighting I am.

"Some super-pal Alvin turned out to be! He's never around when you need 'im!" I almost laughed after seeing Isla back away from the talking puppet. "If he were here, he would've been able to protect Leia and Asaya!"

I shot daggers with my tired gray eyes at Teepo before placing my hands on my hips, "Hey! I'm trying my best here!"

"But you got hurt still~." The floating toy teased me further to the point I stomped a step towards him. Elize immediately grabbed Teepo from being harmed by me as Leia and Rowen laughed at the scene. Oh, he is so lucky that he is such an adorable thing and the fact that something terrible will happen to him had stopped me as well. After growling angrily for a moment, I sighed heavily to calm down and put on a pout. Jude smiled at me before thanking Isla for the help, which she replied by saying that she was doing her job. Normally, I would thank her again but I hesitated. I forced a smile of gratitude. Again, I acted as such because I know her character and her connection to Alvin and Elize.

Isla looked at us, "You folks don't look like you're from here. What brings you to town?"

Dramatic reasons, I ended up thinking. Milla had answered that we were looking for wyverns. Of course, Isla told us the locations of the bird creatures. Jude was ecstatic to hear that when he thanked her. My eyes couldn't stop glancing at the young girl and her doll to Isla. I am feeling worried for her.

I bowed my head to Isla without a word after hearing that she has to go. When she walked away waving at us, I straightened my body before narrowing my eyes at her. I honestly don't think I am ready for the upcoming emotional drama.

"Is something the matter? You've been quiet for a while." I perked my head up upon hearing Milla, making me look at her to see who she was talking to. Apparently, she was talking to me with those curious magenta eyes. I really had thought they would just go on to find the wyverns, but nope.

"I just…have a bad feeling, that's all." I answered in a monotone voice, frowning.

"Hm, I see. Very well." Was all the spirit said before walking away.

I raised a brow in confusion, wondering if I shouldn't have said that. She looked like she wanted to say something else, but I guess my words had stopped her. The others followed her except Rowen, who seemed to be waiting for me. I find it odd because ever since I joined the party, he always was near me. Not to mention that he had covered for me earlier. Really guys, am I doing something wrong?

I glanced at him with a quizzical look, "You didn't have to wait for me, y'know…"

The both of us then followed after the group. We are crossing the bridge now as I waited patiently for his response. He seemed to be in thought too with his hands together behind his back.

"I am curious about your weapons. How did you retrieve them?"

"I…uhh…" Crap, I didn't think about that. I scratched my head before taking out one of my daggers to observe it. "I really don't know, actually…"

Translation: I really don't know what lie I could possibly make up for these weapons. With a sigh, I put the dagger back inside my pouch.

"That's still pretty cool!" Leia happily commented, jumping in to the conversation. I saw that she had turned her head to us for she was obviously listening in.

"Where are you from?"

I winced in astonishment. At this point, we already crossed the bridge. If it weren't for the conversation, I would have been like the others who were being fascinated by the festival decorations. The culture and people are really cool to see in person. Putting a finger around my lower lip, I tilted my head to the side. This is my usual action to do when I think, much like Jude who has the tendency to poke his temple when he thinks.

"Honestly, I don't remember." I came from the sky. Let's go with that. "My memories are a bit hazy…"

Again, I can't say a single thing that involves my world. I don't think they know the infamous Sin City. The nickname itself would probably scare them away, or even make them wonder.

"Maybe you're looking for your memories." Elize softly spoke in a sad tone. I stared down at the girl in concern as she clutched on to Teepo. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. I know it will be soon when she'll remember her past. It is actually one of the emotional scenes in the game. As for me, I know the group will eventually find out that I'm lying to them to save myself.

I stopped myself from apologizing to the young mage, feeling guilty. In the end, I forced myself to smile softly. "Who knows? Crazy as it sounds, this thing I'm looking for is much more important than my memories. I really don't know why I feel that way…"

I also don't know why I am feeling sad. I know it has to be because I'm feeling homesick. Just looking at sad little Elize, who is a few years older than my twin brothers, probably triggered it. I managed to catch a strange look from the girl before she turned around. For some reason, I can sense the uncomfortable feeling I was getting from her. I am starting to worry if she is having second thoughts about something. I sure hope not. I already ruined one thing that was supposed to happen with Leia, but for a better cause. We walked up the stairs that I remember leading to the wyvern cages. On cue, the cages appeared on our right side.

I put on an astonished look, fascinated by the wyverns. They look especially scary in person, but that didn't stop me from approaching the cage. The wyvern perked up to look at me with its piercing eyes, causing me to wince in light fear. Teepo appeared beside me floating and started to coo at the bird. Afterwards, it shrieked angrily at the doll. Even though I expected it myself, I still ended up jumping from the roar. When I looked back to laugh nervously at the poor thing, I stopped myself after realizing everything had frozen in place. My gray eyes opened in horror, mixed with confusion. I raised my hand, then my other hand as I stared at them both. I can still move apparently. The others aren't. Am I too tired to the point I'm hallucinating? I pinched the back of my hand, only to wince at the sharp pain. No, I'm still alive and awake.

"What in the world…?" I muttered under my breath before flinching upon the sound of footsteps.

I immediately turned my body to face the direction the sound was coming from. It is very suspenseful to know who or what is coming up here. I could hear myself gulp in anticipation. Walking up the stairs is a very familiar dark-haired and gray-eyed child. The moment I saw him perk his head up timidly, I recognized that adorable boy anywhere. A wave of happiness overwhelmed me as I smiled brightly.

"Chris!" I cried out the young child's name, running towards him with my arms spread out.

An unknown force wave then pushed me back away from the child as I yell out a scream. Taking me by surprise, I ended up shielding myself before falling down on a knee. The young child then stood there silently, looking at me with his blank eyes. I froze upon noticing that there isn't any sign of life in him. I didn't understand what is going on. I am feeling scared, especially knowing that this isn't the Chris I know and love. My heart gradually beat faster and faster as I watched the child take out a knife out of his blue jacket. Terrified, I slowly stood back up.

The moment he pointed the knife towards me, my eyes widen as I started speaking in a shaky tone, "Ch..Chris? What are you…? How are you…?"

"You left us. You don't care about us. All you care about is your stupid dream. Why did you leave us?"

I fell speechless at his words, finding myself not able to form my response correctly. "I…What?"

Chris then started running towards me and lunged his knife. With a startled gasp, I retaliated quickly by taking out my dagger to block it. I didn't want to fight Chris, so with every movement, it is with hesitation. I can't bring myself to fight him. The only thing I can do is try to stop him from stabbing me. His eyes remained emotionless as if he is some puppet, wanting to kill me.

"Why did you do this, Mia? We love you! Why did you take us for granted?!"

"I don't know what you're…AH!" The boy managed to trip me by kicking my foot before pushing me away from the frozen group. I ended up landing on the floor then before turning my whole body around, only to scream when a knife aim towards me. I moved my head to the side, hearing it pierce the ground. The boy had pinned me down and I was left staring at him in shock. Even though I am shivering in fear, I can see tears falling down from his emotionless eyes.

"You died…And put your family in huge pain."

"Died…?" I mouthed in a very high pitched disbelief tone, feeling sudden sadness creep in my heart.

Chris then started glowing brightly, along with the knife, startling me. Many thoughts wandered in my mind, feeling the tears run through his small cheeks splat on my face. I can feel the sadness, the confusion, the hurt, and fear well up in my heart.

The last thing I heard before my younger brother faded away are the words: "Stop shutting us out…"

I have never thought that I would hear those words from Chris. They triggered memories of what could this Chris be talking about. My door has always been shut when I wanted space for myself or when I'm busy. When I am writing or drawing, my door is always shut as I wear my headphones on while blasting music to block the outside annoying sounds and voices. My parents still barge in my room when they need me, and they get terribly angry. The twins would barge in my room, uninvited. I get annoyed because some things I really want to do always get interrupted. But, I died? Did that happened to me when I was teleported here? Chris's words hurt me greatly. The anger in his voice was truly unexpected from a normally quiet boy like him. I don't mean to shut them out…I just wanted some time to myself for once.

The moment I stood up, the noises returned and everything that ceased came back to life. Due to the over excessive emotional and physical pain, I found myself fainting in front of the group. I heard my name being called out as Milla ended up being the one to catch me. I could tell it was her by the sound of her voice before I lost consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hellooooo~! Welcome back to yet another chapter! So in the last chapter, I thought the word count was a record for me but after typing this up and revising...I think I have a new record. 5,671 words. Yaaaay! First off, I want to apologize if it seems a bit choppy with the revision. I did my best to put this up before I leave to a family emergency trip today for the weekend. I will be back on Monday and hopefully will have the next chapter up by then or Tuesday. I had to edit carefully in this chapter, especially the very beginning. Let me just say, the things that I originally wrote in the beginning and before the matches wouldn't make sense at all. I had to fix that. Also..References. Gotta love references to other games. Aha~ You'll know what I mean. Thank you for those reading up to this point. I hope you are enjoying this wonderful fic of goodness.**

 **With that said, please enjoy chapter 4 and have a very wonderful week! Until next time!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything Tales of Xillia related or anything I referenced. I only own my derpy OC and her family.**

 **Smile! :)**

* * *

 _IV_

 _ **So, Tomorrow Quietly Escapes**_

What do I want to be? I want to be part of a collaboration who have the same goals as mine. One could say that is a goal. A dream. The thing about that though, as my parents would put it, it is a waste of my time. I don't understand why they think so. Quite frankly, it annoys me. I don't think it is a waste. I believe it is something to reach towards to. I believe it is that one step towards to something everyone is looking for. Happiness. My parents had always want me to be something I am either not interested in being or something I am not. Who in the right mind would pressure their child like that? Is it because I'm their daughter that they think they could tell me what they want me to pursue? I hate that.

However, those words from that fake Chris constantly replay in my mind over and over again.

Did I do something wrong? I then realized from this everlasting dream of darkness that I did. I did one thing to affect the storyline, even when it is just a little portion of the story. Leia was supposed to get hurt by that rock. I don't understand how this happened. It just seems like when I do something right, it ends up being in the wrong. Is this the consequence you were talking about…Maxwell? On the verge of awakening, I hear voices that were distant to the point I can't really comprehend what they are saying. My body feels like it is being supported by a very comfortable cushion. The moment I open my eyes, a bright light greeted me as well as a ceiling that I don't recognize as the ceiling from my room. Figures…I am still in this world. My weary eyes drifted to the direction I heard the voices earlier. It then took me a while to notice that we were in a room that looked similar to the inn in the game. In the distance, I could see the darkness outside the window. I assume it has to be night time then. The group near me continue to chatter among each other, and the only thing I noticed was the lack of Jude here.

The first person to notice I was awake is no one other than Alvin, who is sitting on the bed's edge nearest to me. He lifted his brows in realization before putting on a wide smile across his face.

"Oh, look who's awake! You gave us quite a scare, kid."

I exchanged eye contact with the male for a moment, watching as the others look back at us upon hearing his words. The looks on their faces emit sudden relief except for Milla and Alvin.

I shifted my head away from the group after noticing my brown pouch on the counter nearby, "…Sorry about that."

Hearing footsteps move towards me, I blinked my eyes slowly. The events concerning Chris and I refuses to stray away from my mind.

"How are you feeling now?" Rowen asked with concern.

I pursed my lips, pondering how to answer. I really want to tell them the issue I'm going through, but I just can't. It isn't for my own sake anymore, it's for their own sakes as well. I am aware of the upcoming depressing events soon involving Elize and Alvin. I can't bring myself to add my dilemma along with that. I won't be surprised if it already passed. I feel like I have slept for an incredibly long time!

I smiled softly at the elder, "Could've been better. What happened while I was out? Where's Jude?"

My questions were directly towards everyone as I looked at them with curiosity. It isn't a minute later until the door opened with the smell of food brewing inside the room. I could feel my stomach growling menacingly at me with such hatred. Everyone's eyes fell on the person coming in with the food, revealing himself as Jude.

"Oooh yum!" Teepo happily spoke as he drifted over to the food, along with the others.

While everyone is welcoming Jude back and talking at once, I didn't have the motivation to join them. I still can't stop thinking about Chris. Fighting the young child took a toll from me, emotionally and mentally. Sometimes, I ponder if what happened actually did happen. But, it always come down to his tears splatting on my face to remind me that it _did_. I wondered how he's doing or what he could be doing now. I wondered what my family is up to. The homesick is hurting me so deeply. I felt my eyelids closing until the sight of a bowl appeared right in front of me. The smell and the sight of it immediately opened my eyes in shock before glancing to the one holding it for me. I blinked dumbfounded at the smiling Jude.

"Here's some Takoyaki Ramen for you, Asaya. I figured you were hungry. Here, let me help you up." As much as I feel that he didn't need to help me up, I didn't have the strength to speak up.

Maybe I am hungry. It is much needed after all that's happened. Allowing the medical student to gently help me up, my gray eyes fixated on the food with a rather questioning look.

"Takoyaki…Ramen…?" I mumbled, repeating the food's name out loud to make sure I had heard right. Of course, I had completely forgot about the dishes in this game. I haven't tasted the majority of the food from this world, so I was still feeling iffy.

Jude placed the bowl in my hands slowly because of how warm it is. It isn't warm…It is hot! Scorching hot! To the point I just want to flip it over! I refrained myself from doing so, allowing the hotness overwhelm me. This really woke me up. I peered inside the ramen bowl, picking up a chopstick to poke a takoyaki ball. It felt rather soft.

"Have you tried this before?" Jude questioned with light astonishment.

Shaking my head silently, I picked up the other chopstick and proceeded to lift up a takoyaki ball. _Bloop._ I glared at the takoyaki ball that fell from the chopsticks before trying again. Successfully picking it up, I slowly moved it towards to my mouth then... _Bloop._

…

I don't think I've had this bad luck of picking up food with chopsticks EVER in my whole entire Asian LIFE.

Jude put on a somewhat guilty smile on his face before asking, "Uh…Do you need help?"

"Does little miss Asaya need a lesson on how to use chopsticks, too?" Laughed Alvin, causing me to glare at the man with annoyance.

"One more joke out of you, sir, and there will be a blade stuck in your eye!" I chided in response, pointing my chopsticks at him before retrying to pick up the takoyaki ball.

Seeing how I managed to pick it up securely, I aggressively put the food in my mouth and started chewing. My chewing then slowed down, tasting that wonderful goodness on my taste buds. I never realized how good this food ball thing is. Before I knew it, I began chowing down on my food like no tomorrow. Of course, I pace myself and try not to be a total slob. The takoyaki ramen really is delicious! While I eat my food, the others took the passing time to let me in on what happened while I was out. I was told that, they encountered the owners of the wyverns. Just like what I expected, it was Yurgen and the Kitarl Clan. They were told they needed warriors to represent their clan for the tournament soon. If they win the tournament, they will be able to use the wyverns. The questions of whether I will join came up, and I had to think long and hard. First off, sticking to the desire of not wanting to be suspicious. They don't know that I do know what is going on. In reality, my reason of joining this is because the group kindly asked and possibly to practice fighting. Maybe I can make a point…That I am on their side.

After finishing the last of the ramen, I cleared my throat and sighed lightly, "I'll join."

"Are you sure?" Leia questioned with widened eyes.

I nodded my head, "I need practice, remember? I just have a question…" Pausing, I looked to the people who are anticipating my question, "Why do you all need to go to Fennmont?"

I tried my best to look innocent as I tilt my head to the side with confusion, "I heard Fennmont is unavailable to travel to right now."

Witnessing the eye contact Milla and Jude were exchanging and the worried glances everyone is giving each other, I pursed my lips on my straight face. That should be enough for now. I really have to hand it to myself. This is difficult for someone in my situation, really. These characters are people from the other side of the television screen. The fact I have to lie to them…truly hurts.

"It's a very long story." Jude simply answered with hesitation in his voice.

If I were them, I can understand. Both Jude and Milla have been forced out of the starting city due to obvious reasons. At this point, trusting a complete stranger who has no ties with anyone here like myself is difficult. For example, Leia is the childhood friend of Jude. Elize and Teepo are beings that Jude met during his travels, eventually helping her in Hamil. Rowen has his own personal reasons. Alvin was following Jude and Milla from the very beginning, but one of the reasons is because he is an Exodus member. Ah right…Exodus. My eyes softened at the hesitating medical student, wondering how I can get them to trust me. Honestly, gaining someone's trust without being suspicious is very hard to do. I have to make up another story…Or in this case, an excuse. I lowered my head down sadly at the next course of action I came upon.

"I understand that I'm just a random stranger that shouldn't be involved, but I really do feel the need to help you guys with whatever you're doing. Please know I am not a bad guy…I just…"

I bit my lip nervously and perked my head up to stare at the others with a serious look, "I just want to find my way home."

"Home? But, I thought you…"

"My memories are hazy, but that doesn't mean all of my memories are gone." I answered Leia with a soft smile.

"You're trying to find your way home, then?"

I nodded my head towards Jude as a silent answer, "That's one of the reasons why I ask to come along."

I shifted my attention towards Milla, who had her arms folded and her head tilted to the side in a pre-occupied state. Today, the first day of landing here, this woman has been giving me weird stares and weird assumptions that I was familiar. Even though I'm a fake spirit technically, there is still a possibility that I am a spirit myself. It would make sense, considering I am not from this game at all.

Finally, the spirit unfolded her arms and gazed upon me with her serious magenta eyes. "Are you a perhaps a spirit?"

I pursed my lips, half expecting that question from her. As much as I didn't want to reveal it now, I have no choice. Milla will continue asking if I am one until I give her a straight answer. As of right now, I am dealing with the second step. With a light sigh, I placed the bowl on the counter beside my brown pouch. I then grabbed my sketchbook, along with the note as proof that I need for now. Standing up, I approached Milla and handed the note to her.

"According to this…I'm a pseudo spirit."

"A pseudo-spirit?" Rowen repeated with light shock for he was equally surprised like everyone.

After Milla grabbed the note to read it, I am somewhat relieved that she didn't decide to read it out loud to everyone. I don't want to explain a lot to everyone, but if it's Milla, I'm pretty sure that is enough as a guaranteed for me to come along. I am expecting that later in the near future I will have to explain it either way, and that is fine. Right now, I am still unstable in terms of mentality. I still can't believe I am here. I guess one could say that I am still in denial. Opening my sketchbook, I opened it to a random page of my comic before bending it back to show it to Milla and the group.

"Here's proof that that is not my handwriting." I spoke with a serious face that soon changed to bewilderment upon realizing that I am showing my comic. A light blush could be felt on my cheeks as I shyly glance to the side to avoid eye contact. "Don't mind my crappy drawings…It's unfinished."

Alvin then whistled, "Wow, those drawings are better than the wanted posters."

I narrowed my eyes blankly at the brown haired man with a cheek huffed in annoyance. Managing to catch a rather frightened look from Leia and Jude, I pretended to ignore their reaction to Alvin's words. Again, I already knew the story. I just felt the need to clear this up before we are introduced to Exodus. Silently hoping that this is enough for me to explain, I glanced back over to Milla who is still reading the note carefully and peering at the sketchbook I was holding up for her. I am hoping she is comparing the handwriting because that handwriting is so much fancier than mine. A few minutes after, I caught sight of Milla's eyes looking straight at me before handing the note back to me.

"Very well, I believe you."

A sudden huge weight was lifted from my shoulders, feeling myself at ease upon hearing the words that I was aiming for. I put the note inside the sketchbook before shutting it close. However, we heard a small noise escape from Leia's mouth that caused us to look at her in confusion. She looked rather embarrassed.

"I was reading that comic…"

"Oh! Sorry!" I immediately apologized with a nervous laugh. "Here, you can read it."

I took the note from inside my sketchbook before handing it over to the brunette. She triumphantly raised it up in the air like in the Legend of Zelda games when Link gets a treasure from the chest. Da na na naaaa~! Yeah, I can hear the noise in my head. I then witness Elize and Teepo following Leia over to the bed as all three of them sit down to read it. I smiled at this before Milla and Jude explained the situation to me. I felt glad that Milla found me trustworthy and innocent. I don't think I can handle being under the spotlight after being accused that I am a liar. The feeling that that will happen though is lingering still. After the whole story, we all decided to sleep for the night. Leia, Elize, and Teepo had finished reading the progress of my comic the whole night. They reminded me of my brothers when they said they wanted more. Hearing it from them resulted the homesick feeling inside me increase just a tad bit. Okay, maybe a lot. With the best of my abilities, I explained to them that if I find something to draw with, I'll continue when we have down time like this. I was pretty sure that my younger brothers would appreciate that as well. My next worry is the fact I had revealed a few things I didn't really wanted to reveal. For example, me being a pseudo-spirit. I had no choice, really. But the question of if I should have said or not bothered me that night. I guess I'll eventually find out. Tomorrow…is the rough day after all.

The next morning arrived as I was woken up by the bell. When I looked around the room, I realized no one was here. Everyone had ditched me! Thankfully, Jude left me a note. I checked the time to see it should be time for the tournament to start. I took my brown bag and jacket before running out the room as fast as I possibly can. According to the note, they wanted me to rest for a little while more before the fight. They told me that when I hear a bell from the arena, I should head to the coliseum. Honestly, if they feel guilty that I'm going through this and or because I had passed out, I believe they shouldn't be. I am actually glad that I was able to pull that off last night. It will bite me in the butt later, but it is definitely worth it.

While putting on my white and purple jacket, I ran past the people and went to the dock that will take me to the arena. It's a good thing I remember from playing the game where to go at least. Though, this only works because it is literally right there in the town and not a field away. Asking the lady to take me to the coliseum, she took her time doing so. I was feeling very anxious and even scared. Trying to distract myself from these feelings, I turned my attention to the town around me. The air is nice being on this boat. I nearly scared myself to death the moment the cave we entered shadow the boat. Chills fell down my spine from the cold air and the eerie feeling from here. This kind of reminded me of Kingdom Hearts for some reason in the world with Hercules. Though, I think it was the underworld I was thinking about. When we docked, I thanked the rower and exited the boat. In the distance, I could see Yurgen and the two other clan members.

I ran to the three, watching them turn to stare at me with widened eyes, "Are you with Milla and the others?"

I nodded, "Yes! Did they went in already?"

"They just went upstairs. Hurry!"

I started running off to where the stairs are while waving my hand high in the air, "Okay, thanks Yurgen! We'll win this for ya!"

I didn't realize how much of a pain climbing up these stairs are until now. Here I go again with my ignorance of the small details of the game until I experience it in person. I remember when I was playing, I had felt bad for the main characters because I know I wouldn't be able to handle it. Now here I am, running up here as fast as I can and tripping most of the time. It was a good thing I was holding on to the handles. I can tell I was getting closer and closer to the group by the announcer's booming voice as he introduce the Kitarl clan's champions. I really thought I wouldn't be able to make it for I was already out of breath. The moment I saw the others appear in my view, I smiled wearily and proceeded to wave my hand high in the air.

"Hey! Wait up!"

"There she is!" Elize and Teepo both cried out happily as the others looked back to see me.

Alvin folded his arms, "Took you long enough, kid. I thought you were going to sleep in."

I stopped myself near the group to pant heavily and catch my breath, "Oh..Give me…a break! No one woke me up!"

Jude laughed softly, looking back at me with a guilty smile, "Sorry about that…"

As I was catching my breath, my panting decreased every minute. I dismissively waved a hand towards the medical student upon hearing the guilt in his voice. I don't hate them or anything. They have their reasons, and I already forgave them. Milla then walked forward without a word before the others and I followed after her. My eyes wandered around the arena, catching the watchers among the audience. This is starting to scare me. The announcer continued talking as I scanned around more in awe. I'm in the middle of fear, excitement, and even anxiety. As I waited for the announcer to finish, my hands intertwined together in front of me as I lightly swing around side to side. On cue, Leia had questioned if she heard correctly about monsters. I raised my brows with a small smile on my face. From the opponent's side, a trio of large armored crabs and a person in armor came out. Ugh, I remember these consecutive rounds of doom. After the announcer stopped speaking, it was time to go. Along with everyone, I took out my weapons from my bag and immediately went to an offensive stance. It is an amateur stance with my right foot out and my daggers ready for battle.

"Stay focus, everyone." Milla spoke like in the game.

"Miss Asaya, stay by my side." Rowen said to me as I nodded my head before stepping closer to him.

Elize and Teepo stayed near us as well for she is the much needed healer of the group. The people in the frontlines are obviously Milla, Alvin, and Jude. Leia is between support and frontlines. I scanned the three crabs and the monster tamer carefully, thinking of the best course of action would be. Otherwise, we'd all be over the place. Not to mention that this is nothing like playing the game itself. I am literally in the game now. This is reality. Things are different. I don't know how exactly this will work, but I will try my best to contribute to the team.

"Any plan?" Alvin finally questioned curiously.

"W-Well…" I started saying, gaining the attention from others. They were really paying attention to me, probably surprised that I answered. "I think you four should stay in pairs and cover each other's backs. Elize, Rowen, and I will support from behind. Milla, if you can, please take out the tamer as soon as possible."

"I agree with your plan." Milla answered, giving me a nod of acknowledgement.

Alvin grinned at me, looking rather impressed by my so called plan, "Oh ho, we have another honors student! Lucky us."

I rolled my eyes at the man's nickname that he would call Jude sometimes. Yup, definitely. I am going to end up killing this guy later. If it weren't for our opponents charging at us, I would have said something sassy back at the man. My gray eyes widened in shock at the sight of a crab lunge towards Alvin from his blind spot.

"Alvin, look...!"

"I got it! Worry about yourself!" The man screamed, turning around to slash the crab to engage battle.

I nodded my head towards him before turning my attention to the others, seeing that they were already engaging in battle. I was surprised, realizing they were actually going by my plan. It almost felt like I just received an accomplishment trophy. I could cheer right now, but it isn't the time. Along with Rowen, I supported the others with mainly magic. I'm comfortable doing long ranged attacks, but I know eventually I will have to fight in close combat. Just thinking about it scares me, really. Watching the fight from afar, it's just hard to stay back because I'm just too afraid to step in and be in everyone's way. I don't have the courage to do that.

I then saw Milla running past the monsters to the main target, the tamer. It looks like Jude and her had finished off the crab, and now he is holding off the other monster while Milla go for her target. The first thing I noticed is the male panting vigorously from exhaustion. He is almost out of energy. I took a shaky step forward to Jude's direction, finding myself unable to jump in to help him. I want to help him and the others.

"Miss Asaya…" I jumped at Rowen's voice, turning my attention to him. "Hesitation in battle can be fatal if you let it overwhelm you. Build the courage to fight."

I lowered my head down at the old man's words, understanding that he is right. This urge to help is strong and it will be my fault if something happens. When I remember back to Leia and the rock fall, there is no difference behind the reason to help her between now. I knew it was coming, yes, and I was very determined to not let anything hurt her. Now that the battles are different from now on, I don't know what is going to happen. Things are going to end up being different. If I let an opportunity slide, I will be left blaming myself for being cowardly.

A bright smile crept across my face as I showed it to Rowen, "Thank you…"

I heard the loud shriek of a defeated monster that Leia and Alvin managed to beat. Running towards Jude, I watched him skidding away from an attack. I replaced the space between the monster and him before pointing a dagger towards the crab.

"Lightning Rod!" I screamed out my very first attack name as a gigantic lightning bolt from my dagger damage the Sylvant Crab. The battle cry of screaming out an attack name…is rather pleasant. I like it. Now I know why characters in games do that. "Jude please help the others. I can do this."

I stared back at him with a confident smile, watching him nod his head and run back to Elize and the rest of the group. The once stunned crab shook off the temporary paralysis before charging towards me. Build up the courage, huh? That is something I needed to work on too back in my world. I find it funny. Doesn't fighting require some sort of a creative mind and a physical asset? Like writing and making stories, one uses their creative mind to paint out what is happening. It doesn't require a physical asset, which would explain how badly out of shape I am. I know for a fact that the only exercise back at home are from doing chores and running around the house like a chicken that had lost their head. I can do my best now for Jude and the others.

I stepped back, dodging a basic attack, and proceeded on doing regular attacks. Striking with my daggers, I slashed the crab through various directions to experiment what I can and can't do. In the end, I managed to push it back successfully before leaping in the air to use the its head to boost me up high in the air. I twirled around, focusing all of the magic to my daggers. They then turned bright red, stabbing the crab afterwards. An explosion took place, forcing my opponent to fly in the opposite direction. As for me, I landed on the ground with a skid in the other direction successfully. I didn't fall on my back this time! I witnessed Milla finish off the tamer as a bright smile crept across my face. We had won the battle. Jude and Elize did a healing combination arte with Heal and Healing Circle called Pixie Heal. Excited that we had won, I jumped to my feet and pumped a fist in the air.

"And now it's time for our next match!"

Our next opponents are three large birds that I swear that look like peacocks, but larger. Their tamer is a female chakram wielder.

Milla shifted her eyes towards me, "Asaya, you get the human. We'll deal with the monsters."

"U-Uh okay." I responded meekly due to her somewhat intimidating nature.

My first thought is that this is probably because I suggested she attacks the tamer in the last match, so this is payback. Whatever it was, I had to oblige. Maybe I am missing something here. The battle started, and I charged straight pass the monsters to my sole target. My first attack is an immediate attempt to hit the female tamer. However, she ended up evading by doing a backflip. The enemy then charged at me with her weapons ready before I retaliated by blocking it with my daggers. She then kicked my foot, forcing me to fall on my back. My eyes widened in shock as my mouth released a shriek, watching her aim her weapon towards me from above. With gritted teeth, I forced myself to roll back to avoid the attack before standing up from the ground. I took no time to take out my small blades from its pouch to throw it at her. Even though she dodged it, I smirked as I telepathically moved the blades to follow the enemy. I surrounded the tamer with my blades. Momentarily, I heard a monster shrieking at my side, followed by footsteps. I looked to the direction of the source and opened my eyes to see that the peacock monster was running towards me. Instinctively, I leaped towards the tamer to avoid it. Seeing how the tamer moved from her spot to move behind me, I twirled around to meet face to face with her chakrams slashing my body. I shrieked in pain, cursing silently at myself for being slow to block it. A fireball randomly passed between us to attack the monster near me. The moment I could see the tamer again, I quickly moved the blades to surround the tamer again. After I plant my feet firmly on the ground, I pushed the button on my dagger to have its blade poke one of the flying blades.

"Lightning Sting!" I named the attack as the blades pointing at the tamer release a series of thunder shocks on her enough to knock her out.

At the same time, I witnessed Leia knocking out another monster nearby. We had won this match as all of us received yet another Pixie Heal from Jude and Elize. Panting heavily from exhaustion, I managed to give Leia a thumbs up. She simply jumped in the air happily like she would when she levels in the game. The both of us walked to meet the others as I gestured with my hand to summon my blades back to where they belong. The others saw this and gave me these weird looks.

Between pants, I managed to laugh nervously at their reactions before rubbing the back of my head, "Don't ask…I can telepathically move my blades."

"That's…interesting." Milla commented before putting a hand on her hip, giving me a smile. "You're getting better at fighting. Keep it up."

I blinked dumbfounded at her words before realizing the real reason behind her ordering me to fight the tamer alone. She wanted me to practice with the tamer. I feel really grateful now. Smiling back, I sheepishly scratched my cheek with a finger, "Thank you…"

The next battle commence as our opponents were three harpies and a male tamer with a wand.

"Okay, champions, make this one count!"

"Jude and Rowen, get the human. Asaya, protect Elize. The rest of us fight the monsters." Ordered the blonde spirit.

I nodded my head in agreement, taking a few steps near Elize. As soon as the battle started, the healer and I stayed back. My hands gripped on my weapons, watching the other party members fight with our opponents. For once, I am glad that I am in the back because I was beginning to feel very exhausted after that one to one match in the last round. Like Milla ordered, Jude and Rowen aimed for the tamer while the others fight against their own enemy. However, Leia had received an attack before falling on the ground. The harpy flew straight towards us both, startling the girl and I. Elize started incanting a healing spell as I decided to throw my blades at the floor ahead of us. A barrier of ice stopped the harpy's advance, creating time for me to press the right button on the dagger and throw it at the enemy. I saw the trademark green healing circle underneath Leia, who stood up almost immediately. I summoned up fire magic to my wired blade, causing an explosion to blind the harpy. I then pulled the blade back to its original position, allowing Leia to resume her fight. Hearing her thank the child healer, I could also hear the exhaustion in their voices. Thankfully, the battle is almost over.

"Are you alright, Elize?" I asked the girl with concern.

She nodded her head, "Y-Yes…"

I narrowed my gray eyes at her before turning my attention back at the fighters on the battlefield. Just in time, everyone had managed to knock out our enemies. The group gathered slowly as I could hear their panting. Milla had her hands on her knees while bending down, Leia immediately fainted on the ground with Elize crouching down near to fan her face, Jude was down on a knee struggling to stand up. The other two are standing up like this is nothing to them as Alvin had his hands on his hips, swinging back and forth.

"Leia!" I screamed out to the girl in worry after seeing her collapse.

I ran after the three, but I felt myself falling to the ground instead. If it wasn't for Alvin being near me to catch me, I'd be on the ground unable to get up. I thanked him in the middle of listening to the commentary guy announcing our victory. Letting go of Alvin, I ended up sitting on the ground with my legs slightly bend in front of me while panting heavily.

Well…That was fun.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ahhh..Here is the next chapter as promised! (A day later..Good going, Izeiya.) Sorry about that. I came back home feeling airsick, so I'm currently fighting that right now. I have a couple things to say and mention. I said that I will try to do uploads every other day, but then I realized that that is not going to work out right now. I will try my best to make this not feel so rush for my part, and I'll just won't upload like a year later or something. As a reader and follower, that is intense because what if I want to know what's going to happen in the next chapter. I won't say it's mean, because as a person, I can understand that things happen that we cannot control. This is a story I am planning on finishing. I love Tales of Xilla, how can I not? Haha.**

 **Also, check out my profile once in a while. Sometimes I update things on there concerning my stories and other things. I put my deviantart account and the song this story chapters is based on there if you are interested.**

 **Mewnia: You are awesome. I especially love your Xillia fanfic, so reading your review made my day. I will keep that in mind. I tend to do that during fighting scenes, and it's one of the many things I need to work on. Thank you so much! I'll try my best!** **Ah as for the reason why I started off in the middle...Is a secret~ ^.^**

 **Thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoy this lovely episode of "Forget-Me-Not."**

 **Disclaimers: I do not own Tales of Xillia, but my OC.**

 **:)**

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 _V_

 _ **If Our Crushed Memories Are Still Somehow Connected**_

After the matches, we left the coliseum through these fancy looking double doors. Feeling the soreness kicking in and the fatigue, I ended up falling behind the group. I stayed behind Alvin most of the time. Many thoughts wandered in my mind, varying from how I couldn't believe I managed to fight despite how nerve-wrecking I was to my worries of certain events happening soon. It keeps replaying in my head like a broken record. That's why my cautious eyes has been on Alvin, especially when I decided to hang on to his sleeve when we walked down the stairs. I ignored the weird and confused looks I caught him giving me.

"We did it! We won!" Leia cheerfully exclaimed, gaining our attentions.

Jude replied, "It nearly went the other way though."

"Come on, that was a cinch." Alvin responded nonchalantly.

I narrowed my eyes blankly at the back of the male's head and murmured, "I don't think so."

"You're just not used to it, kid. And why are you hanging on to me?"

I avoided eye contact with a light blush from embarrassment, "I'm tired…Walking down the stairs will make me fall."

I assumed Alvin didn't know what to say, considering how he simply shrugged after hearing my reason and fell silent. No really, it will happen. It happened once during my trip to the beach resort.

"I beg to differ. These matches were quite demanding."

My eyes flickered silently towards the old man, wondering how in the world he end up still following the script even after I said something completely off. It's just a funny thought, you know? Being a part of this new reality that you are familiar with in a different perspective tends to do these things to you. Everything still feels like I'm in a dream, but the coat that I'm hanging on to is real.

"Our little buddy Alvin's a big fat liar, right Elly?"

"Yes, it wasn't easy at all." Elize agreed.

I chuckled lightly after hearing Alvin mutter the next piece of dialogue under his breath. He was trying to cheer them up, I understand, but even I have to admit that the tournament was a bit too much. Like Alvin said, I am not used to it. I wasn't the only one struggling in the battlefield, however. This began to make me wonder how it is going to be in future battles. We finished walking down the stairs as I was the only one who remembered that Milla didn't follow the rest of the group. I even noticed her did so. I stopped walking just between the woman and the others. In order for me to not be suspicious, I brought my attention solely on the group talking to Yurgen and the others. It took me a while to realize that they were somewhat close to the spirit. How in the world did they not notice her? It has to be Yurgen talking to them. It would make sense, considering how focused they are listening. Glancing with my gray eyes to take a peek at the blonde woman, I averted my attention back to the people in front of me before using my right hand to hold on to my left wrist from behind. Honestly, I am starting to feel a bit concerned for Milla. I remember she has been saying weird things that made me think of the worst.

The group except Jude followed Kitarl Clan to their next destination. Upon seeing the medical student turn to my direction, my concerned look immediately changed to a completely fake confused look while tilting my head to the side.

"What's up with her?" asked the dark haired male, causing me to look behind me to stare at Milla for a brief moment.

I then turned my head back to him with a shrug and slowly approached Jude, "I wouldn't question it. I don't know myself."

After giving him a meek grin, I walked past him to follow the group. My grin quickly faded on my now worried face. I remember that a certain event is about to begin. Putting my hand on my chest, I can feel my heart beat pacing fast. It's almost time.

Inside the dining room, I would call it, I sat on the edge of the table between Alvin, who is on my right, and Rowen, who is on my left. This spacious room of hungry fighters is filled with chatter and glass clanking against each other. It feels like a feast in here!

...Of impending doom.

I kept my eyes on the food in front of me, glaring at the true intention within it. I don't trust it. As a food lover, I am deeply disappointed. After that whole fiasco with the consecutive matches, I believe we deserve it. Honestly, just staring at it just makes me want to throw up.

"Scoping out our opponents for the finals?" Alvin spoke, bringing myself back from my very upset mindset. I looked up to watch and listen to the conversation.

A surprised Jude looked at the man and answered, "Well, yeah. Of course."

"What if you spy a cute little she warrior? Someone who's totally your type?"

Jude literally stood from his seat with a disbelief look on his face. I raised my brow in amusement at the poor guy, who is glaring at the mercenary.

"What?! Why would that make a difference?! I'm here to fight, not flirt."

Alvin chuckled lowly under his breath before lowering his head down as a rather sad look took over his face. From my peripheral view, the sight of it is enough to purse my lips in worry. The poor guy. It is so hard not to comfort him, but I had to refrain myself.

"We've made it to the finals." Yurgen said, standing up as Jude sat down to allow the attention of everyone towards him.

"To be honest I wasn't sure you had it in you."

How rude, Yurgen. Of course they'll make it. Don't underestimate the power of the main characters!

"Why? We told you we'd win!" Leia retorted cheerfully.

The man laughed and smiled, "Fair enough."

He then sat down as I observed him from across the table. For the record, I hope Yurgen realizes that they did all the work. I was just there fighting and exercising. I mean, I totally did not do as much. Haha…Why am I still here? A woman came over to Milla, placing a plate of food down in front of her. "Anyways, please help yourselves. You'll need to have energy to win the finals."

I wish! I didn't know whether to share my frustration about the food or not. I obviously didn't like the fact that this food is poisoned, and it just ruins my appetite. Still, I really did want to say something. I hung my head down to stare at the food carefully after giving a grateful smile at Yurgen even though he didn't seem to notice it. At this time, the man who came in to warn Yurgen walked through the door. I immediately glanced at Alvin, expecting his reaction soon. Milla then stood up to stop everyone in the table from touching the food, practically startling everyone except me. After Elize stood up in confusion, we all heard thudding and glass shattering from the table to the floor. This feast has turned to a whole new level of food poisoning. Okay, that was bad. I gritted my teeth in anger, feeling guilt overwhelm my soul. There is nothing I can do at this point. What happened with Chris and I very much stopped me from making the same mistake. I was scared because of it. I was too late. The deed was done. We all stood up except Alvin as we looked upon the nearest victims. My hands curled up into tiny balls of rage as my gray eyes watched Jude and Leia run to check on them.

"What? What's happening?" questioned Yurgen as my eyes softened in acceptance that I couldn't do anything. I couldn't save these people.

Rowen and I approached the two as I went to the person slumped on the chair near Leia. I cringed at the body in fear, suddenly remembering the words Chris said yesterday.

" _You died…And put your family in huge pain."_

"Poison…" I found myself saying out loud without realizing that I did. It took me a while to snap myself back to reality.

"Correct…It's a poison that dissolves in liquid. Metecinia." The old man spoke, shifting his eyes from me to Jude, who immediately was alarmed by the news.

The medical student stared at Rowen then with a pale look, "Are you serious? Why would anyone do this?"

"Do our opponents want to win that badly?" Yurgen spat in resentment as we looked at him calmly.

Jude then stood up as soon as Milla answered, "No, it wasn't them."

While all eyes stared at the spirit, my own shifted to a displeased Alvin. "There is only one group who would use such cowardly means."

I narrowed my eyes sympathetically at the man the moment he stood up from his seat and ran off. When I was playing this scene, I've always wondered about Alvin. Sure, he may look shady and would do things to make the group distrust him later. However, I am a sucker because of this thing called inner conflict. Everything he does always seem so surreal to the point it makes me wonder why he does this or what is he really thinking. The more I spent time with him in person, the tenser I feel around him, because I know. I know there has to be more to that lying interior.

Milla screamed after him before my feet started to follow my own desire to run after the Exodus member.

"Asaya!?"

"I'll follow him! Don't worry, I'll be back!" I immediately answered Jude, waving at him before running through the door.

I feel like that there has to be more to this story like where in the world he could have possibly gone at this time. The man was running towards the exit door of the coliseum. I caught a couple times where he would look back at me to check if I was tail gating him still. By the time we reached the boat docking area where it is suddenly empty probably due to the tournament, I witnessed Alvin twirling around with his gun pointing at me. After jumping down from the last stair step, I skid to a stop upon seeing this with widened eyes in shock. Not wanting to fight him, I frantically raised my hands up in the air and stared at him with a bewildered look.

"Go back to the others, kid. Why are you following me?"

"Cause I want to! And why are you pointing that thing at me?!" I managed to say in panic.

The man gritted his teeth angrily. He really is in a hurry…My shoulders then relaxed, lowering my hands down. I tried my best to act as calm as possible as I struggled to put on a small smile to reassure him that I'm not going to do anything.

"Alvin, where are you going? You can tell me."

"There's nothing to tell. Now, move it!"

Alvin then shot the floor in front of me, causing me to gasp and take a cautious step back in fear. He then flee to a total different direction as I hesitantly call out to him. I was shaking. I couldn't believe it…That man didn't think twice to shoot me. I again put my hand on my heart to feel my own rapid heartbeat. I'm still alive. However, I can't help but worry about him. Maybe I should go back to the others like he said, but I still want to know where Alvin is going. Coming to a decision, I turned around only to see a trio of these weird people with armors approaching me. That is when I heard faint crying in pain, causing me to wince and cover my ears. They sounded very…hurt. Their get up and everything is familiar. One of them is a male dual blade wielder while the other two are individually carrying a giant like cannon. My eyes widened in realization, now remembering who they are.

Exodus.

I took a couple steps away from the trio, putting on a confused look, "M-May I help you…?"

"Mia Arashe, you're coming with us." The dual blade wielder spoke, making me completely stop and widen my eyes in shock. How in the world do they know my real name!? There is no way…

"I don't know…who…" I couldn't find the words to continue my sentence for I was stammering in confusion. No words cannot comprehend how I am feeling right now. Not only did Alvin rejected me, but Exodus somehow knows who I am. I don't know anyone else besides Maxwell who knows my real name. I don't understand…

Suddenly, the enemy started attacking me probably due to impatience. The one with the dual blades charged to aim an attack before I successfully ducked with a shriek. Due to my fatigue and my inability to take out my daggers, my action to grab my daggers from my pouch is slower than before. The enemy kicked straight on my stomach, forcing me to fall on my back. During my time falling, one of the cannon holders struck me with lightning. Screaming in pain, I ended up on the ground with my eyes struggling to open. The man with the blades managed to tie my hands behind my back, lift me like a football for I was under his arm, and proceeded to carry me to the boat. I couldn't find the strength to break free. That lightning blast was too powerful. Even though I was awake, I didn't have the energy to move around. What in the world is going on now?

"Why are you after me? How do you know me?"

"Mia Arashe, the great spirit Maxwell's pawn, we expected your arrival."

Pawn?

"That is total BS. I'm not from this world…" I spoke softly with a groan from pain.

Now that I know Exodus is aware of my entire identity, I can say something like that. I don't quite understand what they mean by 'pawn.' Then again, I don't understand what is going on in general! There is absolutely no way that I exist in this world. We then arrived back in town where it is quiet due to the time being night time. It is quite eerie upon realizing that there is literally no one around. The man carried me out of the boat with the other two cannon holders, watching as stairs pass in my sight. They have gotten silent probably due because they are in the middle of kidnapping me. In my mind, I started the process of putting all of the puzzle pieces I have together. There is a piece missing though…All I know is I have to get out of here. I can't afford to dwell on this any longer. Closing my eyes to concentrate my mana, I opened my hand to telepathically pull my blades from my pouch to make them silently cut my ropes. The moment I successfully cut it and I was free, the two cannon culprits started to freak out and quickly aimed at me as lightning charge. Trying my best to ignore the spirits screaming again, I swiftly positioned myself between my capturer for the cannons to attack him instead. I ducked, hearing screams, and rolled between the man's legs. After standing up, I ended up kicking him towards the other two the best that I can. Telepathically, I took out more blades to surround the three as I backed away to point a finger at them.

"Flame Spiral!" I cried out as a fire tornado blasted the three beings into crisps.

Yells were heard from within the circle of fire for a few moments. When it was over, I took out my daggers and charged at the three to vertically slash the one with the dual blades. Surprising enough, it sent a huge force wave that made the three fly in the air and land in the water. While panting heavily, I lowered my daggers as my small blades flew back inside its home one by one. Heavily sighing in frustration, I found myself falling down on my side. Allowing myself to lie here in peace, I let go of my daggers and stared at the night sky in thought. This is really bad. Exodus knows exactly who I am. The group is probably back in the inn and from the location the members were taking me, there is no way they'll know where I am. I'm on the opposite side of the inn, that's why. Things have gotten worse.

My eyes started to feel heavy as I thought to myself, _'Not now…I need to go back…'_

Slowly but surely, I struggled to push myself off the ground and to my feet before walking slowly to the inn. This feeling that I'm being watched constantly bugged me. I hate the night. It is so scary. My eyes lowered to the ground, still having numerous thoughts in my mind. Is this because I made another decision different than the story? Something is telling me that it can't be it. I didn't do anything drastic, and I can't think of anything that could trigger this. Just when I thought that I was home free, I was wrong. In front of me are four Exodus members standing in the middle of the bridge. Three cannon wielders and the leader, who looked like a normal civilian, holding a gun.

I glared at them from afar, stopping a couple feet away, "You..have got to be…kidding me…"

"You can't run from us, Mia Arashe." The leader spoke, pointing his gun towards me and the other three charging up their attack.

The spirits crying can be heard, suddenly reminding me of my younger brothers. I must be very exhausted…The more I hear it, the more it kills my ear in pain. I wince, covering my left ear with my hand. They each then unleashed an ice and fire beams towards me as I manage to roll to the side in the last second. Because of the matches, I have been getting better at fighting, but…A sudden kick on my side caused me forcibly impact the bridge wall.

"Gah!" I screamed before sliding down on the bridge wall. Just then, the gunman approached me with his gun aiming straight at me. The one with the ice cannon froze my feet to make them stick to the ground like gum.

I struggled to move with a glare shooting at the four, "What the hell do you all want from me?!"

A minute later, a miracle happened. Something tall and brown breezed pass me to attack the gunman with their sword before shooting the three enemies. My eyes widened in realization, "You…!"

Startling me, the man shoot the ice to break me free, "Run away! Now!"

"Alvin! But…!" I was too late. I wanted to tell him to come back with me, but he already ran away back to the opposite direction of the inn. With a gasp, I came to a realization after remembering one of the most important and emotional part of the game. The direction he is running off to…Has he been checking on his mother this whole entire time?

* * *

"Let's retire for the day and revisit this." Upon hearing Rowen's words from the other side of the door, I opened it to rejoin the party. Even though my eyes are closed and I could hear my own panting, I also could hear the gasps and cries of my name in relief from them. Managing to close the door, I took a few steps towards them before falling down.

"Asaya, what happened?! You're all hurt!" Leia screamed with confusion and worry, supporting and helping me face the ceiling.

Jude ran up to the other side, crouching down to start healing, "Here. Stay still."

"I…" I started to speak, but I couldn't bring myself to form the next words I wanted to say. My mouth was left wavering, speechless. I'm tired. I just want to sleep and never wake up. My eyes opened just a little bit to give a shy glance at Jude before looking at Milla. A part of me hopes that she can't see through my hair covering my eyes, but at the same time, I didn't care. Finally, the moment I have been waiting for and wanting to do, I allowed the rejuvenating arte of Jude's ease my pain and put me to sleep.

' _Help me…'_

The next day, I woke up by the sound of a bell ringing through the city of Xian Du. I jolted up immediately from my resting bed. This is the second time they left me like this! After standing up almost quickly, the sudden motion caused a rush of nausea and even soreness overwhelm my body. I ended up sitting on the edge of the bed slowly, putting a hand on my forehead. Today is officially the third day being in this world. Images of what happened last night played in my mind. Two consecutives battles with Exodus, then Alvin rescuing me. What confuses me is the fact that he is an Exodus member. Why would he save me from them? Deciding not to dwell on it too much, I shook my head and once again took my butterfly pin and belongings out the door. I would be lying if I didn't think that this will probably be a consistent thing from this moment on.

I ran straight to the coliseum as fast as my short legs can. At the same time, I am fixing my hair. The bell is a signal that all contestants should head straight to the arena. Right now, the party must be on their way there. The dreaded feeling overcame my heart once again at the remembrance of a certain event. It motivated me to hurry up because they are going to enter a world of plot twists. After riding the boat, I could see the group talking in the distance. The moment I got off, that was when I stood face to face with a stern Alvin rubbing the back of his head. I assumed because of his tall self, the others couldn't see me fully. I was just a person who had just arrived. To Alvin, who finally noticed me by the startled look on his face, I am someone who had come in at the wrong time.

"What are you talking about?" I heard Jude ask curiously.

I narrowed my gray eyes at the older man in front of me at the sound of Milla's answer, "Alvin is working for Exodus."

Like everyone, I was surprised at Alvin, or in my case, I pretended to. I fell silent, watching him with careful eyes. He was giving me a look that read: 'Well, shit…' That's right, Alvin. I know who you are now, even though I knew from the very beginning. It somewhat feels like I have unlocked another passage to talk about in the near future. The urge to smile is great.

"What?! You're kidding me, right?" Leia cried out in disbelief.

"I wish I was." Alvin answered, turning around to the side to reveal me to the others. I could sense their stares that I ignored as I step away from Alvin to my own little spot near the group. "They've been having me do odd jobs for them."

I folded my arms bluntly, staring at the Exodus member with a serious look, "So…About the poison then."

"That wasn't me!" Alvin defended, taking a step towards me, "I almost choked down some of that stuff too, you know. I don't know who was behind it either." He then raised his arms shrugging nonchalantly, "I worked for 'em, sure, but it was always small-fry stuff."

Even in person, I had this urge to punch him just for a reason later. I guess I just have to wait until that time comes because right now is a very sensitive time for all of us. I pursed my lips together, letting the others do their own thing. My eyes softened the moment Alvin turned his attention to Jude, who started speaking, "Just tell me one thing. Can you promise us you'll never work for them again?"

The man nodded his head, "Yes, you have my word."

"Good." Jude answered, averting his attention away from the Exodus member.

I watched Alvin carefully when he suddenly narrowed his eyes disdainfully at the medical student. Even when it is a split second, I could see the distrust.

"Were you privy to Exodus' plans?" Rowen asked, putting his hands together behind him.

Alvin looked at the old man, "Uh, yeah. I mean, I heard some things. They hoped to change the rules for the finals…" He then turned to Milla, "…and use it to kill Milla."

I was then caught off guard when the Exodus member turned to me afterwards, "And to try to capture her, too."

"M-Me!?" I shrieked, pointing at myself as the others looked at both Milla and I.

Really, again? Can you all just leave me alone until I find out what the hell is really going on?

The blonde spirit folded her arms as Alvin continues, "Even if you win, they have a backup plan. They figure you'll be worn out, easy pickings for their snipers in the cheap seats."

I remember that before I came in, they mentioned that the finals reverted back to the late king's rules. Therefore, it will be a one vs one match. Exodus wants to kill Milla and obviously wants to capture me for a reason completely unknown to me. Maxwell's pawn…There has to be more to that, though!

Yurgen stepped forward, "How dare they stain our proud tournament with their foul tricks! This is an outrage!"

You tell 'em, Yurgen! Milla unfolded her arms to place a hand on her hip. I winced upon seeing the spirit look at me with a serious look.

"Heh, their plan is a house of cards. If any of you except Asaya fights as a champion in my stead, the whole thing collapses."

A feeling of helplessness started to brew inside me. Sure, I am tired and don't want to risk myself to be in danger, but I am stubborn enough to still fight. Stepping up a bit towards Milla to get her attention, my brows furrowed in guilt.

"I-I can still fight!"

"Asaya, but…" Leia spoke softly in concern.

Milla shook her head, "You are still inexperienced and you're injured. I'll take their bait. Anything to drag them out of hiding."

Everyone besides me flinched in astonishment. Ouch, that really did hurt. Then again, the truth does hurt to no bitter end. I returned back to my position, lowering my head down in defeat. She is right after all. I am still inexperienced in terms of fighting, and my mind isn't clear enough yet.

"Are you nuts? Why?" Alvin reprimanded with a hand bluntly on his hip.

"It is far too dangerous. I cannot allow you to risk your life just to bait Exodus into the open," chided a defending Rowen, who folded his arms.

Leia then added, "Yeah, it's not worth it!"

"Milla's gonna die!"

Upon hearing that last word, my eyes widened in astonishment before perking my head up to glare at the source. "She is not going to die!"

I then pursed my lips shut with my hand covering it, easing my shoulder, and glancing to the side with an apologetic face. What is wrong with me? I never thought I would raise my voice to one of the good guys, especially Teepo.

"It looks like Jude agrees with me, at least."

I closed my eyes at eyes then to calm my mind before staring at the party in front of me, conversing. Listening to the conversation now, my thoughts wandered to Elize and Teepo. It's true if we go with Milla's plan, well we are either way, then we can get the "snipers." However, I will still be in danger out there. I know that Exodus aren't changing the rules to get Milla and I. It is a cover up assumption of such thing to manipulate us on thinking so when the real target is Teepo. Even when Milla completely rejected my offer, I can still contribute somehow. When this group chat is over, everyone except Jude and I started walking to the coliseum.

"Milla." Jude spoke to stop Milla from following the others, "Let's give Exodus a taste of their own poison."

"Agreed." The blonde then looked over to me, making me flinch at the sudden eye contact. Jude followed her to look at me with confusion written all over his face.

"Are you still having that bad feeling of yours, Asaya?" She asked.

I immediately nodded my head with a sorrowful look to avoid suspicion. Unfortunately, this bad feeling doesn't involve her and I. At least…for now.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Gah, finally! After much revise, here is the next chapter of "Forget-Me-Not"! I feel as if my chapters are growing longer and longer every upload. This is the longest one yet! However, I'm probably going to end up rereading this and fix something the next day like I always do. Ahaha...Why me? I apologize for the late upload and I'm afraid the next chapter is going to be more of a wait. On Fourth of July weekend, I'll be attending Anime Expo with a couple friends and so being super excited that I am, I'll be preparing for that. Please forgive.**

 **Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Like the last few chapters I was iffy about this so I had to change some things around. That is one of the reasons it took a while for me to upload this. Another note too, when I had writer's block, it was on this chapter so my writing may or may not seem a little off. I also hope that you don't mind the feels of this chapter. I mean, c'mon, a certain part of the game made me cry when I first played it and I feel horrible for my OC to be going through that. Without further adoooo~ Here it is.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything Tales of Xillia related, but my own characters.**

:)

* * *

VI

 _ **Please, At Least Remember Me**_

I stood in the middle of a cheering audience, observing with my eyes solemnly the coliseum. I feel very scared and even paranoid at this point. My hands were visibly shaking for a few minutes, but I slapped it with the other to remind myself to stay calm. This place is humongous now that I am a part of the audience. Temporarily, of course. My heart continued to beat rapidly out of fear and anxiety. It's hard to shake off this feeling of hostility and anticipating danger. Near me is Jude and Rowen, who I can see in the distance from my location. I haven't the slightest clue of where to go or where to start simply because I just don't know this place in general. Again, I was just the player. With the events changing in cutscenes, it was hard to keep up with even the tiny details. If it were me to decide what to do, I would be fighting in Milla's place. That obviously wouldn't turn out well either way. We all know now that I am just a target of Exodus, much like Milla. Not to mention, I have the least amount of fighting experience than the others. Hey, I'm trying, okay?! I just…can't right now. Besides, for this very moment, Jude had insisted that I stay near him in case anything happens. I understand that he is concerned for my wellbeing, and I admit, _I_ am worried about myself as well. But, _I_ have more important worries that doesn't involve myself

"Asaya! Stay close to us, okay?!" I flinched at the sound of Jude's calling voice, causing me to perk my head towards his direction with a light blush of embarrassment.

Geez, Jude. Way to be subtle.

I sheepishly nodded, gathering the courage to respond to him, "D…Don't worry about me! I'll be fine!"

I hope.

Faking a smile to reassure the medical student, I saw that the boy had smiled back before turning around to look around for the "snipers." I think he bought it. My smile faded immediately, narrowing my eyes into the distance. Every minute being in this area is slowly killing me. Never in my life did I ever feel so…scared. But, my own small pride thinks otherwise. They shouldn't be worrying about me, I keep telling myself. They shouldn't. My gray eyes wandered across the stadium to find a certain child, whose safety concerns me more than anything. Like I expected, Alvin and Leia are near her. I closed my eyes in deep concentration to shut out the loud cheering around me and begin to debate with myself of what to do. At the same time, I was calming myself down before I get a panic attack from internal stress.

"First up in the ring: the Kitarl Clan champion! Tragedy nearly put an early end to the tournament yesterday."

I'm conflicted. Elize is alone where she is right now. I want to be there for her, but if I stop Teepo's kidnapping, I fear something will happen to me again. I don't want to go through something like that again. I don't want to meet that Chris.

"But cooler heads prevailed at the tournament committee, so today the finals will go on! To ensure that everything will be conducted fairly, we will fall back on precedent and use the late king's rules."

Chris…With my younger brother's smiling face in my mind, I immediately opened my eyes to determination. As soon as the fight started, I dashed towards the location Elize is in. I can't ignore it. How can I possibly ignore something so heartbreaking in that child's end? The people are cheering, so all I could do is barge pass the audience from behind. I have to hurry before those Exodus creeps start attacking Elize. I know that she is going to go through something so emotional soon. The big sister in me is now released. Just then, I heard loud high-pitched crying that caused me to flinch and stopped running. It was that same sound that I heard from last night. Of course, how can I forget? I swiftly turned my head to the arena in the middle of the coliseum, watching the Spyrix holder shoot Milla. The spirits…I wasn't hallucinating from exhaustion last night. I could actually hear it! The agonizing cries penetrated my ears, making me open my eyes in shock. My heart began to ache with such sadness mixed with hatred. Why can I hear it?

"N-No! Stop! Give him back!"

I gasped in realization, bringing myself back to reality. "Elize, crap!"

I proceeded to run again, silently cursing and kicking myself mentally for being distracted. Fortunately, I could see the small commotion coming into view as the duo managed to grab Teepo after pushing the poor girl down. Upon watching this, I narrowed my eyes to glare at them as they flee to my direction. Anger welled up inside the fist that shook furiously at my side. They still have no right to push her down like that or even hurt her! Not wanting to hit any innocent bystanders, I solely aimed a punch at the male's face the moment they are close enough for me to reach them. I still wasn't confident with my close combat skills. Seriously, I am not Jude. And I certainly am not one to prefer close combat fighting. However, I have watched fights through television to know when one loses when your opponent parries your move before nudging your stomach. Hard.

"Agh!" I groaned in pain, clutching my stomach after impact.

"Oh, this is like hitting two birds with one stone. Just our day!" The man spoke triumphantly, throwing Teepo to his female partner.

My eyes widened in astonishment, "Wh-wha…!"

Suddenly, the man rammed his shoulder against my stomach to pick me up. I tried struggling to break free, but he was holding me down with all of his strength. Without wasting any time, they started to move before the others catch up to us. I could hear footsteps following after us as I noticed that they are coming.

"Put me down, dammit! I will bite you!" I screamed furiously, moving my entire body around to attempt to break free.

I then found myself staring straight at a steel knife, causing me to freeze completely in pure horror. My breaths gradually changed into a slow pace.

"Make one more move and I'll kill you."

His words were as steel as this knife as he threatened me so. My eyes widened in horror, feeling my heart sink. I, once again, can feel the hostility in this world. I allowed his words to sink into my mind, having thoughts of death play over and over again. That soon was replaced by my younger brother's words again. If I'm not too careful, I might actually die in this world! Remembering my last encounter with Exodus, I started to ponder why it took me this long to realize the dark side of being in an unknown world. Maybe the whole joy of living in another completely different reality shadowed this. Due to the Exodus's words, I fell into utter silence with my entire body relaxing. I have no choice, but to obey. He is serious, too. My eyes are still staring straight at a steel knife.

Even though I can see them in the distance, Alvin and Elize are desperately trying to catch up to us. Even so, I still hung my head down in thought. I'm scared…I'm actually scared…Why did I do something reckless again? I thought I had made a mental note to think before I act. I mean, I _did_ think before I act. The conclusion, however, led me to my own kidnapping. I didn't have the strength to move a muscle. Contrary to Teepo, who is struggling to move and speak for his mouth were being clasped by the female kidnapper's hand. Hearing his muffles is heartbreaking to me, and only regret filled my heart. I dare not to move because of the weapon aiming at me still. I fear for the outcome if I were to. The moment I decided to finally perk my head up, I immediately realized that we had just arrived in Labari Hollow. My eyes widened in terror. God, please no…Why did I have to be the one to experience this first hand? Why did I do this?! I…I am not ready for this…

"Please…don't do this…" I murmured to myself in a shaky tone.

Again, playing the game is entirely different than actually being in it in person. Emotions are running high. I am confused, scared, and full of regret. I know that if I make one move to change the direction this is going, something will happen. I also know what will happen…That is why I am scared for Elize and myself. We entered through a corridor by a steel door with Alvin and the child still following. We are almost there.

BANG!

Shrieking in fear, I closed my eyes shut with my hands covering my ears. Thankfully, the knife lowered when the man dodged the bullet by a simple step to the side. The woman did the same. I poked my head up to give the mercenary a pleading look after putting down my arms.

"Please don't shoot meeeee!"

"Hey! I told you not to make another move!" The kidnapper yelled as I helplessly watch the knife move closer to me.

Upon seeing it, my heart skipped a beat out of pure terror as my eyes widened in shock. Another shriek escaped my mouth after watching a bullet shoot the knife away from the hand. I mentally thanked Alvin before I found myself being thrown like a ragged doll by the one carrying me. My back hit a rough wall rather harshly as I released a painful cry. After falling to the ground, I struggled to open my eyes only to witness my two friends engaging with the suspects in battle. Elize was trying her best to grab Teepo away from the man, but the woman was holding her back. Like I expected, the man is grabbing something from inside the doll. Using the wall to support me in standing on my feet, I quickly ran to the man.

"Get away from him!" I screamed angrily, but I was too late.

He managed to take out the thing they needed before throwing it to his female partner. I skidded to a stop upon watching Teepo being thrown against the wall as Elize followed while shouting out his name. Alvin once again saved me unknowingly after the man tried to stab me from a blind side area. Taking a cautious step back, I could see the woman running away behind the people in front of me. I gasped in realization, feeling myself move around the two fighters swiftly. Before I even tried to run after her, I found myself tripping on the ground. I mentally cursed myself for being so useless and stupid, but before I could continue self-pitying myself, I heard a loud noise of someone groaning in pain near me. Whipping my head to the source in concern, my gray eyes widened at the sight of Alvin being stabbed by the other Exodus member.

"Alvin…" I muttered in a hush tone, suddenly feeling something well up inside me.

It almost happened in an instant. Call me crazy, I do have mixed feelings about Alvin. I don't know if he is actually a good or bad guy to us. However, he saved me last night from the Exodus members who tried to kidnap me. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here. I don't know if it is because he did that that I have this urge to help and to be worried. Maybe because deep down, he really is a good guy. I would like to believe that. Whatever the case, I want to save Alvin in this very moment of vulnerability because I owe him. I had failed to save Teepo, help Elize from a time of depression, and I am fully aware that Alvin survives in the game. What if now things are different? Things are different in this reality. I have come to realize this. This is a cruel…yet beautiful world. Out of my desire to help the brown haired man, my arm stretched out towards the two men as blades from my leg pouch flew to the space between them. They then pointed at the suspect to stop him from approaching Alvin, who had fallen to lean on a box nearby. Standing up afterwards, I then gave the villain a cold and ruthless glare before moving my left hand to signal my small weapons towards him. Like a whip, the blades released a rather harsh wind slash at his direction. It hit the man's body hard enough for him to fly towards a dead end on the left side of this small area. Silently, the small knives returned back to the pouch before I quickly made my way towards Alvin.

"Alvin, are you okay?!" I cried in concern, crouching down beside him. Much to my relief, his eyes are still opened.

He was grinning weakly for some reason, "Well…I didn't know…you had it in you."

"Wh-what…?" I mouthed in utter confusion, furrowing my brows.

"Look…for yourself. You killed him."

At that moment, it was as if the world had just stopped. Alvin ended up closing his eyes to rest, leaving me to call out his name once more. My first thought was that he better not die, but then I reminded myself once again that he didn't. The others should be on their way. I successfully managed to stop him from being harm, but…in return, I killed someone. I didn't want to believe him at first, so I rushed over to the man in the other side of the room to check on him. The sight left me speechless as my hand covered my mouth that had opened from disbelief. The corpse smelled like blood…and death. Unlike Alvin, he wasn't breathing. The guy is completely frozen. I started to hyperventilate with my eyes fixated on the dead man. Taking a couple steps back, I was in denial. My body just moved by itself, and I wanted to help. That was then I remembered a certain note.

'… _but beware for they are all affected by your emotions.'_

Oh…my god.

"Hey! Let's play! But first, give me a name!" The sound of Teepo's voice brought me back to reality.

Hearing his voice calmed me down and stopped me from screaming my lungs out. That's right…Elize. Slowly pulling my hand away from my mouth and turning my head back to look at Elize, my eyes softened at the sight of the girl sitting in front of her first friend. The doll is repeating that line over and over again. I was feeling terribly empty, allowing my emotional mentality wither once again. I had to struggle to walk towards the young child. I can hear her sobbing because of one horrible truth - She had lost Teepo. Everything in this moment is killing me internally. Everything had happened within hours, despite the fact it felt like forever. I feared for my life, I really thought I was going to die, but in the end, I ended up killing someone. Even when this was someone who was meant to die in the first place, that man wasn't supposed to die by my knives. If it weren't for Elize, I actually would be the one crying. After all that happened, I chose not to let my emotions get to me for I know now what would happen. Elize has always been my top priority. My dilemma is later. I can at least give her a hug to soothe her a bit, and I did as soon as I crouched beside her. Even when she is not returning the hug back, I was calming down more. Hey, a hug can do a lot to a person…If not this grieving young girl, then obviously me.

"I'm sorry…Elize…" I whispered in a sorrowful tone.

Maybe it is because she reminded me of my twin brothers. She is like Chris after all…I didn't realize until now that I have been shaking. Deep inside me, I was screaming from my new founded trauma. The urge to throw up is very strong.

Now hearing footsteps approaching us, I pulled away the hug before standing up to stay idle in silence. A groan was heard from Alvin then, making me turn my body to the side to look at him. I felt relieved when the man open his eyes as the scene that I remember from the game commence. The medical student proceeded to heal him. That is enough for my shaking to stop completely.

"Elize? Asaya?" Leia turned to us with worry in her emerald eyes.

I couldn't bring myself to smile. Not even a fake one. I silently waved at her before averting my attention to the child near me. Leia and Milla walked over to us with Rowen following behind the women. As expected, Elize ran over to hug the blond spirit. Poor Leia watched her do so with a rejected look on her face. I lowered my head, wanting to block out this conversation. If I have the option right now, I would skip this whole scene and move on for my sanity.

Elize sobbed, "What should I do?"

"What's wrong? You appear unhurt." Milla responded, patting her head.

Leia turned her head to Teepo's location before walking up to him, "And look, Teepo's here, too. Glad you're okay."

As soon as she picked the doll up, I pursed my lips to a frown upon hearing the same message play again. It isn't that I hated it or anything because it annoys me. I just don't like listening to the words that just serves as a reminder of my failure each time. I failed because I was scared and ended up spilling blood instead. You know, I much rather help Teepo than traumatize myself of death. How could I be so stupid?

"What's going on?" Milla asked in curiosity, turning to Teepo and Leia.

The doll said the message again as I closed my eyes to hide the guilt in them. The least I can do is answer for Alvin so he doesn't strain himself.

"He's been saying that ever since one of the kidnappers took something from him." I spoke in a rather uncharacteristically soft tone. Seeing the others look at me, I shyly grab my hand from behind and avoided eye contact.

"So he really was just a machine all along. A toy."

I tried my best to ignore the conversation at this point after hearing Elize's reaction. Jude is probably empathetic to the heartbroken girl. I mean, I hope he is. She had lost someone special. Someone she considered her very first friend. Hearing the words from the one who saved her…I don't blame her if it is hurting her. Just this alone annoys me.

"Alvin, what happened to the Exodus agents?" And then there is Milla. However, that is my cue to open my eyes back to the state when I realized I had killed the male agent.

I gasped rather loudly, gaining the attention from a few people again. My hand immediately covered my mouth once again for my thoughts from earlier came back to me. The man silently gave me a look of acknowledgement as if knowing it wouldn't be best to answer the question for my sake. But for his own sake, he had to answer.

Alvin nudged his head towards the corpse as Rowen and Jude turned to look at it, "Asaya killed one of them. The other gave us the slip."

I almost gagged at the words, 'Asaya killed.' Asaya…killed…I killed. My head started spinning as the scene earlier replayed in my mind. The only word that can describe how I'm feeling right now is suffocation. Eventually, I dropped to my knees where I stood and succumbed to silence with my eyes looking straight at the ground. I don't even want to bring myself to look at their reactions. My own thoughts completely blocked their conversation and actions. I know what is going to play next, anyway. Milla will congratulate me because I'm the one who killed the guy before destroying that black box near the corpse. Elize will ask about Teepo, only to be told by Milla that they will have to separate ways. The blonde spirit is focused on annihilating that spyrix in Fennmont. I just can't believe the others didn't say anything as if they have no choice but to agree. I understand yet I feel guilty because of the fact that she is feeling rejected by everyone. It's the worst. However, just after Elize silenced herself, I heard my name being called. It feels as if life came back to me just for a moment before I lifted my head up to look at the person.

"Hey, will you be okay?" Leia once again was worried for my wellbeing after giving the doll back to its owner.

I averted my eyes from her, wanting to lie that I will be. The question is, how can I be after doing something I never thought I would do? When I took a quick glance towards Elize, that wave of motivation once again brew inside me. It _is_ because that she reminds me of Chris that I need to keep moving forward. Ironically, the thought of Chris also reminds me of my last encounter with him. It was indeed a horrible experience, but the only difference is that this is Elize who is reminding me of the true Chris. The quiet, shy, and adorable one. Without a word, I stood back up before nodding my head silently at the short-haired girl. I like Leia. I really do. I feel like her being in the group gives that positive vibe whenever it needs it. She is the one who gives that balance, and I feel somewhat at ease understanding that.

I smiled softly at her and the group, "Yeah…But uh...W-We should get going. I don't want to be here any longer."

Otherwise, I might break down into tears.

It isn't for my sake, but for Elize. Deep inside, one could say that I'm lying and that it's for mine as well. It's complicated. With Milla leading the way, we exited the corridor to the outside. Finally inhaling fresh air from that event earlier, I allowed myself to relax and take a breather. I'm glad I'm out of that place. Even though the atmosphere still feels suffocating, being outside reduces that sensation. I expected the next scene to play as soon as we exit, but I was wrong. It took a couple minutes and steps towards our adventure to be free from this emotional hell hole to ignite it. I jumped at the sight of wolves surrounding us, growling and baring their angry fangs at us. Feeling somewhat frightened by this, I stood near Elize and Jude in a defensive stance. I didn't bother to take out my weapons because I know eventually a certain big guy will arrive at the scene. I held my breath, anticipating the dreaded scene in anxiety and fear. I can't believe I'm dealing with this in person.

"Heel, you dogs! Heel!"

Jumping from the cliff above, the big guy Jiao landed in front of us with a huge thud enough for the ground to shake. I didn't expect the earthquake to be so tremendously scary. I raised my arms in the air, hearing myself release a rather high pitched squeak from my mouth. This is my first time encountering Jiao, but holy crap, he's so GIANT compared to my tiny self.

"My apologies if my pets frightened you. I had to sic them on some poachers." The large man apologized, only to be replied by Milla herself.

Don't worry, big guy. Your pets wasn't the one who scared me. Okay, kinda.

When he realized who we were, Jiao stared at us with curiosity, "Hm? What brings you lot here?"

Everyone eased up after noticing that they could relax knowing that they aren't in any danger. As for me, I regained my calm composure and pursed my lips to refrain from reacting any further. My heart couldn't stop beating. Jiao is now talking to Elize. This is the moment where it all begin. Upon hearing the question to the young girl concerning her memory of this place, all eyes seem to fall on the poor thing. I did my best to look surprised, but my own guilt got the best of me. My eyes softened in empathy towards the girl.

"What's he talking about?" Jude asked.

"This is the lab where the little lady was raised." Alvin answered, receiving a look from the medical student.

"The laboratory has been abandoned for some time, ever since we had that intruder."

Milla shifted her magenta eyes at Alvin, "I take it that intruder was you, Alvin?"

Leave it to Milla to hit the target with a bag load of money.

Alvin folded his arms and narrowed his eyes at the blonde, "Women's intuition, huh? I was investigating the booster they were making here."

I tuned out the conversation at this point to look at the purple doll and Elize. She is nothing, but sad right now. I'm willing to bet this whole thing is hard for her to comprehend. Watching as a surprised look played on the young girl's face, I lightly lowered my head after hearing that Teepo was a booster. She then turned her first friend to talk face to face with him.

"So, you're just a gadget, Teepo?" The sound of her voice is breaking my heart.

Teepo then floated away from the girl, "You have named me Teepo! Pleased to meet you!"

"A booster reads the mind of its owner and speaks aloud his or her thoughts." Jiao informed the others, reminding me of that particular detail.

Of course, how can I forgot about that? All this time, she has been talking to the others with Teepo verbalizing her thoughts. I closed my eyes in order to hide my sadness, listening silently to Elize for she was in denial. She asked if he was still her friend, the one that she has known for a very long time. Obviously, the answer she received made her more depressed. It is so hard not to cry for the poor girl. It was as if her emotions are surging through me like we were connected. Though, it's probably because I tend to feel anyone's strong emotion in a certain situation as if it is my own. It's the whole understanding of the situation, I suppose. The moment Teepo flew towards Jiao asking that one question about Elize's parents, I couldn't help but think about my own family.

"They…" Please stop Jiao…"They are longer with us."

Dammit, Jiao! I opened my eyes immediately, curling my hands into balls of fists at my side. My head lowered a bit, biting my lower lip. I listened to Jiao explain further that her parents were murdered. The young mage slumped her body in a depressing state as her eyes no longer can be seen.

"I'll never see them again…Not Mother and Father, not even Teepo."

I rubbed the girl's back gently, attempting to soothe her. It may not be enough, but it is the only thing I can do at this point. I mean, is it really all I can do? That line alone struck me personally because it reminded me of my own family once again. I'll never see them again…But if she was Cody or Chris, I wonder now if they would be saying that about me as well. This saddens me, and not only that, this is something no child her age could ever face.

"Hey…" Jude murmured sadly, glancing towards the young girl.

"Elize…" I spoke softly afterwards, hearing Leia walk in front of the olive-haired female.

"I know how bad this must-"

"You still have your family and friends!" The girl retorted angrily at the staff wielder. My hand immediately lifted from the girl's back at her sudden action. I then glared at Teepo as if hoping that he better not say that next line.

"As if these people could ever understand how you feel."

Oh…you…

My entire being suddenly felt cold with anger, showing my momentarily entity towards the purple doll. Family and friends…She has friends. They're right here with her. I'm her friend, too. And you know, friends can be considered family too. I understand how she is feeling. My parents may not be dead, and even now, I still wonder what is going on. The fear that something happened in this world and my own world is strong enough to constantly stay in my mind. Then there is Cody and Chris. I know that if they were in Elize's situation, they will be very upset. However, I cannot help but wonder if they are missing me. I don't want to know the answer to that because the possibility that they don't tears me apart. Back in Xian Du when I encountered that Chris demon gives off that vibe.

Leia called out to Elize, who had ran off. I quickly caught the girl's wrist to stop from starting pursuit on the young girl. I could sense the quizzical glances the others are giving me, much like Leia who had this look of bewilderment and confusion. I understand that she wants to help Elize, but like everyone, I too want to help her. They may not know it, but I am at fault that this happened. I allowed this to happen because of my fear.

"Let me talk with her. Please…I understand how she feels…Kind of…" I requested with a hint of uncertainty in my soft voice.

Leia then gave me a helpless look, "Okay…But, are you sure?"

I nodded my head, releasing her wrist, and put on a sadistic smile, "Yes. I…" I paused then before shaking my head, "Never mind, let's go."

I wanted to mention my little brothers to her as my reason for understanding, but decided against it. Running to the same direction the duo went, I was somewhat glad to know that they didn't run that fast. I could hear Leia following behind me. I know this is the start of Leia being there for Elize for her desire to wanting to know the girl more was showing. I'm not going to be in the way of that. The reason why I'm going is because I feel partially at fault. I was there, I could've stopped them, but I caved in. I want to at least help her understand. Back at home, there are times the twins get into arguments about the most stupidest things. When that happens, I'm the one who would try and make sure the two apologize to each other. Chris would be unresponsive like Elize, and Cody would throw a tantrum. In the end, with patience and love, they would apologize and become best friends again. This case is obviously different, but the idea in terms of cheering up is similar. If you care about someone, you would want to be there for that person. I know the group is undergoing a certain mission and they have to carry on, but they want to be there for Elize. It's a tough decision. As Mia, I understand that loneliness and misunderstanding can be horrible to one. I'm sure as hell don't want to go down that road again.

After crossing the bridge, Leia and I slowly walked over to Elize. She is holding Teepo tightly, staring off into the distance. I put on a small smile, feeling a bit relieved that she didn't decide to run through the Royal Hunting Grounds. Leia and I then walked up to her as the brunette stopped to stand behind her.

"Hey, how are ya doing?"

Silence. I then made my way in front of her to crouch down, staring straight at her emotionless face. She looks so…empty.

My gray eyes softened, "Hey…Just know we will always be with you no matter what you say or think or do."

Silence. I'm used to the cold shoulder. Ah…Déjà vu. I then patted the girl's head with a reassuring bright smile, "Hang in there."

The others soon joined us as Jude approached Leia to ask her how Elize was doing.

"She's fine." The girl answered, staring down at Elize with a concerned look. I saw that the young girl had turned away from her after she said that.

In defeat, I lightly sighed as I stood up. I then looked at the two childhood friends with a worried look, "She'll be fine. Elize is a strong girl, especially after learning about that…"

Leia nodded her head in agreement, "Anyway, this place is dangerous. Let's get back to the city."

The other three continued on as Leia followed after them, but stopped after realizing Elize isn't following. It took a moment for her to start moving. I watched her petite figure silently pass us as a worried Leia did the same. I ended up staring at the back of Elize with a concerned look. She really did reminded me of Chris. After Leia walked after Elize, I let out a heavy sigh in exasperation before covering my face with a hand. I'm glad that that is finally over.

"Are you feeling alright, Asaya?" Oh right, Jude is still here.

I put my hand down slowly, giving a fake smile to the guy. "Yeah…No worries. C'mon, the others are going ahead."

Turning away from the medical student, my smile immediately faded to a frown as I started to make my way after the party.

"Hey…Don't push yourself."

Hearing those words caused me to freeze completely on my tracks for a second before continuing again. I didn't want to answer, so I pretended to ignore him. Sensing that he had started to follow me, my pace grew faster to catch up to the others. With my family in mind, how can I smile anymore? And besides…

 _I've been pushing myself from the very beginning. I can't stop now._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey all, I'm back! I want to say thank you all to those who favorited/reviewed/followed while I was out in Anime Expo! It made me very happy and giddily to the point that I think I scared my boyfriend and my friends during the trip. Seriously, every time I get a notification, I do a little happy dance. It's a wonderful feeling for the author because it gives hope for our story. I honestly was scared that no one would like it. So thank you all so much! I love you! Stay awesome! Now that I am caught up to where I last stopped writing, it will now be a long while until a new chapter will appear. I am almost done with chapter 8, so hold on tight. In this chapter, it isn't much action, but feels, and more feels, and mostly talking. So without further ado, enjoy the chapter and have a great day! Please leave a review and let me know if there's anything I need to work on. I highly appreciate it~ Or if you want to say hi, that's fine. I'll say hi back. I don't bite. No really, I don't~ -evil grins-**

 **P.S Check out my profile time to time. I do updates there every other day, or at least, I try to.**

 **P.S.S (Edit): The story mentioned in this chapter is actually another story of mine. If you're interested, you can find it in my profile. I just thought of how well it fit when I unintentionally mentioned it in this story. My mind is weird.**

 **Shout out to Mewnia! Check out her fanfic, A Similar Story. She's awesome! ^^/**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything Tales of Xillia, but my emotional OC and her family.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _ **VII**_

 _ **On That Hill The Future We Promised Each Other**_

We soon arrived at Xian Du from the Royal Hunting Ground entrance. Along with everyone, I kept quiet and was pre-occupied by my own thoughts. I stayed beside Elize and Teepo to keep an eye on her. On the other side of her is Leia. I know in the game, Leia has been trying so hard to cheer Elize up. She is in the same predicament as I am at this point, but my reason to support the young child is a bit more personal. Maybe doing this for Elize is just a way to redeem myself for leaving the twins. However, I am doing this for them and myself as well. Elize is my friend now – I don't care if she is a fictional character from a video game. I just know that I want to be there for her because I care about her. After listening to Milla talk to Jude in front of me, my attention turned to a woman running towards us from the distance. The group and I stopped walking upon the woman's arrival. Standing beside Elize with Leia now a few inches in front of us, I moved myself aside to see who it was. I mean, I already knew who it was. It's the next thing on the list of this sentimental part of the game. My arms crossed to hide my hands that were shaking from anxiety.

Isla.

My eyes glared emotionlessly. Please, I just want to go to the inn and sulk a bit.

"I heard you followed the bad guys into the hunting grounds. I was worried." The short-haired woman started saying.

"Well, it was an eventful manhunt, but we made it back in one piece." Leia answered. Ah, that's right. She wasn't there when the others found out who Isla is and what she did to Elize. I know because well…The reason is a bit obvious.

"I'm so sorry you all got dragged into this. What a horrible coincidence." Isla bowed her head apologetically.

I released a light sigh, pursing my lips to a deep frown. It isn't a coincidence; she knew. Jude then stepped up to approach her, "Isla, you can drop the act."

She tilted her head to the side quizzically, "Wh-What do you mean? I really was worried. Why would I lie about that?"

Leia started questioning, followed by a Jude to explain to his childhood friend about the tournament. There are some things I want to say to Isla right now, but it is so hard to refrain myself from doing so. Jude deducted that at tournament time, outsiders were either combatants or spectators. After hearing his words, Isla let out a small gasp and leaned back for she was taken by surprise. My eyes opened a little in realization, now understanding what he meant. I'll be honest, when I was at this part, I didn't quite understand what Jude was trying to explain before. Everything made sense, and it helps a lot because I'm here in person.

"Right…I recall what she said when she came to help us." Milla commented, turning her head to look at the suspect. See, I told you guys! Dramatic reasons.

Jude hung his head down, "No one here would need to ask that, not at tournament time. You were ordered to make contact with us. By Exodus."

Busted. My eyes darkened once again, giving a glare towards the Exodus member the moment she hung her head down with gritted teeth. At this point of being reminded of who she is once again, my hatred for Exodus skyrocket immensely. They are hazardous to my plan of keeping secret of who I am and where I'm from. Aside from that, they continue to hurt this group, who accepted me, like in the game. It ticks me off. I listened as Leia asked Isla if it wasn't true, trying to confirm it for herself.

Isla simply answered in a low tone, "They said you'd never find out. They promised." She paused, "But I had no choice in the matter."

"They blackmailed you, didn't they? They know your secret." Jude replied.

Rowen and I took a quick glimpse to our side where Elize was standing, "Your former occupation."

The butler spoke as I twirled my attention back to the woman as she proceeded to speak, "They asked, 'Wouldn't it be a shame if Yurgen found out?' What happened to the girl breaks my heart, but I had no choice back then, either."

I understand that at this time, I had realized that she was being used by Exodus. Even now, my feelings towards that to when I played the game hasn't changed. This is the one thing that conflicts me with how I should feel about her. Isla wanted a new life. Just that alone is the reason that is keeping me from yelling at her and hating her completely. When I played this part, I remembered screaming at the television screen towards Isla. When she pleaded not to tell Yurgen, Isla desperately dropped on all fours.

"He doesn't know?" Milla asked, dumbfounded.

"How could I tell him?! He's a good man." Isla choked out, bowing her head to stare at the ground.

But, that doesn't mean that I should stop myself from sharing my own thoughts despite how I am feeling right now.

"Woman, that doesn't matter!" Everyone was startled by my sudden outburst, watching as this emotional chick stomp towards Isla in rage. I ended up standing between Jude and Milla as I lifted my hands to rest them on my hips.

"I find that incredibly dumb! If he is someone you love, you would tell them about you whether it's a good or bad thing."

Then again, who am I to say something about that? Forever alone. I mean, I suppose I can. It's one of those things when your friends who is in a relationship or have a crush on someone tend to ask for your advice. The one person who isn't under any of those categories.

"You're a woman. How can you not understand this? I'm damaged goods…If he found out about my past, he'd leave me."

She looked at me with pleading eyes, and all I could do is shut my mouth while listening to her beg in desperation. Honestly, I don't understand because I don't know what it's like to be in love. She is happy with Yurgen, but she didn't want to destroy the relationship because of her past. Again, I don't understand but the fact she is acting like this makes me feel somewhat guilty. It vaguely reminds me back when I would argue my dream and goal with my parents. Art makes me happy…I don't think anyone would want whatever makes them happy be taken away from them. I decided not to speak any further in the matter of her being "damaged goods." I know that she is Yurgen's fiancée, but the others don't know that I do. As a complete stranger, I should assume things, right?

I unfolded my arms, giving an empathetic look towards the woman, "I don't know happiness in the form of love…or…or anything of that sort…"

I paused due to the unexpected warm feeling on my cheeks before shaking my head to regain my composure back, "B…But…In any kind of relationship, you should still be honest! So…!"

For some reason, I feel like that I am totally being biased from that statement. I then felt a hand on my shoulder as if it was a silent gesture to tell me that I should probably stop now. Perking my head towards the source, my gray eyes softened at the realization that it is no one other than Jude. I don't understand why he is giving me this guilty look until I feel something forming in the corner of my eyes. I slowly raised my hand to wipe it, and was astonished to find out that I was on the verge of crying. I completely fell silent, hung my head down, and took a step back away from the poor woman. I was about to cry? Why did it took me a while to notice?

Milla turned away to look back at Elize, "What should we do, Elize? You decide."

"Me?" I closed my eyes solemnly at the sound of the child's voice, "Why do I have to?"

"This woman's actions affected you far more than us." The spirit explained to her.

"There's nothing I can do now to make it up to you. But please, forgive me."

I was glad Jude had lifted his hand from my shoulder during the Milla and Elize conversation because he will be feeling myself shake in anger. This is the point where I feel absolutely irritated towards Isla. I quietly turned around to look at Elize and saw the distained look on her face.

"I just don't care anymore." The girl responded, glaring with those emotionless eyes at the woman before walking away towards the river.

"Elize is all alone now, no matter what you do." Teepo added in a monotone voice before following his master.

Isla sobbed as my eyes mollified at the girl, who was being checked on by Leia and Rowen. The reminder of my goal once again dawned on me. I'm not giving up yet, too. When I stared back at the doctor, she was picking herself off the ground and proceeded to walk away rather pathetically. Still, it makes me guilty, but I regret nothing at this point. I'm still angry about certain things. My emotions are just all over the place today. Along with Jude, I watched Isla wobble away from all the emotional damage she had taken.

"We better try to find Yurgen. We need to talk to him about the wyverns." We heard Leia say, causing my head to nod silently.

Elize, Leia, and Rowen all walked away to the direction Isla went as I watched them leave silently. This really is too much…I don't think I've experienced so much hatred, sadness, and guilt all in one day before. I blinked away the tears after hearing Alvin ask Jude if there is something wrong.

"Isla said that there was nothing she could do to make it up to Elize." I meekly glanced at him, noting his thoughtful look. "And did she actually try? Is there really nothing she can do?"

Milla closed her eyes, "Isla is the only one who can answer that question."

"And what about you, Asaya? Are you alright?" The mercenary asked me next. I ended up closing my eyes and lower my head. Of course he would ask. I'm still standing here with them, and I have done something unlike me earlier.

"I'm…in the middle…" I slowly started to speak in a rather awkward high-pitched voice. After a short pause, I caved in and sighed heavily. I opened my eyes then to glare at the direction the others walked towards to. "No, I'm not fine. That…woman hurt Elize and like Jude said, did she try? I think not!"

I twirled my head to look at the three, seeing their attentive and surprised looks at me. Really, I don't blame them. This is the first time they've seen me like this. Deciding to ignore it, I continued to speak in a brittle voice, "I…That child…is suffering! I just…can't stand it…"

"Asaya…" Jude muttered my name sympathetically as Alvin bluntly folded his arms.

He was giving me this look of light confusion when he spoke, "Even after you…"

Interrupting him, I shook my head in order to stop him from saying another word, "Forget me…" Was the last thing I said before stomping after the people who left before us.

I know what Alvin was going to say, and I'm pretty sure it involved what happened with the Exodus members earlier. And maybe Exodus itself in general. I mean, I was slung into a world that isn't native to me a few days ago. For the first time in my life, I have killed someone with my own blades. Yes, I'm still emotionally scarred from that. I try my best to not be suspicious in the group, and I feel like I'm doing great so far. I have the facts straight, surprisingly. I have my own reasons to act and feel as such. I have my own emotional scars like everyone. Hell, I'm still on the edge after what had happened in Labari Hollow. I just…I want food and sleep. I'm one of those people who can calm down after a nice meal and nap.

Seeing how Yurgen isn't there like I expected, the others decided to split up for a bit. I'm guessing because this is around the time of side quests. This also leads me to wonder why it is now certain side events are mentioned. I still don't understand how being in this new reality works. I debated whether or not to follow Alvin, Jude, Milla, and Elize to see the mercenary's mother. In the last minute, I decided not to. After killing someone and going through events that makes me want to go cry in a corner, I don't think I can handle another one. I see no reason for me to come anyway, but curiosity. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood to let my curiosity lead the way. At least, not yet. In the area I'm idling in, it is that part of Xian Du that is in front of the path towards Mon Highlands. With me is Leia and Rowen, who are having a conversation of their own. I overheard a couple exchange of words here and there from them, and it's safe to say that they are talking about Elize. Leia is really worried about her as I am too. However, I trust Jude will take care of Elize for the time being. That is what I keep thinking to myself while waiting for the rest of the group to come back. I aimlessly walked around the area, close enough for the duo to see me still. I wouldn't want them to worry about me. Besides, I need some time to clear my state of mind right now. Now that I took the time to actually stop and look around, everything here really looked serene. The clear blue sky…the waters…the people. The monsters scare me a bit, though. Maybe I can do some exploring around the area, too. That will distract me from these emotions. I almost cried in front of the others, and I'd hate if something like that were to happen.

Standing a few feet in front of a monster with a huge beak, I curiously observed it in thought. It kind of looked like the toucan mascot from the Fruit Loops cereal, now that I look at it more clearly. Huh, I feel old. That brings me back a bit! Not to mention, it's like a combination of a chocobo and that mascot…I wonder if we can ride it. I'm pretty sure the people under the tent probably owns the animal, and is thinking of how weird I am. I'm obviously not from this world.

"Asaya, I wouldn't do that if I were you!" Leia cried out to me as I was slowly reaching my hand towards the monster to pet it.

"Huh?" I glanced back at the girl in confusion before hearing the bird suddenly let out a shriek. "Dah! I'm sorry!"

I responded with an immediate startled scream, running back to Rowen and Leia. My first thought was 'Oh god, it's going to hurt me!' And my second thought was, 'Crap, the others are coming. I hope they didn't see me.' I hid behind the brunette, who was chuckling nervously at me after watching my actions. Sometimes I wonder why I do these weird things when I'm in a bad mood. Is it because I just want to hide my true feelings from the others? Then again, I really don't like to make other people worry about me. My small pride thinks so. I stepped out of my hiding spot as the duo welcomed the others back. I simply waved at them with a small smile before my eyes wandered to Elize, who walked far from the group. Like in the game, the quiet girl sat down on her knees while holding Teepo under a tent. Without saying a word to the others, I ran to her and managed to put on a bright smile the moment I saw her look up at me. I sat down beside her with my legs bent in front of me, watching her eyes shift away from me. I won't give up on cheering her up, or having her think that she is alone.

I frowned at the sight of this and looked down for a second just before an idea came into my mind. "Hmm…Let's see."

I reached in my pouch to take out my sketchbook, opening it to the very first page of my little comic. At this point, Elize will be unresponsive, I realize that. However, I will bug the hell out of her enough to make her realize sooner or later that I am here for her. On the page showed a male character with dirty blonde short spiky hair running away with another character I had named Asaya. Though, this female character has blue eyes instead of gray eyes. The two characters are young, and it looks like the boy has bruises all over his face. I bent the sketchbook back to reveal the page to Elize, even when I know she doesn't want to pay attention. I know Leia and her had read the comic before, but maybe I can remind her of a time where she was happy enough to give her happy thoughts. That's sadly my logic. If I present something to someone that made them happy, then maybe the feeling can come back to overwhelm them once again. It's worth the try.

"The name of my little comic is called Soulbound Risk. It is basically about a group of people adventuring to their fates. These two are named Zale…" I pointed at the child boy before the other kid, "…and Asaya."

Oh wow, a reaction. She looked up at the page with a look of curiosity. A small smile crept across my face, "Yeah, I know. It's me…" I wish it was. "You see, Zale found Asaya outside his hometown. She has really bad amnesia to the point the kids would bully her. But even so…Zale would be there for her no matter what, even when he has a bad past of his own."

I paused after hearing footsteps approaching the group from the bridge. Looks like Yurgen had finally arrived. Even when I'm over here away from them, I couldn't hear the conversation but I know exactly what they are talking about. My eyes glistened in sadness after remembering that Leia and Rowen will pick up Elize any time soon. It's actually very disappointing for me…I want to talk to her more for her own and my sake. With a sigh, I closed my sketchbook lightly before putting it away.

"I'll work on it…I promised my little brothers after all…Who knows?" I smiled at the girl, "You can be the first person to read what I've done so far. If only I can find something to write with…"

I opened my mouth then in realization that I had mentioned my little brothers unintentionally. Crap! I really hope Elize or anyone else from the group didn't hear that. They weren't supposed to know I have siblings. I then felt relieved as footsteps started moving towards us to distract the girl and her doll. Easing up, I perked my head up to see Leia and Rowen as I stood up immediately to face the duo.

"So…Um, what's the plan?" I asked in a tight voice, trying so hard not to look nervous.

"We're going to Kanbalar to speak with the King tomorrow." I raised a brow in confusion at the answer from Leia. Oh wait, maybe because it's almost night time that they figured that we should at least rest.

"We need permission to fly to Fennmont." I folded my arms upon hearing Rowen's explanation, "Oh…kay…"

I'm still not used to this, so this whole being-in-this-universe is strange.

"Is something wrong?" Leia asked me in concern after her and Rowen had picked up Elize by her hands as Teepo float alongside her.

I shook my head immediately, pretending to look absentminded as I shifted my attention away from the others, "Was wondering what Kanbalar is like…Guess I'll find out tomorrow."

Leia smiled at me, who was forcing a sheepish smile back at her. I then silently watched as the duo pull Elize to the direction the inn is. I stared at the back of the girl's head in thought with a worried look. I know what Kanbalar is like, and I know what is going to happen. The city itself just so happens to be one of my favorite towns. I took a couple steps forward before peering at the trio on the bridge. They are having their conversation. The thing with Elize and Isla is finally over, and I'm glad it is. The one thing that is now bothering me is how I had killed that Exodus agent earlier relentlessly and Elize and Leia. I lowered my head down, blinking a few times in thought. I would have died today. What if I did die? No, what if I die from this world? What would happen then? I then shook my head as an attempt to brush away the negative thoughts. It's just so hard not to think about it. My hand reached to my pouch to grab one of my daggers as I lifted it in front of me to stare at it carefully. Killing…I can kill monsters and now people? No, I don't want to kill anyone else. The thought of doing that again scares me and puts me in fear. My emotions are the reason because it affects my so called elemental artes. Alvin was going to die, thus making me feel pressured and scared to the point I'd kill someone to save a friend. My gray eyes then widened at the sight of my hands trembling.

"Asaya."

I yelped at the sudden intrusion of my mental conversation, dropping my weapon in the process. I don't want to think about it…So, why can't I stop myself?

"Hey, if something is on your mind, you can tell us." Jude reassured me as he picked up the dagger for me.

He then handed it to me, leaving me speechless at this words, "You don't have to fight your battles alone."

I silently grabbed the dagger and muttered a small 'Thank you" before putting it away. I did knocked the tamer out in the tournament, right? What about the Exodus members that tried to kidnap me the first time? Did I kill them, too? My gray eyes saddened at the thought of Exodus. Why do they want me? How do they know my name? My REAL name.

"You don't appear well." Milla commented suddenly with a hand bluntly on her hip.

I shook my head and answered in a soft tone, "Ah…Don't worry…Really."

When I finally look up to see her reaction, her magenta eyes were stuck on me carefully. There she goes again, staring at me with that weird look as if I did something wrong. A moment of silence brew between us until the blonde spirit decided to narrow her eyes at me.

"I am very curious about something. It says on the note about 'exploring this world.' Does that perhaps mean that you aren't from this world?" I immediately flinched in shock as she nonchalantly had revealed a piece of the note with Jude around. The look on his face had a rather astonished look as I expected. "Why exactly do you need to explore this world?"

I held my head down, accepting the fact that Milla had caught on. Of course, leave it to Milla to hit another target with a bag of money. She must be rich right now. With a sigh, I admitted in a grave tone, "I don't know, to be honest. I really don't…"

I sighed heavily again and put on a guilty look towards the duo, "You caught me. I'm not from Rieze Maxia at all. But believe me, I'm as confused as you are, Milla."

Can this situation get any worse? She gave me this one last hard stare as if watching me very carefully to how I act and speak. It is kind of making me uncomfortable now. Eventually, she unfolded her arms and tilted her head.

"You seem harmless still…Why is Exodus targeting you?"

I shook my head, "I don't know. They…keep mentioning something about 'Maxwell's pawn'…"

Taking a quick glance at Jude, I can still see the confusion in his face. This is wrong. I don't want to talk about this to anyone, not even with Milla and Jude. But again, this is Milla. I am intimidated enough to feel like I have to be honest with her because I'm actually scared that she will deem me as a bad guy. Again, I don't want that. I don't want that at all especially after what had happened earlier today! Not only that, her whole being has authority written all over her. Now that I think about, isn't Maxwell Milla? Why was it a man who spoke to me, and not her, the one who has a female voice? Is the Great Spirit I'm talking to hiding something as well?

"I…see. That is very peculiar." Was the only thing she flatly said.

I tilted my head to the side in confusion, "D…Do you know what that means?"

The look on her face answered everything. She has this look that read that she is as confused as I am, yet for some reason, I wasn't surprised. The blonde spirit shook her head then as a silent answer, now having confusion add to the list of my emotions. Again, I'm not surprised. I am a being who isn't supposed to be here in the first place. I am a being who doesn't exist in this world, yet now I do as a pseudo-spirit. A part of me hoped that she did because I had thought that she is Maxwell, but now I am having thoughts about who is Milla. I am curious about her as she is to me. There has to be more reasons for me to stick around.

"Very well. You have my trust that you are not lying to us." Milla looked at me with narrowed eyes.

I nodded my head, trying my best to look strong, "Of course, you have my word."

If anything, you two, you have to worry more about Alvin than me. Why does it feel like I'm getting the short end of the trust stick? I'm not upset or anything; I just feel very…sad. I shifted my gray eyes at Jude with a pleading look, "Please don't tell this to the others."

I noticed that the boy had hesitated a bit after hearing my words. Finally after a moment of silence, the medical student nodded his head, "Sure. Will do."

I meekly lowered my head down with my shoulders easing in relief, "Thank you…"

 _Just who are you, Milla?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys, Izeiya here. Look! I'm alive! I'm still here! Sorry, it took me so dang long to upload this. Work has been keeping me busy, and I realize how short this is compared to my other chapters. And I kinda rushed in the end. I apologize for that. I want to thank those who favorited and followed during the period I was working on this. It encouraged me to continue because I'll be honest...I feel like my fanfic isn't that great. I know it isn't, but I will continue writing to those who took the time to read. I can't do stop uploading on you guys. It's highly unfair. I write for fun, but it just sucks that I don't have the time anymore. So, this chapter was a better late than never chance. So really, thank you for your patience. I don't know when chapter 9 will pop up, but beware. I love making things dramatic hehehe..With much love, stay awesome!**

 **One more thing! I'm sorry if there are some OOC moments with the characters. I had decided to practice that on this chapter, and just want to see how I did. It's always been a horrible habit of mine in previous fanfics, so much learning is much appreciated. Thank you!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Xillia related stuff, but my emotional OC. Come on Mia, (wo)man up!**

 **ENJOY! :)**

* * *

 **VIII**

 _ **Was More Lovely than I Could Ever Hope**_

In a foggy area, I opened my eyes slowly to find myself standing quietly while holding my daggers in their usual respective hands. I feel dead and emotionless as I stared at nothing before me. Instead of the outfit I constantly wear, I was wearing denim skinny jeans, a black and white strapped slip ons that is different than the ones I wore, and a white shirt accented with green designs that ties around my waist. My hair wasn't slightly tied up with the butterfly pin, so it is completely straight. I have no idea where I was. The moment I took a step forward, a bright white light spiraled in front of my gray eyes as a small figure starts to form. It soon revealed the unknown figure to be Chris, my younger brother and my attacker a few days ago.

"Chris…" I mouthed lowly under my breath, shocked by his presence.

And like before, he has a knife and charged towards me with it aimed straight at me. Is this a continuation of before? Upon seeing the knife, I had hesitated to block the knife with my daggers. Soon, the fog quickly dispersed as if the sound of clashing weapons was enough to do so.

"Give it up, bis sis. You can't kill me."

"Why would I want to do that?!" I parried the attack harshly before hopping back to distance myself with my little brother. The both of us stood there, staring at each other with different reactions. He lowered his guard down, but his face still wore the same look of pure hatred.

"What is going on? Why do you keep saying these things? Chris, please tell me!"

He is scaring me. This isn't the Chris I know and love. This isn't the timid Chris I grow up loving and tolerating with. The small child stretched his arm out in front of him with the knife pointing at himself. This alone startled me as I found myself running towards him in worry. However, blood can be seen in the hand gripping the dagger. Goodness, he was gripping on the handle way too hard. I stopped at this sight alone, staring at the young boy with concern. I can even smell the blood from where I am. It's very overpowering.

I pleaded again, slowly approaching him, "Chris..Please don't.."

I couldn't keep my eyes off of the blood dripping. Why am I terrified by this?

"Mia...Do you really miss us? Are you having fun with your game?" He inched the knife closer to his neck as he said this.

I stretched my arm out towards him and screamed, "Don't!" I paused and slightly lowered my arm down, "Game? I'm stuck in this world! Why don't you understand?!"

As soon as I said that, I heard those exact words echoing around us as I witness the child vanish by a surreal blow from a wind. Then, I felt something red and on my face as I widen my eyes in fear. I had thought that it was water that splashed on my face, but it was something else. My breathing slowly turned into hyperventilation. The world was spinning around me. I lifted my dagger to look at it since I felt something odd and slick covering my hand. I gasped loudly at the sight of the bloody dagger before I threw it as far as I can to the direction I was facing. My pupils dilated, and I soon let out the most loudest heart wrenching scream ever.

* * *

I jolted up from the bed I was sleeping on apparently with my heart pounding so loud that I could hear it pulsing. My first instinct was to cover my mouth with my hand and allow my heavy exhales breath on it. The others were sleeping, so I didn't want to wake them up or have them worry about what happened. My whole entire body is shaking, and I was sweating horribly bad. I don't think that even in my world I had a nightmare as bad as this one. I don't feel too good...Feeling something well up in my esophagus, I quickly got up from the bed, grabbed my pouch, and exit the room hurriedly without closing the door. My god, this is bad. I didn't even think of putting on my shoes or anything. I was just wearing the long shirt dress with the black stockings and pouch. I was rushing to the bathroom. I don't even know what time it was, but it feels like it was past midnight. I'm slowly adjusting to the time here.

After going in the inn bathroom, I threw up in the toilet. I don't believe this...Am I developing a fear of death or blood? I mean, then again...I did kill someone unintentionally. But, seeing my brother put a knife to his neck like that as if he was going to commit suicide or something, that is serious business to any older sibling. Er, at least some. I care for them like I care for Elize because she's like a younger sister to me. Again, I can't ignore that. Gah, all of this stress is getting to me. As soon as I finished throwing up, I coughed a bit before flushing the toilet. I feel like total crap. I proceeded to gurgle my mouth and wash my face. I took a moment to stop and take a deep breath, staring at the mirror before me. I look like total crap.

"Ugh..Why did this have to happen?" I muttered to myself before exiting the bathroom.

I took a few steps forward, and stopped to stand there in silence. This really sucked. I debated what to do. I should go outside and take in the sweet fresh air to clear myself, but I'm scared that Exodus might come out to attack me. I don't want to go back in the room because I have so many things in my mind. I don't think I can go back to sleep like that. The sounds of footsteps was brought to my attention as I tiredly twirl my head to the source's direction. Soon, I was greeted by a small towel handed to me. When I looked up to see who it was that was giving me this lifesaver, my eyes opened at the sight of a concerned Jude.

"J-Jude..?" My worry that he had probably heard me overwhelmed me. I mean, his face says so. I turned away to avoid eye contact with a shameful face.

"Here, take it. We'll get you something to eat and if you want, we can talk outside."

I shook my head and gently shoved the towel back to him, "N-No, it's fine..really..."

My voice was low and weak. A complete contrast to how I usually talk. But, a step outside would be nice.

" _'In any relationship, you should still be honest_.' Didn't you said that yourself? You've been acting weird today. Is it because you killed.."

I widened my eyes more, acknowledging that next thing he was going to say, so I interrupted, "Hey, shush, no! Not in public.."

I didn't want those words to say in a public place like an inn. I just can't believe this though. He actually remembered that line I had said to Isla. I didn't know whether to be touched or embarrassed. A heavy sigh escaped my mouth after seeing the shocked look on the medical student's face. I understand he's trying to help me, and I appreciate it. But you know..He's right. Even I had thought that saying that was completely contradicting to me. Silently, I thanked the guy and took the small towel from him.

"...Fresh air sounds nice right now.." I admitted in a small voice before a hand was gently pressed on my back to support me.

"Good, now let's go."

We didn't say a single word on the way downstairs until he told me to wait for him in front of the door while he get something for me to eat. I didn't know the food vendor was still open at this time. Er..Unless he decides to barge in and makes it himself. I highly doubt that though. I did what I was told before spotting something interesting on the desk. I walked over to it to find that it was a pencil with an eraser. It reminded me of one of those old fashioned pencils. I was sad because it wasn't a mechanical pencil..But, this should do. I thought I'd never find a pencil in this world because I can never draw with pens. That is just too hard for me. I then snatched the utensil to put it inside my bag just in time for Jude to come back with a plate and a bowl on top of it. He walked straight to the door, giving me eye contact as a silent gesture to follow him. I complied silently, opening the inn door for the both of us. I inhaled the fresh night air, staring up at the sky as Jude sat down on the stair step. My thoughts wandered off to my family. They are not stargazers like me, but sometimes I wonder, would they be looking at this starless sky too?

I then sat down beside Jude, who helped me grab the dish from him. "I hope you like it. It's called Orange Soup."

I observed the soup on my lap carefully with a wierd look. It looks very strange in person. Again, I've never seen one at home before or anywhere. Maybe it tastes like oranges. The texture is different. It looks rather thick whereas I thought it was very thin. Wondering what it could possibly taste like, I gulped quietly and prepared myself for the first bite.

It has a very unique taste, but...

I put the spoon down on the soup quietly, smacking my lips as I finished swallowing the bite. Giving a helpless glance to Jude, I spoke quietly, "This doesn't taste like oranges..What is this blasphemy?"

Jude started laughing nervously at my words, "It isn't called Orange Soup because of the ingredients. But, because of the color."

"Huh.." I stared at the soup for a moment before taking another bite. "It tastes different..But, I like it. I'm disappointed it isn't oranges though. So..Eight out of ten."

Jude smiled for a moment before frowning once again as I continued eating the hot soup of the supposingly not oranges, "Would you like to talk about what's on your mind?"

I paused my eating to frown at the question, lowering the spoon in the soup. Here I thought I'd joke for a bit to avoid being asked that and to fake I was okay, but nothing seems to get pass this guy here. I wasn't sure if I should tell Jude or not, but it sure was enough to cause tears well up in my eyes again.

"Have you...ever wondered about home?" I questioned in a soft voice, looking at him to see his reaction.

He was shocked, then blink dumbfounded for a while. Of course, I know his story from the game. I sighed again and was deciding how I'm going to choose my words correctly. I don't want to mention my brother's appearance because that will confuse him and it involves only me. I'm stubborn, and I refuse to allow those not involve in a certain thing that doesn't pertain to them.

"A few times, really." The man replied after a moment of silence.

I narrowed my eyes and lowered my head down to the soup, "Well, see..I can't go home. I can't see them until I find this thing. Lately, I've been getting this feeling that something bad had happened and..."

"You've been worrying about your family…" I nodded at Jude's statement, silently telling him that he is correct.

I perked my head up and flashed a weak smile, "And trust me, it's hard to adapt here. But, sometimes being with you guys calms me down. I'm grateful that I'm a part of this.."

Pausing, the smile faded away as I glanced down, "That's why I'm worried for Elize. At home, I have two little brothers. Twins. They're around the same age as her. So..I understand how she may be feeling whenever I think of her in their shoes."

"I see..I'm sorry. Are you scared?" Jude started saying before pausing, "I mean, after what happened with Exodus earlier."

The flash of that scene replayed in my mind after hearing that reminder from Jude. It then changed to the nightmare I had earlier, causing me to shudder in fear. I silently nodded my head for I was too horrified to answer. It always reminds me of Chris since it was slowly tainting the image of him. I want to so bad to remember the innocent and timid Chris, but the nightmare always make me think otherwise. I felt something on my shoulder again, making me wince to reality. It was a hand patting me for comfort as I slowly look up at him with curiosity. He was giving me the same look he had given me earlier. He obviously was worried for my well being. This is unbelievable. I'm having a character console me in my time of need.

"It's normal to be scared...In just a few days, you've learned and experienced a lot." He stopped talking to give me a small smile of reassurance, "Don't give up, Asaya."

"Jude.." I mouthed, feeling a light blush on my face. This is so unreal…

"Sorry, may I?" I then grabbed his hand from my shoulder to hold on to it with my hands. He started muttering inaudible flustered words. The whole entire time, I had questioned so many things and events that makes me wonder if it is real or not. Though shuddering, I slowly placed my forehead on his hand.

"It is warm..Thank you…" I spoke in a shaky tone, feeling his tension ease up as well as mine. Even if his gloves were in the way, they are still warm and they are real. In the end, I released his hand and smiled at him. I did feel better talking about what was on my mind, even if it was just hints here and there what was wrong. I've been pushing myself from the very beginning, so I can't allow myself to falter any longer.

* * *

The next morning came, and everyone got ready to leave for Kanbalar. In order to avoid being awkward since I was the first one to get up and shower, I left the room with my things. I waited in the lobby drawing my comic. I was trying so hard not to think about what happened last night and yesterday. Today is the day when shit goes down in Kanbalar and when everyone hates Alvin. Or, probably after a day or two of traveling. This isn't a game..This is reality. And I will continue on until I go back home. I then froze after realizing something. With the clothes I'm wearing...Ah! I AM GOING TO FREEZE TO DEATH. Dammit!

I sighed in exasperation at this epiphany before leaning back on the cushion. It was a good thing I just finished the panel I was working on, otherwise the paper will be full of circles and squiqqles of rage.

"How are you doing, kiddo?" I perked my head up to the source to see it was an Alvin with his arms crossed. He was leaning against the wall next to me.

I smiled softly at him, "Good, good. Try not to worry about me too much."

Turning the page of my sketchbook, I started sketching out the next few panels of the comic. Alvin clicked his tongue and rubbed the back of his neck, "Well when your eyes are red and everything.."

I winced, stopping myself from drawing after hearing his words. Were my eyes really that red? I mean, I guess it was obvious. I didn't get enough sleep last night, and I did threw up. That can take a lot out of a person, don't cha know?

I cleared my throat, "You're imagining things. I'm just hungry."

"You should probably eat something, then."

"Too lazy."

"You're not really helping yourself, kid."

I smiled at the nonchalant conversation we were having, finding it very amusing. However, I can't help but wonder about something. Back when he saved me from those Exodus members before, I have thought about if it had heard my name from those guys. I mean, not only he's a member himself, but he was there that night being Batman. Did he? Narrowing my gray eyes at the room I had stayed in with the others, my attention averted to the chocolate eyes of the suspicious man. He was giving a strange look at my sudden action.

"What?"

"Have you..Er, did you..heard my..n-name..?" I softly asked, staring around with uncertainty. I wanted to make sure no one else was around. He is an Exodus member, but I just wanted to make sure. If not, then this would be awkward.

I heard Alvin sigh then, making me look immediately at him. "Mia Arashe."

I fell into utter shock, looking straight at his very serious face. He wasn't kidding. His whole body language says so. He folded his arms once again, "Everyone in Exodus knows."

"But, that's not possible!" I immediately covered my mouth after my outburst. My eyes then glanced back upstairs upon hearing the door open before voices. I then shut my sketchbook loudly before putting it away in my pouch, along with the pencil.

I stood up and walked near Alvin, "Please for the sake of my humanity and soul..Don't tell the others." My eyes glared at him with fear as I continued to plead, "Please...Promise. I know you're a good guy deep down, Alvin. Just please...Out of all things you can't be honest about, my real name must not -"

"Alright, alright. Sheesh, have faith in me, will you?"

Seeing the honesty in his brown eyes, for once, I have this feeling I can trust him. I let out a relieved sigh. I started to become paranoid because anything can happen at this point to me. Alvin knows my real name. I know about his betrayal in the upcoming days ahead. If he decides to screw this whole thing up, I'm going to be entering a world of darkness. I seriously hope that my words would reach to him like my words of reassurance that everyone is there would reach Elize. Soon, the others joined us and we all head out to the place we are suppose to meet Yurgen. Everyone had their things, and in front of us, we could see the Kitarl clan member waiting patiently.

"Let's head for Kanbalar." The man said to us with a stern look. Oh right, he's coming with us.

Pursing my lips, I sensed a chill run down my spine. All of us began walking through a dark path that I recognized as the pathway to Mon Highlands. I feel like I'm underground. I stayed behind the others near Elize and Teepo. Looking around, I observed our surroundings. There is a caravan here and there with people idling around and conversing with one another as if they were about to leave. I guess, especially with the tournament finished and everything. As much as I wanted to be like the others, I am one to welcome the freezing cold air. I don't care when it feels like I'm going to freeze to death to my clothes and my low cold tolerance. It's a shameful flaw called being used to the desert and the dry heat. I don't get to see much snow.

Soon enough, we were greeted by a blast of cold wind. I could tell on everyone's faces that they were shivering from the sudden change of weather. Despite that, we have no choice but to move forward. I feel like I just stepped in in a wonderful world of snow with monsters strolling around here and there. I was speechless, yet I felt very happy. There is something about snow that intrigues me. It's so peaceful and quiet, but as soon as it begins to blizzard, it's like watching Mother Nature unleashing its rage to those present. I frowned deeply in sadness, finding myself lower my head in thought. When I think about it that way, it's a bit identical to how my emotions affect my artes. I'm not saying I am Mother Nature or anything, but the idea is similar. If anything, Milla is the one closest of the group that can be compared to Mother Nature. A sigh escaped my cold lips as I put my hood over my head. Oh yeah, I forgot I had one.

"H-How is everyone doing..?" A shivering Jude suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

"Cold. Very cold." Leia responded while hugging herself for warmth.

Milla shifted her attention to the brunette, "Really? I think it's fascinating."

I smiled at the spirit after hearing her, expecting that from someone like Milla. For me, I didn't mind it. Again, I don't get to see much snow back at home. Maybe the others too when I think about it. I don't know...Do they get snow in Leronde or Sharilton or the other towns? I would ask, but of course, I can't.

"Milla..Are you cold?" We heard a small voice say near us as we perked our attention to the source.

The blonde spirit tilted her head quizzically, "I feel a cold sensation all over my body and…" She sneezed, causing me to stifle my laughter after seeing her immediate reaction of awe from her sneeze.

The wonders of staying behind of the group. I can see everything what's going on. Yurgen is just another person riding the table seat in the feels train, and I am not ready for the destination. Is there a ticket back to Xian Du, please? I then felt a tiny drop of water fall on my skin. When I looked up, I realized then it was snowing. Holding out my hands in front of me to catch a few snowflakes slowly falling down, I was at a complete stop in awe. It looked so pretty, yet so fragile. A part of me wished Cody and Chris were here. I could hear them laughing and see them playing around while throwing snowballs at each other. Even though I had faced that Chris demon twice, my feelings of love and worry for the real one is still there. I miss those dorks…

"Hey!" I flinched by the sound of that cry, "Enjoying your little daydream?"

I looked up to see the others waiting for me in the distance with confusion on their faces or probably wondering how strange I am. Unless it's Jude, who was staring at me with that same concerned look. Or Alvin, who was smirking in amusement, for he was the one who called to me.

I immediately waved my hands around out of embarrassment, "Sorry, sorry! Coming!"

Dammit Alvin.

As I ran to the others, I found myself wearing down faster and faster. My vision started to become very blurry. What was going on, I heard myself thought. Before I knew it, I fell down forward to the snowy ground on my side. Unable to get up, my breathing got heavier and warmer. My eyes closed, and all I lastly heard were the rapid crunching sounds of footsteps approaching me.

" _Mia...I hate you."_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey guys, Izeiya here! So, I have some good news and bad news. Have some good news first! This chapter isn't as dramatic than I thought it would be...I think. Maybe. I also surprised myself because I was in a creative frenzy this week and then boom, a chapter is finished. I'm still in the creative frenzy. Someone give me a Nulberry because I really need to stop getting buffs. (Aha~ Monster Hunter reference. Pls stop, Izeiya. You're delirious.) I'm in the process of writing chapter 10 as I type this. That's how bad this frenzy is. I was even writing during breaks at work. You don't know how many people come up to me and ask if my notebook was a diary. So, don't take my word for this, but chapter 10 may come up sometime this week.**

 **Now the bad news...**

 **I'm sick. I don't know why I uploaded this so late at night, especially when I should be resting for tomorrow. I really need to stop these all nighters writing. It's making me more sick, and no bueno. :( That is all.**

 **Oh, also! The information below from Genesis..I had to do research about it, so credit to websites. Believe it or not, Genesis is the personification of myself. I love symbolism and meanings and all that wonderful good stuff. I am that girl who wakes up and checks their zodiac horoscope everyday. Anywayyy, enough about that.**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter, thank you for reading!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any Tales of Xillia related, but my own characters. If I were to own it, it would be bad.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _ **IX**_

 _ **Forget Me Not**_

" _Hey Mia, when is your birthday?" A dark brown-haired female asked with curiosity. Her deep brown eyes hiding behind her black thinned glasses peered at me with intent. Behind her, you could see her long ponytail swishing to the side._

 _This girl is my friend by the name of Genesis. I've only known her for two years. I met her on the first day of high school. It was a chance encounter in the library because I didn't feel the need to be close to my fellow classmates. Funny enough too, we met just by looking at the manga section of the library. Genesis was different. Maybe it was because we can relate to each other due to our interests._

" _September 21. Why?" I responded with no trouble, then decided to counter with a question of my own._

 _We were in the library at lunch like we always do, so our voices were hushed immediately by the ever cranky librarian. The both of us smiled at each other in amusement. The fact that the male librarian gets cranky over a small whisper even, it is just entertaining. I understand that he is just doing his job, but there were other loud noises aside from us. For example, the students in a group of three or more huddled around a single table. The students playing a video game on the computers or on a system. A moment of silence passed, and Genesis soon shoved a book she was reading to my direction. In front of me, I noticed immediately that it was turned to a page already._

 _My smile grew bigger at the familiar crystal images around the page and glanced up at my friend, "Am I going to get another gem lesson, sensei?"_

" _Oh hush, you know you're at least a tad interested in what I'm about to tell you." She rolled her eyes at my joke, causing me to laugh softly at her expected reaction._

 _The librarian again shushed us, but we continued talking in a hushed tone. The so-called library voice. I didn't feel the need to decrease our voice volume because it already was hard enough to hear each other. There needs to be a line, you know! I then perused the pages again, noting that it was solely dedicated to a gem called sapphire._

 _A brow raised in confusion before Genesis started informing me in a rather sophisticated tone of voice, "Thaaaaat...is your birthstone. It kinda suits you, me thinks."_

" _Because my favorite color is blue, right?" I was thoroughly enjoying this time of joking around with my friend. Seeing the blank and serious look on Genesis's face, it was a face that read that she is about done with me. Or so one would think._

 _A heavy sigh escaped her mouth, "Well that, and you know they come in different colors, right? Purple, yellow, green, orange...Rainbow." The girl paused to point at a small image of a purple sapphire in the corner of the left page, "I see you more of a purple sapphy."_

 _At this point, I started to become interested in what she was saying. My smile faded into a deep frown in thought, "Explain?"_

" _Sapphire, back then, was said to bring protection, good fortune, and spiritual insight. It symbolizes something like a hidden power of underlying strength, kindness, and loyalty as well as wise judgement about people at times."_

" _Sorry, I can't help but think of Pokemon whenever you mention sapphire." I laughed nervously, scratching my cheek with a finger slowly._

 _However, seeing the serious face on my friend darkening, I immediately fell silent. The intimidation in Genesis's deep brown eyes can be a bit scary at times, especially during the times she was being very serious. I cleared my throat awkwardly and shifted my gaze to my side in thought. True enough, what she said made me speechless. 'A hidden power of underlying strength, kindness, and loyalty' huh? Shifting my attention back to my friend, I witnessed her scary look loosen up to a smiling one out of forgiveness as she smacked her face gently. This sight alone was enough to make me ease up a bit._

 _The girl murmured softly, "Honestly, Mia…"_

 _I lowered my head down to look at the purple sapphire image again, narrowing my eyes at it, "Aren't sapphires usually blue, though?"_

 _Genesis nodded, "Technically, yes. You're an artist. You should know purple is an intermediate of blue and red together!"_

" _Well, excuse me, Gemesis. It was an innocent question!" I huffed my cheek in annoyance, deliberately calling her by my personal nickname._

 _I get why she had mentioned that. Purple is technically blue, so it really doesn't matter was what she was trying to get at. At the same time though, an orange sapphire seems a bit off with that logic Genesis had thrown at me. I decided not to question anymore for I was already confused on why she had thought that I'm a purple sapphire. As if my friend had read my mind, she continued to speak._

" _All in seriousness though, you're a purple sapphire. I could give you a website of personality colors and show you the purple meaning, but I don't feel like it."_

 _Gee, thanks Genesis._

" _But, I guess I can give you a few examples." Genesis said as she hold up her hand in front of her to start counting down as she speak, "You're very compassionate and supportive. You are generous when giving, and expect nothing less in return. You're creative...very creative. Obviously. You have such a gentle and free spirit. And…"_

 _After a short pause, she smiled brightly, "You can be selfish and arrogant when it comes to other people's beliefs and such."_

" _H-Hey! That was a mood killer!"_

 _The bell then rang as every student, including myself and Genesis, stood up. The library grew louder in volume, much to the poor librarian's dismay. I shut the book before giving it back to my friend, who held onto it closely. She looks really happy when she did, but I didn't mind. I know how much she loves her symbolism, and I have to admit, that that concept is very interesting._

" _I love gems. They have their own meaning and individual traits much like people. It's what makes us unique." After putting on my messenger book bag, I stared at Genesis with my eyes opening. There was a proud smile on her face, "I'm an aquamarine. But, so are other people. I think of myself as a sky blue aquamarine."_

" _I see…"_

 _That was the day I had decided I wanted to give her something from my summer vacation trip. She was the one who I wanted to give that gem set to. I didn't know what to think about her explanation of the purple personality meaning. At first, I honestly brushed it off since I found it a bit embarrassing to think of myself having those traits. But, as life continues on, I find that...maybe they are all right? I wonder how she is doing. I wonder if she would believe me when I tell her that my summer vacation was fantastic, especially being sucked into the world of Tales of Xillia. I wonder if..she would forgive me for messing around with her gift._

* * *

I was soon awakened by the cold sensation and voices, feeling myself drift back from my dream. My body moving was the first thing I noticed. Someone is carrying me because I don't feel like I'm lying down on something. It feels like I'm leaning on something, instead. At the sound of voices once again, I slowly opened my eyes. The snow was still pummeling us from above. I was still here. That was weird. I had a dream about Genesis and her usual talk about gems. A purple sapphire, huh? I thought to myself, finding myself looking tiredly at Elize and Teepo. My vision was a bit blurry at first, but it cleared up automatically. From the sight of the girl and her doll companion being smaller than usual, my hunch of someone carrying me is slowly becoming a true statement. From the background behind the girl, I realized we had just past something like a gate. We were already at Kanbalar, it seems.

The group stopped walking in the midst of our arrival. I decided not to say a single word for I was still trying to process what had happened. I really thought I was back in the real world, having a flashback for a dream. Evidently, I was wrong. I was now curious to know who was carrying me. Soon, Leia came into view and the dialogue I recognized from the game came into play. First, Jude talked. He sounded somewhat far, so I already assumed that he wasn't the one. Afterwards, Alvin spoke. Contrary to Jude, the Exodus member sounded very close as if he was right next to me. I slowly shifted my eyes and head above me, allowing my chin to rest on a leather coat. The moment I saw dark brown locks of hair, I was convinced that it was Alvin. That would also explain Elize looking smaller than before.

"Awake, kid?" I heard the man speak without giving me eye contact.

As we started walking after Leia, who ran off, I could see the others staring at our direction. Great, I must have worried them. The last thing I remember was running after the group, then darkness. Then, a dream about my friend. I looked around me slowly, taking in the wintery town before leaning my head back on the man's shoulder. I started to shudder from the cold, but being my stubborn self, I was trying so hard to ignore the brutal cold. I didn't realize how hard it was to adapt to the climate change from one place to another.

I nodded my head silently, not saying another word to answer Alvin's question.

I feel completely restless as if the whole thing that has been going for the past few days was taking a huge toll out of me. A lot has happened. Afterwards, the others begin to talk about the slidecars. At that point, I slowly lifted my head to look at the said object from the distance. It looked really cool in person, really. No pun intended. Ha..ha..Someone throw a tomato at me, please. I wish I can ride one right now, but I know it will be later when we do. I suppose I can wait. I need to be fully awake at that time. After Rowen's explanation, my attention changed to Leia and Elize since I know what was going to happen next.

"Don't they look fun? I bet we could forever in one of those." Leia told the girl with a small smile.

Of course, Elize and Teepo both moved their heads away with their eyes closed as if they were deliberately ignoring her. I mean, she is since the young mage was feeling cold and betrayed by us. I saw the facial expression on the brunette's face, causing me to feel somewhat bad for Leia. She ended up with a look of pure disbelief. I honestly don't blame her. She was trying so hard to cheer Elize up. Even seeing that gesture of Elize's in person was enough to make me very disappointed in the girl.

"Elize...That isn't very nice." I softly chided her with my eyes narrowed down at her. I ended up being ignored the same way, making me sigh heavily in defeat.

I can't do much for Elize when I'm at this state of helplessness and restless. This is probably as much as I can do until I have my head straight in the game. Quite frankly, I refuse to accept that and that's why I will do whatever I can to support Elize with Leia. After a moment of silence, Milla proceeded on asking Yurgen about meeting the king. I don't know about everyone, but I listened into the conversation. I watched every movement and tuned in to every word that was spoken. For example, after hearing that we may need to wait a bit, Milla did a gesture with a look on her face that read that she is probably and most likely is scheming something. Right, she wanted to meet the king to talk with him about something. Since it involves her mission, the spirit isn't going to let anything get in her way. Sometimes, I really wish I was like Milla when it comes to putting important matters first beforehand. Eventually, the conversation got to the point when Yurgen suggested to rest in the inn. Jude nodded his head towards the Kitarl clan member, watching him leave the group. I tuned them out then with a heavy sigh releasing from my mouth, leaning my head again on Alvin's shoulder.

Noticing how Jude turn his body to face Alvin and I after talking with Milla, I quickly gave eye contact to him. Before he could speak, I interrupted with a serious look, "Yes, I'm fine. Do I have to go rest?"

"You just fainted earlier. You need it." Jude argued back, worrying for my wellbeing once again like last night.

"And I don't know about you since you are _very_ comfortable and everything, but I'd love to stretch and rest my back." I gave the Exodus member a deadly glare, profound at his decency to complain. "You're also very heavy. You need to lay low on the food."

"Oh HELL no!" I screamed as my face flushed from embarrassment before pounding his shoulders with my fists like a raging child.

However, it seems like my assaults were futile since he nonchalantly just started walking after Jude and the others to the inn. I was very insulted. I love food. You can never go wrong with the pairing I ship called Mia and food. Alvin better watch himself these next hours of being near me because I know what he's going to do. In fact, I probably should be hurting him right now just for the future. He is so lucky that I'm not feeling well and I'm in an emotional pickle right now. The moment we entered the inn, I ceased my poor attempts to give Alvin a beating and stayed there while the guy continued to give me a piggy back ride. I was muttering soft violent words of murderous intent solely meant for the man, but eventually, I stopped. Alvin is helping me, here and now, and I shouldn't be treating him as such. It would look bad in my part. Maybe it's because I know what's going to happen sooner or later. Maybe I am just as paranoid, especially knowing the technical future. It could be it. I just can't bring myself to be nice to Alvin at times like these. I don't think anyone can. It's a matter of what you do to make yourself suspicious...To go along with it or not to go along with it. In the end, I decided to go along the lines of the fact that he helped me here. Dammit, this is why I feel like I have a love-hate relationship with this guy.

"There you go. Now, you can lie down and sleep as long as you want." Alvin joked after helping me sit on the bed.

I guess this is how Genesis feels whenever she tries to be serious when I joke around at the wrong time. Just like how I did in the dream last night. I avoided eye contact with the man, staring only at the quiet Elize sitting on the floor across the room. It really makes me sad to see the young girl like this. Dealing with this in person is harder than I thought, but I had already resolved at the fact that I will help her no matter what. I then noted that the mercenary walked past me, reminding me that I didn't thank him yet with a wince back from my thoughts.

With slight hesitation, I turned around with a helpless look, "Th-thank you…"

Alvin simply waved his signature two finger salute for he was already lying down on the bed next to mine. I smiled meekly at his silent welcome before looking away with my head lowering down. I constantly had the dream in my mind, repeating every word Genesis had said to me about the meaning behind sapphire and the color purple. It's very weird, considering purple isn't my favorite color. It's on my top three list of favorite colors, but that is just insane. I'm willing to bet that if Genesis had seen the gem that teleported me here, she will go on a rant about the gem itself. That sounds like something she would do, and it could possibly help me understand why did it have to be the object to transport me here. I don't want anyone to be involved in my ordeals from this world. This is my mystery alone to solve.

Everyone grew silent, doing their own thing to pass the time until Yurgen comes to us. At the same time, we were resting from our long trip through the Highland. The time feels like it's around the late afternoon. It brought up the thought of how this whole thing soon is going to turn out being. I didn't know what to do at the moment, so I started observing the people in the room with me. In front of me was Jude, who had picked up a random book from this inn room. All I could see are weird designs and weird literature. Everything about the inside of the book was weird. I wanted to ask about it considering he is right there in front of me, but I decided against it. Jude somewhat reminds me of Genesis with the way he was reading the book so intently. Huh, the similarities between her and Jude are very strong...No wonder I feel closer to the medical student. Then, there is Alvin behind me. Of course, he is just lying down with his hands behind his head and his legs crosses. Leia and Rowen were on individual beds across the room. Milla is standing near the edge of Alvin's bed. The whole scenery as I remember seeing in the game. Finally, my next person to spy on was Elize. She is my main interest for concern. At this rate, that whole fiasco will begin soon. Suddenly, an idea popped up in my mind. I took out my sketchbook and pencil before standing up to quickly rush over to Elize holding Teepo.

"Hey, you want to watch me draw?"

Silence.

"I take that as a yes." I answered for her, sitting down beside the child with a bright goofy grin on my face.

Even though she was purposely looking away from me, I ignored it. I'm doing this for you, Elize. You can choose to ignore me, but that will not stop me from giving you the company you deserve. I bent my legs in front of me, allowing my open sketchbook to lean on them. The cover flag hung over my knees then as it feel like swinging back and forth for a moment. The sketchbook was opened to the page where I was last sketching for my comic before we left for the highland.

"Ooh! I want to see!" Leia cheerfully exclaimed as she got off the bed to stand beside me. She then crouched down on her knees with her arms crossed. I could feel her staring at my drawing so carefully.

I smiled briefly at her. I made sure Elize had more of a view than the brunette by moving an inch closer to the girl. Sorry, Leia. I'm doing this for the same reason you are trying to talk to Elize. I really don't want to be mean to her, and I really didn't mind an audience that is actually paying attention. This is sadly the only way for me to cheer Elize up, even if it is a tiny bit. Hearing footsteps approach me from behind, I took a quick glance to see who it was. Catching a familiar color of a white, gray, and golden boot, I dismissed the person from my mind and proceeded to begin my drawing session.

This is probably one of the few scenarios where someone would watch me draw just for the sake of watching. Most of the time, I would draw in my lonesome because I focus better like that. I know a couple friends would relate. No, I'm not used to having people watching me still and knowing that it is the characters from my favorite game watching, it's difficult. But, for Elize, I will suffer the all unfamiliar event and do my best to concentrate.

"That's really cool. You make it look so easy!" Leia commented in awe, making me pout a bit at the unnecessary statement.

That's strange. Are they actually enjoying watching me draw like this? Most people would just shrug it off and silently judge me for being childish drawing anime. Either way, the praise that was given to me by the brunette was enough to make me blush bright red like a tomato. Unfortunately, the warm feeling disappeared the moment I glanced at Elize. She is totally ignoring us...I stopped drawing at this sight with a rather sympathetic look before frowning deeply. She refuses to acknowledge our presence. A confident look striked then on my face as my brows furrow. I am determined to make her notice us!

Surprising the two watchers, I flipped my sketchbook to the very last page before sketching out lightly of an outline. The design outline was a certain flying booster doll. Time to time, I would look at my model to get an idea how I should draw him. It's hard enough because I could see him in a side view, but luckily, I remember how it looks in the front view. My sketch wasn't perfect, but rather was a sketch deemed flimsy and rather uncanny. It is difficult to draw him in the position I am, and I didn't want to move from my spot. I could hear the soft gasps of realization from Jude and Leia time to time. They probably was confused as to why I had changed pages earlier. Oops…

"Look, Elize! It's Teepo!" I happily cried out, lifting up the sketchbook to show the young mage. I smiled in hopes she would too.

Unfortunately, it didn't work.

I managed to have her glance at the sketch briefly, but the quiet one quickly dismissed it with a sour face. The poor girl… My hands lowered the sketchbook as a pouting look replaced my smile. At that moment, I realized I was losing this game of cheering up Elize and I mentally kicked myself. My motivation to continue this drawing rose immensely. I have to do this for her...Was what I kept telling myself. That's what I continued to do as time pass by slowly. I was just drawing for the entertainment of Jude and Leia while trying to get the attention of Elize at the same time. If I have my colored pencils with me, I'd color it and make it pretty to make it stand out. They should make those here, or at least, I think they already have. I just have to find them somewhere.

Fifteen minutes or so later, Yurgen still hasn't arrived and the childhood friends were still watching me. I didn't know he was going to take this long. In the game, they'd skip it and immediately go to the next scene. But, that is just like any other games when I think about it. The progress of the Teepo drawing is about half way done, I'd say so myself. Again, the process of this whole thing will be slow due to obvious circumstances.

An hour later…

Okay, what gives? An hour, really? Do you really have to take this long, Yurgen?

Finally, Leia stood up to stretch her arms out to loosen up all those tensions from crouching down for so long. I don't really blame her. My legs would hurt if I was in that position that long. I give her credit for being used to moving around a lot, contrary to a lazy person known as Mia.

The brunette lowered her arms before peering down at Elize, "Elize, wanna do some sightseeing?"

I immediately stopped drawing to lift my head to stare at the girl with a helpless look. Fear suddenly well up because of the dialogue starting. That is the mark of the whole dramatic scene with Elize. To be honest, this is the one of the things I wanted to avoid. I'm scared because I didn't want Leia to feel hurt by Teepo's words soon. My head then lowered somewhat feeling shameful due to Elize's disgruntled reaction. Quick, Mia, think!

"Miss Elize, why not join Leia?" Rowen's voice rang in my ears then.

Panic begin to increase within me as I slowly start to show how frantic I was becoming. Acting as if it was the last resort, I quickly shut the sketchbook loud enough for the others to hear. I then awkwardly raised my pencil high in the air, trying to attract the attention away from the conversation that was taking place.

"I-I'll come, too!" I managed to pipe up, still in a frantic state.

Jude started to speak slowly, peeking down at me with a half-expectant smile, "You're not really in the greatest condition to be going out…"

I shifted my attention to the medical student, giving him a pleading look, "I didn't get to step foot in the city, though. Alvin was giving me a piggyback ride, so that didn't count."

Please, Jude. This isn't the right time to be concerned for me! Let me go and let me do what I feel is right for your childhood friend's sake. Honestly, this is tough trying to make sure something doesn't go all the way downhill. While the man and I were staring down at each other in a staring battle, Leia had looked at us shortly before turning her attention back to Elize.

"Come on, Elize!" Her voice made my eyes widen in realization, blinking, and losing the staring war in the process. "Gosh, now that Teepo's giving us the silent treatment, I guess I need to pick up the slack."

As if on cue, Jude raised his fist to place it in front of his mouth while his other hand was rested on his hip. His immediate attention changed from myself to Leia, seeing how her words attracted him. He almost seem like he was chuckling under his smiling figure, "You, talk more than before? Impossible."

I stood up then, just after hearing Leia stick out her tongue at the medical student. Crap, it's almost time. I constantly were thinking of ways to avert the direction of where this is going. I don't want Teepo to say those harsh words to Leia. I would have thought that that sketch I was working on of Teepo would work, but obviously, I was wrong. I only caught Elize giving me cold glares time to time. I mean, in a way, I know that she is acknowledging the fact that I'm there. That was technically my goal in the first place, yet her sour face was still there. I want to turn her frown upside down, you know?

"Hey, just because Teepo's gotten quiet doesn't mean you have to."

However, hearing Leia's sincere words are the one thing that made me reconsider of intervening. Leia is a really kind and thoughtful girl, and I know that if I weren't being in the way, she'd be the one to by Elize's side. That alone rose another thought in my mind. Could I still be in the way since I'm acting this way? I felt like it was my goal to make Elize happy or at least make her realize that we care about her sooner. I believe that is one thing I can do for her because again - I care for her as if she was my little sibling. So, in a way, I shouldn't find this wrong to act as such. I observed the brunette's honest look on her face, making me widen my eyes.

"I'd love to learn about you, Elize, in your own words." She really is sincere when she said that, and I could tell.

At that moment, I had forgotten about my desire to intervene and smiled at her kindness. That is until…

"Shut up, Leia. You're the one holding us all back, after all."

That is until the Teepo had said the one dreaded line that served as a reminder to my once forgotten desire. Crapplecakes. My smile was soon replaced by a guilty look that faced the one that was being told that. Why, at the last minute, I had decided against it and I felt all happy inside because of Leia? How stupid can I get?! Seeing the obvious astonished face that is on Leia, my guilt quickly rose and panic once again overwhelmed me. Rowen had stood up, giving the two a stern look from afar. I became speechless and flustered at my lost opportunity that I stupidly let it bypass.

"Elize, that was uncalled for. You should apologize." Milla spoke then, approaching us from where she was standing. This is the time she had decided to move into the conversation, just like everyone else. Even though Teepo was the one who said it, it obviously was Elize's harsh thought and feelings.

Teepo is a doll who verbalizes her thoughts, and this is why she was being scolded.

"You must've really crossed a line if Momma Milla's scolding you."

I turned my head towards Alvin, noting that he had sat up just like how he did in the game with that serious look on his face. At this point, I was trying to form the right words to say. To me, I felt like it was wrong to back Elize to a corner. The child is going through something hard, and the people like us are dragging her into something else that she'd like to do. She wanted to help Teepo, I understand that. We, the older kids and adults, still worry for her. The girl doesn't realize that in this moment.

I raised my hands to wave them defensively with the guilty look still on my face, "H-Hey now! Don't be too...too..too Alvin now!"

It was the only thing I can think of to describe the mercenary. No, really, it was. What can I possibly think of in the state I'm in right now? The others were staring at me in curiosity, probably wondering why I did an outburst like that. The reason is simple. I'm trying to defend Elize for her words, even when the fault are all hers. We also need to understand that she is not in the best of moods too. I'm sure the majority of us could...right? The young girl had stood up afterwards, just in time for me to face her. Knowing what she was going to do or say next, I immediately put my sketchbook and pencil in my pouch. I then walked to Elize's front to bend down on a knee, placing comforting hands on her shoulders. Her sour look still remains.

"C-Come now! Leia is just trying to help." I had to force a smile that looked very weak and awkward. This is my one chance.

Before I knew it, Elize brushed off my hands with her shoulders harshly and turned away from us. Her narrowed eyes before she did was what froze me into worry and hurt. It was enough to furrow my brows due to my startled facial expression. On that moment right there, I ran out of ideas on what to do. Not only the girl was giving me the cold shoulder, but I swear, I see an afterimage of Chris doing the same thing. This is enough to stultify me and the memories of our fight once again repeat in my head.

"I hate you…" Elize murmured harshly. Again, it was mixed with the voice of my little brother.

"I hate Milla!" Her voice strongly rose compared to the murmur earlier, "And Leia too!"

The child started running out the door, leaving us speechless as to what happened. I had stretched my hand out for Elize without a word releasing from my mouth. At the same time, Alvin had called out to her with the question of where she was going. A deep pain in my chest tingled immensely as I slowly lowered my arm down. My eyes continued to stare at the door with a horrified look on my face. I was frozen, and trapped by a vision of my little brother running away out the door the same way Elize did. I feel absolutely hurt by those three words, and to make it worse, I heard it in the voice of two people I never thought would hear from. Finally, after a minute of hesitation and being in shock, my gray eyes softened as if accepting that that just happened. I didn't realize that it was going to hurt twice as much. Standing back up, I quietly listened as Leia said her line of the game dialogue. As for me, I lowered my head as I tried to sort my feelings out. I still couldn't believe she had said that to me. My stupid mind is playing tricks on me too. Constantly in my mind, I could envision Chris saying that over and over. He was soon joined by his twin Cody.

"Hey, snap out of it!" Leia's voice played during the vision, making everything disperse back to reality.

I winced and perked my head up to see the brunette placing her hand on my shoulder and raising her other to a ball of fist. She had a bright smile on her face, trying her best to encourage me it seems.

"Let's go, Asaya. We need to get Elize back!" I blinked at her words of confidence and her whole figure.

I watched her for a moment, noticing her obvious strong front. Of course, she wouldn't allow anything to get to her when she obviously was taken back by Teepo's words earlier. She smiles for other people, and I honestly respect that in a person. Leia has to be the most strongest person I have ever met. Here I thought Milla was strong, but Leia is strong in her own way. Eventually, I nodded my head in agreement with a determined face of my own. All of the recent bad things concerning my brothers had vanished from my thoughts, replacing it with the present. I may have failed to stall so that this wouldn't happen. But, there is still hope. I can still give my words to Elize in this upcoming event. Without sparing any minute, I followed the others out of the inn room to search for our friend. I can only clutch onto the hope that is still welling up inside me.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey guys, Izeiya here. I just want to first apologize for the wait, and see?! I told you! Don't take my word for it that I would upload it at that one week. Haha, no really, I'm really sorry. If you guys check out my deviantart, I normally do updates on what I'm doing on that website. I think of it as my own twitter. I don't use twitter because I'm too lazy to make one. So yeah, look up PManaya. I do updates on this story and other things I work on aside from my fanfic. Second, I had a bit a trouble on this chapter especially because of a main event that involves Gaius. I think you guys know what I'm talking about. w I decided to do a little...twist. And this is only part one! Buahaha! I admit at first, I planned for every single thing that happened to go in this chapter, but then I realized if I do that, the next chapter will be shorter. I had no choice but to..well, you'll see. I hope you like the ending! I'm sorry if it seems I rushed..because I kinda sorta did...Gomen.**

 **Hope ya enjoy the chapter! Leave a review and stuff! I don't bite. Really, I don't. I only throw cookies. -throws cookies everywhere-**

 **Also, thank you Admeri for the feel better comment! I feel mucho better, so no worries! ^u^**

 **Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Tales of Xillia. But my OC. My poor poor OC I seem to torment a lot.**

 **:)**

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 _ **X**_

 _ **In Your Shadow, Resurrected, With That Name**_

We ran and ran after Elize as fast as we possibly can. Kanbalar is exactly what I thought it was when it comes to being in it in person. With every footstep is a hard stomp on the frozen gravel. Everywhere I look are patches of beautiful white snow glued on the side of building walls. The scenario is pretty and everything, but unfortunately, I don't have the opportunity to stop and observe the sight. With Elize going to the place I remember she is going, I can't afford to lose my one chance.

The group and I arrived at our destination. I'm glad to know that nothing had changed in this part. It's a good thing. I don't want anything horrible to happen to anyone and myself as well. In front of us, I could see Jiao and the duo coming up. The little girl has her back facing us with the big guy at her side as if looking at her. I am honestly feeling relieved to see that she's safe. I know the giant didn't do anything like in the game, but I want to make sure. The moment they noticed our arrival, my wary eyes watched Jiao turning around to face us. I idled near Leia, seeing Jude and Milla both shift to an offensive stance.

"No reason to be alarmed. This is purely a chance encounter, nothing more." Jiao explained himself upon seeing the two switch gears.

I glanced at Jiao walking away for a moment before turning my attention to Elize, "Don't run off like that! You worried us."

The young girl didn't say a single word, and that alone made me shut my mouth. My sympathy rose slightly, exchanging eye contact with the brunette beside me. I didn't want the scene to continue. I don't know what else to say, yet I know Leia would want to apologize for earlier. I sighed heavily, bowing my head in defeat, and proceeded to take a step back. Leia's emerald eyes switched from me to Elize as she took a step forward.

"Elize, I'm sorry about before." She raised her head. Her voice is laced with great empathy, "I can't imagine how lonely you must be without the old Teepo."

Leia then put her hands together behind her, swinging her body side to side. "I know I have a bad habit of opening my big mouth without thinking. Please, forgive me."

My eyes narrowed at the child when she answered, "No."

I can't believe how cold and blunt she said it with. Leia stopped swinging around then, looking straight at her with an astonished look. She then smiled softly, "Come on, don't say that. I'll beg if I have to."

Elize finally twirled around, releasing Teepo in the process. Both of their eyes are glaring angrily at us as I was ready to embrace her dissatisfaction. Witnessing this in person is enough to make me somewhat guilty. I tried my best to be there for her whenever possible, and I was there when Teepo was taken from her. She really wants the old Teepo back, but we are stuck moving on for the sake of moving on. If that makes sense.

"I thought you, Milla, and Asaya were my friends! I hate you! I hate you!" Leia and I were taken back by her angry words. Even though those three words continue to trigger unwanted visions of my little brothers, I shook my head rapidly to brush them off of my mind. I can't allow them to overcome me. Not now.

I can't believe they are still haunting me.

"Hey now! We are your friends!" I defended desperately, furrowing my brows with worry etched all over my face.

"Can't you see we're just worried sick about you?!" Leia followed afterwards with her own defending words.

"Liar! You don't care about me at all!" I fell silent upon noticing the young girl's eyes softening, "I don't want to be friends anymore."

She began to zip right past us as I immediately turned to Leia in time to see the pure disbelief in her eyes. I was in shock and somewhat hurt after hearing that from Elize, who actually was saying that towards me as well. It's like something inside me just torn into two, and I was left being silent. As seconds pass, a sudden surge of energy brew in me. Being the first to recover and able to move, everyone else turned to follow the young girl walking away. However, I refuse to let anything else happen as I swiftly ran to the young girl's path to block it. My arms bluntly folded, giving her the most serious look I've ever mustered for anyone. Not even my brothers have gotten this deadly glare from me, yet. She really has crossed the line for me.

"Apologize to Leia. Now." I demanded sternly, looking down at her.

"Huh?" Elize muttered in astonishment with her small eyes opening. She looked rather shocked probably due to my sudden change of attitude.

"You are being extremely unfair to her and to us all." A hint of anger flared inside my narrowing eyes. "Remember when I said that we will always be there for you no matter what you say or do? We are still here because we DO care and worry about you."

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I begin to compose myself before anything emotionally drastic happens in terms of me speaking with the girl like this. After emphasizing "do", I noticed I was the one being too harsh. Momentarily, I smiled lightly at the quiet girl and eased up my hard gaze towards her. My arms unfolded as I slowly rested them at their respective side.

"Leia is trying so hard to cheer you up. And now you're saying that you don't want to be friends..and you assume we don't care…"

I lowered my head, feeling tears well up in the corners of my eyes. My voice started cracking in the middle of speaking.

"You say that you feel hurt, but have you considered your own actions?" Thank you, Rowen..

His voice came into play for I was internally relieved I didn't have to continue spouting out the words I've wanted to say. Using my arm to wipe the forming tears away, I decided that I was satisfied with this and allow myself to recover. This is what I've wanted to say so far at least because I felt the need to say it. After wiping my eyes, I looked back at Elize and finally realized that she was finally looking at me as if this is the one thing I needed to say and do to get her attention. Feeling touched by this, I couldn't stay mad and a bright wide smile replaced my frown. All of my words are to defend Leia, myself, and the others. Rather, I didn't care much for myself. I did what I wanted to do so therefore, I'm happy.

"Do you realize Teepo's words were just as hurtful to Miss Leia?"

Elize turned around then, facing away from me, "I hurt Leia?"

Jude and Leia stepped up to come closer to the small group forming, "Well, hurt is a strong word, but…"

The brunette started to fidget around once more with a smile on her face, "You took the wind out of my sails, that's for sure."

I started walking towards Elize, hearing her speak. Her voice wasn't as cold than before. I could hear the guilt in her voice, contrary to her previous angry words. Jude approached her to bend down with his hands on his knees.

"Why don't you try apologizing to her?" He asked kindly.

Elize perked her head to look up, "But, I said such horrible things."

I patted the child's head, watching her move to glance at me with curiosity, "I say it doesn't matter. Apologize nicely if you have to. Friends forgive friends, don't cha know?"

"Forgiveness is the sign of a true friend." Rowen said afterwards, making me nod my head twice in agreement with a goofy grin on my face.

Letting go of the petite's head, I watched her walk towards Leia to apologize. A smile remained on my face as I silently observed the scene. I feel like a sudden weight in my heart finally lifted, and I could breath in peace. I can finally breath! Things went well for the group's sake and my own. The two conversed, eventually hearing Teepo say his line that made Elize jump for him to cover his mouth. Despite the unnecessary words from him, this scene alone made it a bit entertaining to watch. To make things better, the reactions of Elize and Teepo after seeing the really scary smile on Leia's face just made it more entertaining. The scene is rather nostalgic to me. It somewhat reminds me of back home when I'd scold my brothers. Even though most of the time they just ignore me and everything, I know they will eventually listen to me if I smack some sense into them with their own Nerf guns. The thought alone made me sad and frown as I looked away rather sadly. I'm glad this is over, but now there is one more concern. Reality came back to me after hearing Milla laugh and the young child turned to face me. Confused at this unexpected act, I tilted my head as the girl approached me.

"Thank you, Asaya, for that drawing of Teepo. I really love it, and I want to see more of your drawings." The girl cheerfully said with a smile as her doll suddenly rammed into my face to nuzzle my cheek.

"H-Hey, stop it, you!" I didn't know whether to be surprised or flattered or even happy. Either way, I was flailing my arms around, not knowing what to do to fend myself from this sudden nuzzle attack.

Elize grabbed her rabid dog from me with a guilty look on her face before looking down in a very flustered state. Grateful that the attack was over, I rubbed the cheek and watched the child with a curious look.

"Th-thank you for everything…" She spoke softly, making me stop what I was doing and open my eyes in realization.

For the first time, something well up in me and tears once again quickly stream down my cheeks after blinking dumbfounded. Before I knew it, I took a step forward, bent down on my knees to match her height, and gave her and Teepo a tight hug. "O-Of course! I do my best! Ahaha…"

Those were the only words I manage to say during my unexpected time of feeling touched. I really didn't expect her to say that to me. Because of that, I was caught off guard. Sniffling to myself, I broke the hug and stood back up to wipe my tears away from my face again with my arm. I also didn't expect me to cry like that. Something in me just snapped. Was I touched by her words? I guess I was. Or maybe, I just didn't expect to be rewarded like that.

"There's a lesson here, child. Never take your friends for granted." Jiao suddenly spoke before walking away from us.

After the big guy is far from earshot, Jude looked at Rowen and spoke, "So what do we do now? Yurgen still hasn't gotten back yet."

"We could barge into the castle ourselves." Alvin suggested with his arms crossed.

Poor Jude sighed with exasperation, staring at the mercenary blankly, "For the hundredth time, let's not cause any trouble for Yurgen."

If anything, we're not causing trouble for him. We are going to cause trouble for all of us! I thought to myself, refraining so hard not to say it out loud due to obvious reasons.

"That's no good?" Milla started saying while folding her arms, "It sounded like a good idea to me."

Smiling and laughing at everyone's reaction nervously, I scratched my cheek with a finger. Leave it to Milla to say something like that. This is quite entertaining, though, to see in person. I'd normally would laugh my butt off, but the situation is different. When everyone recovered, we decided to go on our merry way to the castle.

Which means….

"Yay! The slidecar! Finaaaalllyyy!"

Like an ecstatic little child who has found the real meaning of life, I jumped up and down in anticipation as a cart slowly came to its destination. The place I was waiting for: The mountain slidecar platform. Aw, yes. I could feel the stares of judgement I was receiving, and I was trying my best to ignore them. The whole time, I couldn't stop myself from jittering from excitement on the way there and during the wait. It was like the more we got closer, the more of the excitement I was showing up until now. And now..we are finally walking inside one. Squee! I immediately ran to the window on the other side of the door.

"Hey, be careful now. Wouldn't want the slidecar to malfunction because someone's too hyper." Alvin's voice peaked my attention as I immediately gave him a deadly glare.

"Hush, you're still dead to me." Especially after the crap you are going to pull soon, I ended up thinking after.

I averted back to stare outside the moment the slidecar started to move. A sick feeling overwhelmed my stomach, but it was soon replaced by excitement and joy. The view is rather magnificent as if I was back to when I was falling down the sky. In this case, I wasn't falling from the sky and I wasn't scared for my life. Maybe I should be, I don't know. I'm going to be meeting Gaius after this. I don't know if I should be excited or scared, to be honest.

We got off the mountain slidecar, much to my disappointment. The line that was formed for an audience for the king was gigantic. It's super long. The thing that still confuses me is how we still pass by the guards with no problem. They are pre-occupied with residents, and other distractions, it seems. Passing the gate, we stopped at the platform before the long fleet of stairs. I constantly find myself looking back with a guilty look and looking at the others back and forth. I stopped walking to stand between Rowen and Alvin.

"Are...Are we even allowed to go through like that? People were waiting…" I said in a soft tone filled with uncertainty. My hands were clasped together behind me, feeling chills go through my entire body due to the cold and the thought of the next event.

"That's not the point of barging in, kiddo." Alvin responded in a matter of fact tone.

"Yeah, but…" I wanted to argue back for the sake of stalling once again. My body turned to the line to observe it the moment Jude spoke about it. These people won't be able to speak with the King, though.

Leia smiled, "The King really does listen to his people."

"The King of Auj Oule is well known for his charisma." I peeked at Rowen, listening intently, "It is said he unified this strife-torn country on the strength of his character alone."

I tilted my head with a light astonished look, "That's pretty impressive."

"A guy like that is sure to help us!" Leia happily exclaimed, turning her head towards Milla.

"Charisma only goes so far. If his government is secretly producing children like Elize, then he must answer for it." The blonde spirit replied with seriousness in her magenta eyes.

Then comes Elize's voice, "Thank you."

I couldn't help, but smile because of the smile on the girl's face as well as Teepo's. Good for her, she's back to the normal Elize. From my peripheral vision in my right side, I could see someone walking down the stairs. Turning my head to that direction, everyone else did the same to see the newcomer arriving to the scene.

"Sorry, we were getting antsy." Jude was the first to greet Yurgen.

Yeah Yurgen, almost two hours!

"No, this is actually perfect timing." The clan member answered then rather cheerfully.

"Are we good to go with the wyverns?" Asked Alvin, who had his arms folded.

"Yes, I got royal approval." Yurgen turned his head to look at Milla, "And something incredible happened when I requested an audience for Milla."

The said spirit tilted her head quizzically, "What is it?"

"When I told them your names, they said His Highness was looking forward to meeting you too."

Like a few people among the group, I grew skeptical. At least, pretended in my case. I tuned out the conversation with a somewhat saddened look as I lowered my head down. Allowing my thoughts to block it, I remained in my mind. I suppose it's too late now to stall and long the time before we meet Gaius. I wanted to for the sake of everyone, and myself because I don't think my heart can take another event that includes Alvin. I don't think I can take it for my own sanity. Yurgen left the group to head back to Xian Du, leaving everyone under the ray of confusion. Jude questioned if it was a trap, causing me to peek at him for a moment. Normally, I'd say a reference of some sort, but now's not really the time. Video game references can wait. I mean, their skepticism is making the air very intense. Of course, Leia continues to be positive at a time like this. At that point, my observing gray eyes caught sight of an Alvin sighing and looking away. They then narrowed in suspicion, glancing at Milla when she talked.

"Keeping secrets from us again?"

Alvin lifted his right arm, shook his head, and folded his arms once again, "Of course, I have to maintain my mystique for the ladies."

"That is such a turn off…" I deadpanned immediately, rolling my eyes before giving the mercenary a blank look.

"Ouch." He simply replied to me before rubbing the back of his head.

You have no idea how long I've been wanting to say that in person when I have the chance. I guess this is one of the great reasons of being here and not in the other side of the screen. I get to have fun in my own way, and that means messing around with Alvin. I did said that I was going to have the most interesting banters with him. Milla put on a very confused face, tilting her head to the side as I watched her with a very amused face. The duo's faces are too much right now to the point I actually started snickering to myself. She looked like she was trying to mull over what Alvin could possibly mean by that while Jude has the same blank look I did earlier. It was a complete look that read, "I'm done." Even though this scene was light and everything, I still couldn't help but think. My smile and laughter gradually faded, staring at the scene in front of me with a distinct look. Listening to Jude's explanation about what Alvin could mean didn't break my uneasiness. The bad thing is, I can't say or do anything about it. But...the urge…

"Alvin, we really need you to be straight with us."

Without turning around, the man stopped walking to answer, "Don't worry, I know you've put your trust in me."

I'm probably the only one who knows that he is just lying and is going to betray us soon. That's the sad part.

I narrowed my eyes, unsatisfied with his response that held nothing, but a lie. As far as I'm concerned, the group believes him and I'm the only one who doesn't. I know deep down, he's a good guy just like what I told him before we left to this city. It's just frustrating that there has to be that one lovable anti-hero in the group. I followed the group, walking up the stairs and inside the castle. I had to stop for a bit to catch my breath from walking and running too much, making everyone having to wait for me for a few minutes. Ugh, sorry guys, I really hate stairs. Like really. The castle is actually very cool, especially with the fountain in the middle. It's very majestic in its own way. This building somewhat reminds me of one of those ancient temples in other foreign countries. It has a nice feel...for now.

Soon, we came across two guards that is idling in front of an entrance of a very long...yes, you guessed it….a very long staircase. For the love of everything, what is with fancy areas in games having super long stairways? I absolutely am going to dread it. Actually, I ALREADY DO. The staircase in the Xian Du coliseum is the worst, though. It's pretty narrow and far-fetched as if it was made that way to make you feel very anxious. We started speaking with them as I slapped my right wrist gently with my other hand. I'm really worrying because of Alvin. I tried not to stare at him too long, so I ended up giving glances here and there. When the two guards moved to the side to allow us through, I followed Jude, Alvin, and Milla before noticing that Leia had stopped walking on her tracks. I also turned around and stopped to watch the all familiar scene. Tilting my head lightly at Rowen's reasoning, my eyes averted to the worried Leia.

"Are you sure?" She asked Elize, confirming the decision.

"It's okay." The young girl sounded very confident.

The guard behind Leia saluted, "I'll hold that for you."

I crossed my arms, watching Elize give the doll to the guard. A part of me wanted to comment and say something to Teepo. The other part of me is telling me no, since the reason is obvious. The guards doesn't know he talks and will attack after this whole fiasco. The only thing I can do is turn back around and unfold my arms before walking to the next obstacle. The stairs. Oh god, the stairs. Just like what I did in Xian Du, I clinged on to Alvin's sleeve on the way up to the throne room. He was, unfortunately, the closest person walking near me.

"Don't...question….Keep...walking." I said to him between heavy pants. i can sense him judging just by the shake of his head. I wonder how I'm so tired from these flight of stairs, but when I'm in a fight, I'm not until I realize it. I hate you, Alvin, but I need something to hold on to before I die from exhaustion.

Finally, we reached the top and I could see how spacious this place is. Walking along the red carpet and making me feel somewhat special, I could feel my hands starting to shiver immensely. I let go of Alvin in time for him to not notice I was going to. I stepped in between Leia and the mercenary, watching as Jiao appear before on our right side.

"What are you doing here?" Jude asked upon his appearance in curiosity.

The big guy slowly crossed, staring at us with his fox eyes. I still can't believe how tall and big he is in person. He's a freakin' tower!

"I am Jiao the Immovable, of the Chimeriad."

"The Chimeriad?" I thought the exact words the same time Milla repeated.

As Rowen informed the spirit who they are, I was left realizing that I had completely forgotten all about the King's little posse. My mouth opened with light astonishment. That is a name I suddenly was reminded of because I was just introduced to them in my world gaming. The whole ordeal with Exodus seems to be shadowing everything in terms of organizations. Breaking my thoughts are the sound of a giant door opening, and two people came out of it. I couldn't stop staring at the King, especially after he sat down cross-legged and peek into our souls with his magenta eyes. He is as intimidating as Milla! The next person was Wingul. Something about him just gives me the creeps, but it's probably because of his booster form in battle. i..don't think...I want to make him angry at all.

"It is a great honor to meet you, former Chief of Staff Ilbert." The advisor was the first to talk, but mostly towards to Rowen. His hand grasped his hip firmly.

"Ah, and you are the Ebon Wing of Auj Oule, Wingul the Nova." The conductor replied in the same form of greeting to Wingul.

"You must be the King of Auj Oule." Milla started speaking afterwards as I begin to shift my head back and forth to the people speaking.

"My name is Gaius, King of Auj Oule. Welcome, Maxwell."

His voice sent chills down my spine and not in a good way, too.

"You have requested an audience with the king, have you not? Now, please state your business."

"Boosters made in your country have already fallen into Rashugal hands." I twisted my head slowly to peek at Jude with a concerned look. Jude sounded...somewhat afraid. I mean, I don't blame the guy. He's talking to authority. He's talking to someone who has that really large amounts of intimidation. To that, I give him kudos. "If a war were to break out between your nations, then the results would be catastrophic for everyone."

I lowered my head, readying myself for the words of no shits are given from the King. Honestly, it kind of disappoints me that he doesn't seem to care. I guess that is one of the things that ignite the rage that is slowly brewing in me.

"Oh, and you came all the way here just to tell me that in person?"

And there it is.

"Uh, yes, your Highness…" Poor Jude. I just want to walk over to him and comfort him. I mean, I would if I'm arm length of him, but I'm not. Besides, it would be awkward even for me.

Leia took a step forward for she is the next person to speak up, "We're planning to destroy one of Rashugal's weapons. A really big one at that."

The brunette bowed her head slowly, "Once that thing's gone, we know Rashugal's king wouldn't dare declare war on you."

I closed my eyes and crossed my arms, mulling over the things that's going on. It's been months since I last played, so I'm still hazy about a couple things. Besides, I'm supposed to be very lost and I admittedly am vague on remembering certain terms. So, if I remember correctly, the Rashugal's king is that one old man. I have never seen him in person before, but I have passed the part where he was introduced. His name escapes me. It was Nigel...Nagi...Wait, no, Nick? No. I'm probably way off. Oh! Nachtigal! That's his name! Okay, so then there's Auj Oule's King, Gaius. The very intimidating man with pretty pink eyes we are talking to now. The others are still talking, and I should be listening. However, I just can't. I'm tuning out the conversation time to time. It doesn't help that a certain mercenary beside me will do something aggravating. Though, I still don't understand the different nations in this words when it comes to towns and geography. I didn't go to school here, guys. Please explain this little earthling who was kidnapped by a Great Spirit who...I believe...may or may not be Milla. My mental conversation shattered the one I was just thinking of speak. She was asking about the laboratory in Labari Hollow, the place where I first committed my first unsightly murder. My eyes suddenly widened in fear, covering my mouth to stop myself from making any noise. I turned away, holding my breath, and listened to the King respond to the blonde spirit.

"Well, I didn't see that coming." I swear I could see the King smiling for some reason. Or maybe he was smirking. "What does any of this have to do with you, spirit?"

Hey, I find that offensive. Even though I am technically not a spirit myself, I am feeling offended by his words. Finding myself able to breath from this blasphemy, I exhaled on my hand and lifted it away from my mouth. I soon glared at the king, marking that as the next step of my increasing rage. Milla put her hand on her hip and proudly announced her duty and her identity. Honestly, she never cease to amaze me.

"Really? Spirit, protecting humans? Now that is quite an interesting tale."

I protect humans, too! Um, I mean tell me about it. This plot is definitely an interesting tale, indeed. My hand continued to tremble, but more so than earlier. I don't quite understand why it is acting up like this, but I can think of several reasons why. For example, my different emotions that I'm experiencing. I'm angry because of Gaius not acting like he cares about his people and use them like tools. The line outside says otherwise. I know he does listen to them and helps, which is making me conflicted how I should truly feel about him. This whole thing just sucks! I'm scared because I am in the presence of **the** Gaius. I'm not a fangirl or anything, but just something about him downright frightens me. Everything about him screams "I'm a total Badass king." Not to mention that I feel like my life is beginning to drain from me again. I don't mean it metaphorically. I mean it, literally. I suddenly feel so...weak. After hearing Wingul's explanation that the laboratory is his responsibility, something in me just broke. Due to my running emotions bottling up within me, I find myself stepping up to raise my fists in front of me. I tried to ignore the continuous fatigue increase.

"Even when you consider the experiments 'humane', that doesn't change the fact Elize has gone through so much!" I shouted, defending the girl that I consider my own younger sister.

The eyes of everyone...I could sense them staring at me from different angles. The fact that I had finally let out a burst of anger, I could feel somewhat at ease. Though, it really doesn't help at all when it comes to this sudden drainage.

"But I…I was…" The young mage started talking, but stopped herself.

My eyes narrowed at Wingul angrily, who looked at Jiao to confirm that she was the one that they were talking about beforehand.

"She's not a test subject, either! Elize was stuck in a room by force and bullied!" At that moment, I did a second take and released a light startled gasp. As far as everyone in the group is concerned, they didn't tell me the full details about Elize. They just told me that they met in Hamil, and everything continued there. For the first time, I can admittedly say that I screwed myself over big time.

"Asaya..is right. Don't you consider that-" Jude followed with his words as I took a few silent steps back, wanting to run off to hide. The look on his face before he spoke says it all. He was surprised that I had known, yet he continued on like it was nothing. Dammit, Mia. One job! One! Job!

"Cruel?" The King finished the sentence, stinging us with those piercing magenta eyes. I gulped nervously while Jude lowered his head in agreement.

"Tell me something, you two. Have you ever considered what it takes to achieve happiness?"

My eyes opened in shock, suddenly remembering the one speech he will soon state that rendered me completely speechless. I shut my mouth, and fell silent. "To try and live a satisfying life…?" Everytime I hear that, I always think of my goal and dream to one day be a part of a collaboration between artists and writers. However, I would try to fight my parents about it because it is the one thing I want to do. That is the one thing I know will make me very happy. Happiness: I believe it is that one thing everyone wants to reach for. But, to achieve it. I don't know exactly how to do that, and that's why that question alone caught me off guard. Jude must be feeling the same way, which is why he can't really answer his question as well.

"It takes freedom to make your own decisions and to form your beliefs."

Freedom to make my own decisions...Milla is right. I looked over to the blonde spirit, and nodded my head in agreement. All this time, maybe that's what I've been trying to do? I soon looked away and closed my eyes, accepting this revelation to be the true answer. I've never had freedom, or rather, I don't even know what freedom really is yet. I'm no longer in my world anymore, and nowhere near my home. Am I finally free or..? I miss home, but whenever I think about it now, I think about all the stupid things I have to take care of because it's my obligations. It's my duty as the older sibling in the house. I think of the adorable twins, but ever since Chris has been showing up to me as if his sole goal is to torment me, I've become scarred by the thought of that demon. Then, there are his words of death and everything these past few days. My perspective of them is slowly becoming tainted by negativity. I can't believe I'm now reverting back to my own scaredy-cat self.

" _Mia."_

Great, I'm hearing my own mother's voice now. I think the exhaustion is getting to me. Then from out of nowhere, I felt very light headed and all I see now is light. A second later, I heard a booming sound from the midst of this strange event.

" _Mia Arashe!"_

I jumped at the sudden roaring of my mother's voice, who sounded extremely close. My eyes jolted open, my head perked up, and in front of me, I find myself standing in the middle of a store holding plastic bags of food items.

"Are you not listening? We're going home, I said." My scolding mother turned around to walk away. Everything I had felt was immediately replaced by utter confusion and dissatisfaction. Everywhere I look, every smell my nose picks up, and the touch of the floor I was standing on are all real. This..isn't a dream. What the hell is going on now!?


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hey guys, Izeiya here and welcome to chapter numero eleven! I didn't expect this to be shorter than the last chapter, but then again. there is a _loooooot_ of talking in this one. Sorry guys. I swear fights will be soon! I just don't know when really. The reason it took me long to update is because I was in the process of story planning for the next chapters. Not to mention work getting me tired and I had a really bad stomach flu earlier this week. I seem to be getting sick a lot lately...Darn you, change of weather. -shakes fist at the sky- So, first of all, I want to say a few things about this chapter and something to keep in mind. Again, I apologize if some characters are OOC in any way. I apologize too much when it comes to this, but I do it because I don't want to butcher any great characters in this game. Another thing is the relationship between Alvin and Mia. You'll see. There is nothing romantic going on _yet,_ but the way I see those two are siblings. I see Alvin as an older brother to Mia certain times. I do enjoy having them bicker, buahaha. And the last thing, I really hope these visions of Mia in her real world isn't messing anyone up. In fact, it is a crucial concept I implemented and I'll explain when I finish the story. IT'S ALL PLOT! PLOOOTTT! -gets hit by a mallet-**

 **Without further ado, enjoy this new chapter. Please review or favorite or follow. Or do all three! That makes an author day and happy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Xillia. Just Mia and her family. Especially her mother...Especially...the mother...**

 **Stay awesome. :)**

* * *

 _ **XI**_

 _ **Tied to Feelings I Had Forgotten**_

Severely confused, I still have no choice but to continue on this strange "dream." I followed my mother outside the store, being greeted by sunlight. The stinging heat remained the same the last time I felt its radiant glare shining down my skin. It's a complete contrast to the snowy environment I was once in, truly. Looking down after feeling like something else had changed, I noticed that I am wearing the same outfit I wore in that nightmare with Chris and I. Is this a continuation to that, I wonder? Or am I getting things mixed up again? This whole thing was starting to give me a terrible headache.

"Mia, how are you doing with homework?" I heard my mother ask after we entered our small light green sadan.

The question itself threw me off guard since she rarely asks about school or anything I do in general. Because of that, I raised a brow in confusion and tilted my head to her direction. My mother's own gray eyes stared straight with concentration as we pulled out of the parking spot. Honestly, I haven't a clue on how I should answer the question. I've been away in a totally different universe for days, and now I'm suddenly back? My mother is acting like nothing happened to me. This doesn't make any sense! A heavy sigh escaped my lips for I was refraining from panicking. It doesn't help that my heart is rapidly beating and my breathing is a bit shaky. This is hard to recover from.

"Fine..I guess." Were the only words I manage to say rather nervously.

Silence brew in the atmosphere between us. I averted my attention to the scenery passing by outside the window. The familiar town is recognizable. Everything around me that I'm touching and seeing are all too realistic. It's hard to believe that one minute I'm in the presence of King Gaius and the next, I'm here. The air conditioning is blaring on my face for it was on maximum. Typical mother doesn't like the heat, and I don't blame her. I'll stay at Kanbalar any day!

"So, there is a possibility that we are going to move by the end of your school year."

My eyes widened in shock before returning my attention back to the woman slowly, "What?"

You're kidding me…

"Your school is far, Mia. The area we are moving to has a high school in the neighborhood as well as a new school for your brothers."

"But, I like the school I'm in now! I understand it's far, but what about Cody and Chris? Do they know, too?" My voice grew louder with every word that came out of my mouth. Forget the fact I'm back in my stupid world for now. I have some things I have to defend.

My mother briefly nodded her head, "Yes, they do. Our budget isn't great right now, so we have no choice."

Money issues. We have been dealing with them from the very beginning, and how much I hate it. As soon as I open my mouth to speak, my mother interrupted me as she continued on.

"Besides, your new school has a medical program."

My eyes narrowed at her with a rather expectant look, "And you're going to enroll me in that…"

"I'm sorry, Mia, but this childish dream of yours is not going to get you anywhere. This is better, and I know you'll like it." The woman had said this so calmly with a smile on her face.

I couldn't believe this. No words can describe the utter disappointment and anger I'm feeling from this conversation. I don't want to leave my current school because it has one crucial class that I didn't think exist. It's an animation class that can be found in the same curriculum as computers. I also can't leave Genesis behind too. She is my very first best friend in high school whom I call my troublemaker buddy in class. We haven't known each other for very long, yet I feel a strong connection between us. She and I were going to dominate the world together with our creative feat. I don't want to feel sad and paranoid that our friendship will wither away the moment I move. I'm also worried for Cody and Chris. I don't think any child should have to go through getting to have friends for so long, and will suddenly move away from them. It's like they have to start all over as well as myself. I know it may just be me, but the thought of them facing that situation is heart-wrenching. Now, my parents want to put me in a program I'm not very much interested in because they feel that it is better? This is forcing me into something I don't want to be involved in! My mouth pursed to a deep frown, looking down in thought. The hands on my lap started to shake immensely due to anger. This same feeling reminded me of something earlier before a low gasp of realization released from my mouth.

" _It takes freedom to make your own decisions and to form your own beliefs."_ Milla's voice rang in my head constantly.

My own decisions…

I perked my head up, staring at my mother with a determined look, "There has to be another way, Ma. I understand that my school is far, however, THIS is what I want to do!"

"You don't understand! That's the problem!" Uh oh, she started using her mom voice. I felt a bit intimidated by her tone until I remembered Milla again.

It's unbelievable (and possibly sad to say), but this is nothing compared to all the times I've been in trouble. I have gone through something so scary and life-threatening multiple times. Not to mention, I had killed someone. This shouldn't be nothing by now, and yet...I'm wavering.

"What about the twins, then?! Do you expect them to be prepared to separate from their friends at school? They have a year of elementary left, and what if they want to go to the same middle school as them?"

"What are you trying to say?" My mother asked, looking somewhat startled for some reason. I saw a glimpse of her surprised face when she turned to me for a moment. She sounded more confused than angry this time. The car turned to a driveway I recognized as our own. Noticing we are arriving home, my eyes stuck on my mother before looking forward with my teeth grinding.

"Do you not realize how much strain this will affect your own children?!"

After screaming those words, my vision suddenly started to become blurry. My mother's mouth moved, probably to answer my question, and yet I couldn't hear a single word coming out of it. All of my feelings of anger and hatred ceased and soon was replaced by confusion. My whole body feels light before it was pushed back like an ocean wave impacted me from the front. I tried to move and scream, but nothing seemed to process the way I wanted it to. It vaguely reminds me of one of those sleep paralysis experience at night. The only exception is that I wasn't sleeping..Or at least I think I wasn't.

Everything around me turned blank once again. Feeling like I've been floating through nothingness, my body finally hit a stop. Soon, I faintly hear familiar voices ringing in my ears. Chills ran through my body when I came to for the cold was enough for me to slowly open my eyes. When my eyesight calibrated itself, I found myself looking straight at a dark ceiling.

" _This is just the beginning, Mia Arashe."_ This voice...This is the same voice that greeted me when I arrived here!

I gasped loudly at this realization, fully waking up from whatever had happened to me. It was a dream? That whole conversation in the car with my mother was all a dream? Why did it felt so real? I shifted my attention around me, struggling to sit up. Leia is kneeling down right beside my body that is lying on the ground. The brunette looked to be staring at something at our right side, making me turn to see what it was that got her attention out of curiosity. It led me to a sight of Alvin walking towards Wingul. My eyes widened, remembering this is when he will answer where the key was. Just my dumb luck...I must have fainted in front of the King and everyone. How embarrassing. So, the voices I was hearing earlier must have been the group begging the mercenary not to tell. Well, begging isn't the right word to describe it. It was more like trying to stop his stupid self.

"Sorry guys. I'm just doin' my job." Other than that voice earlier that woke me up, this was the first clear words from the group after regaining consciousness. I don't like it.

Startling Leia, I struggled to push myself off the ground and murmured softly, "Alvin, don't…"

With the girl supporting me by putting her hands on my shoulder and arm to hold me up, I started to close my eyes while bearing this unexpected and excruciating pain, "Please don't!"

Leaning on the girl after my outburst, I opened my eyes and strained them towards Alvin. Gah, all of this is making my head hurt. From one ridiculous scene to another, it's annoyingly painful for my taste. I saw the traitor hesitating for a moment before doing his usual two finger salute gesture. In that moment, I saw him and I locking eyes until he turned around to face Wingul. I felt like I was brought back to life, so what can I say or do? I don't know what had happened. All I know is my head terribly stings and I just want answers if my mind is tricking me or not. Why is this happening to me? I hung my head down in defeat, acknowledging the fact that even I had failed to stop Alvin.

"Alvin. Who did Maxwell entrust the key to?"

"The handmaid Ivar. He's probably sulking back in Nia Khera as we speak."

Damn it all, Alvin! Is there anything I can do right?! Standing now ever so slowly, the brunette continued to support me by wrapping her hands on my shoulders. I find myself slightly leaning on her once again before perking my head up to glare mercilessly at the idiot ahead of us. If it wasn't for that stupid person who sent me to this world messing with my head, I would be focusing on stopping him myself. I actually had planned to attack Alvin from behind, but that would most likely trigger another vision. A moment later, a door opened and all eyes including myself looked over to the source. Presa revealed herself for the first time to me as she ran over to the King hurriedly. She then froze on her tracks as soon as she saw Alvin with a look of bewilderment.

"Al, what are you doing here?!" The cat person lady exclaimed with confusion.

The man responded with a hand on his hip and the other waving at the woman, "Hey, Presa. Long time no see."

She remained staring at him, obviously confused on what to do until the King asked what she needed. Rather, a simple 'What is it?'. The woman seemed very conflicted due to our presence. Presa shifted her attention from the King to us back and forth.

"Ignore them. Give your report." The King once again spoke, not even giving her eye contact. The only person other than us was Jiao and Wingul, who was looking towards her. I find it funny how the King just stands there, staring down at us. Menacingly. Come on, Gaius. Stop acting all cool and stuff.

"The Rashugal Army has invaded Hamil." And now, I see his magenta eyes glancing towards her. I briefly noticed it until I was shocked after hearing the news. I had completely forgotten about that. For the first time, I was legitimately reacting truthfully to something I had already known. I guess having too many mind trips can do that to you. I still can't help but wonder why would they attack a small village like Hamil. It seems kind of random…

"What did you say?!" Rowen piped up in disbelief.

Presa continued informing us, "I'm afraid the casualties are high. Those not killed were captured. They were then sent to Rashugal."

She paused for a moment, "We also found evidence that the power of a Great Spirit was used upon the village."

My mouth slowly opened and spoke softly, "What...?"

I don't know why, but I have a gut feeling the reason why I had felt weak earlier was because of that Great Spirit. I'm either being paranoid or self-conscious, though. It couldn't be because I was in that weird dream. My weird dream that I was back in my world has to be another consequence just like those times when I faced Chris. That must be it...I glanced to the side where Milla is, seeing the obvious startled look on her face. My mouth closed immediately, feeling empathy for the blonde spirit while the King was speaking.

"Impossible. I would have known if the Four Great Spirits had been released." Milla began to speak before raising her head, "Could it be the Lance of Kresnik…? Is it possible that Nachtigal had made a new key?"

My god, the tension in this room just increased heavily!

"If that's the case, then we're declaring war. Send word to all the clans." Gaius ordered with such urgency, "I am going to crush anyone who dares to harm my people!"

The King walked away before I shifted my head to Wingul just in time to see him looking straight at us. The guards surrounding us, including the one holding Teepo, started to step closer and closer towards us. "Well then, we will no longer the need for the likes of you."

My hand started wavering again in fear, not knowing how I should respond to anything. Leia had let go of me, probably noticing that I'm alright now. I am feeling better physically, but mentally no. It has gotten worse actually. "But, if His Highness were to have the Spirit Maxwell as his captive, even the unruly clans would be forced to bend their knees."

I looked at my side after hearing the sound of a weapon clanking near me. My gray eyes widened in astonishment as I took a step closer to Leia. The guards has us trapped, but I fell at ease upon remembering the next thing that is going to happen. If I remember correctly, Elize will be asked by Rowen to initiate our escape.

Unfortunately...That didn't happen.

Footsteps approached us from my general direction, causing me to spin my head towards the source. Next thing I knew, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side away from everyone else.

"Wh-What the…!?" I ended up crying out with confusion written all over my face. That was soon replaced by pain once again, feeling how tight the person's grip was. When I looked to see who the culprit was, my eyes grew large at the sight of a serious Alvin. Words cannot comprehend what I am feeling right now.

"Let's not forget my side of the deal. You get Maxwell, and I get Miss Pseudo Spirit here." The smirk never left his face when he said those words. I noticed the hesitation in his voice when he was referring to me with such a name. It was as if he was trying to figure out what to call me by. Anger rose within me as I glared at the Exodus member with such hatred.

"You traitor…" I sneered in an angry tone. I squeaked in pain when he pulled my arm harder this time.

The man was grinning at me mockingly, much to my dismay, "Settle down, kid. Don't want to hurt anyone now, right?"

I clicked my tongue, releasing an annoyed grunt as I moved my head away from him. He knows as much as anyone that my emotions affect my power, which is why he said something irritating like that. He moved us back, so we could see the guards surrounding the others clearly. Dang it, Alvin. I'm starting to really regret saving you from those Exodus members back in Labari.

"Very well." Wingul simply said, nodding his head in agreement at us before turning to the others.

This...is not...part of the script. And why isn't Rowen and Elize doing anything?! At this rate, they will be captured for sure! A sudden realization hit me when I caught a glimpse of Rowen looking at me back and forth with worry in his eyes. Beyond everyone else's look of worry and shock, I can see the conductor hesitating. Was I the reason why he isn't doing anything? They don't want to leave me behind...No, this isn't right. That alone just makes me feel like I'm getting in the way again and I don't want that. I don't want to change the course of things like this!

"What are you waiting for?! Get out of here!" I began yelling from frustration, struggling from Alvin's grip in the process even though I know it's futile. All of the emotions from the conversation with my mother to now gave me the strength to finally scream. "Don't worry about me! I'll be fine! Please!"

I practically am begging at this point, staring at Rowen with a confident look in hopes he understands my underlying message. Before long, I saw him speaking to Elize and the sound of the child waking up Teepo echoed the room. A smile of relief formed on my face as I begin to pant slowly from exhaustion. Thank you, Rowen...The others all attacked the guards and escaped just like they did in the game. Seeing Jude turn his head back when he was running away, I already knew what could be on his mind. Quite frankly, it is the same thing that is on my mind as well. The man in question was waving his other hand lightly at their departure while hearing Wingul orders to capture Milla and Elize. The guards ran after them as soon as I started to feel my head spin.

Placing my hand on my lowering head, I closed my eyes for a moment to register all the events that had happened. We met with the King, and coincidentally enough, I had blanked out. It's still unbelievable. That conversation with my mother earlier...And this happening..Stupid traitor Alvin.

"How long are you going to sleep? Come on, we have somewhere to go." Alvin's voice once again brought me back as the grip around my arm loosened.

This alone surprised me, causing me to open my eyes. Seems like everyone else had gone and left to pursue Jude and the others when I was re-evaluating all that has happened. The mercenary started walking nonchalantly towards the direction we came from with his hands in his pockets.

"Wh-where are you taking me?" I spoke in an uncertain tone, now following behind the man closely.

One would immediately run away if they were in a situation like this, but this is Alvin. He was once traveling with us, and he had gone back to the others after this whole fiasco. But, things seemed to have changed because I am here. Maybe he'll be nice and not take me to Exodus? I started hoping, but because of the man's silence, I'm starting to become very uncomfortable. I don't know what to expect now.

"Who knows? I'm supposed to take you to Exodus, but somethin' got me curious." He finally answered, making me lift a brow as the both of us proceeded down the stairs.

So he WAS going to take me to Exodus!

"Curious?" I repeated slowly, looking up at him with my head tilting to the side.

He simply shook his head while lifting his arm up as if shrugging, "The others might have caught on. How do you know about Elize?"

Taken back by his words, I released a rather loud high-pitched sound that could be mistaken as a mouse squeaking. Again, the urge to run and hide to avoid answering the question came back. Before I started to fluster while thinking of a lie, my thoughts landed on something completely different to the topic at hand. Quickly relaxing myself, I ran down the stairs to the mercenary's side so I can have a closer look at his face to read his reactions.

"Why are you concerned for Elize after betraying everyone like that? And why are you not doing your job?" I stared at him straight at his eyes, somewhat demanding a clear answer. I'm doing the impossible. Why would anyone normally have a conversation when they are with their attacker?

"You're dodging the question, kid."

"So are you!" I scowled angrily at him through gritted teeth.

The more I talk to the guy, the more confused I feel about him.

He 'tched' and rubbed the back of his head, "Just be glad I'm not completing the job."

I huffed my cheek in annoyance and folded my arms as we walked to the door of the castle. It didn't take long for us to leave the building since Alvin was walking in a really quick pace. I was just trying to catch up to him most of the time. When we exited, I could see more guards running around the plaza and out to the city. Worry overwhelmed my entire being for the others, even though I know that they are probably fighting Wingul and Presa by now. I should be running to check on them, or even help them, but I'm afraid Alvin would stop me somehow. Besides, I am very curious about what he could be thinking of. I'm soft, I know. But, this guy is still considered a friend to me, even though he is a complete big fat liar in Teepo's words. I hate to neglect the others, but I will risk following Alvin for now. I mean what i said that he is a good guy deep down back at Xian Du. We again walked down a series of stairs. I guess I didn't feel too lazy or inclined to cling on to Alvin like I usually do. Though, with what has happened, it should be understandable.

I let out a heavy sigh as we approached the ready and available mountain slide car, "It's not so much that I should be glad, but rather very confused."

"Huh?" Alvin responded, dumbfounded as we entered the transportation car.

I leaned on the side carefully with my back on the window, facing the mercenary across from me. My arms remain folded as I lowered my head down while speaking softly, "I don't understand you, Alvin."

I glanced up at him with a serious look, "You do things for yourself, but at the same time, you suddenly care for other people." I paused, unintentionally raising my voice, "Are you a good or bad guy? I just don't get you!"

Silence brew in the slidecar between us after I had finally snapped and proceeded to glare at the man straight in the eyes with completely rage.

"Make up your damn mind already!"

"Well, aren't you in the same boat as I am...Mia?"

My eyes opened in complete shock after hearing him call me by my real name. The doors opened, and Alvin was the first to exit the slidecar. I soon followed after him with hard stomps of angry footsteps.

"Wha..What do you mean by that?!" I demanded furiously as I walked alongside him, staring at him. His serious look remained the same.

"You're obviously hiding something from everyone. And as far as I'm concerned, I've never heard of an Eternal Wellspring Gem."

I didn't want to admit that he is right, but the fact that he had called me by my real name and even bothered to question the existence of the gem left me speechless. I have no choice, but to stand for myself too. Alvin and I had been arguing ever since we left the castle. I never thought I would have this sort of argument with him right now. I also had a feeling that he is trying to resurface that Elize question. Not knowing how to respond to such a statement, I frowned and lowered my head down.

"I..I just have hunches about things, that's all. I'm hiding nothing." I flustered, completely having all bad feelings disappear in a moment.

"About the gem? Doesn't seem like you know anything about it, either." Alvin deadpanned as I looked away with uncertainty written all over my face.

"See, Mia? You're hiding something." The man said with mockery through his grin.

"Don't interrogate the interrogator! And don't call me by my real name, damn it!" I stomped my foot with frustration before immediately hushed by the mercenary. This completely shut me up as the thought of why the sudden hush came to mind.

Before I knew it, Alvin gently shoved me to the side near a wall. I realized then that he was trying to hide me behind it from something. I could hear other voices ahead, and that's when I came to the conclusion that there were people ahead. The thing that bothers me is how the guy was protecting me? Or at least, it seems like it. This is exactly what I'm talking about. In order to stick with the man's "plan", I planted myself on the wall like a ninja and moved near the mercenary to communicate with him.

"Seems like the others manage to get away." Alvin whispered low enough for me to hear. He was leaning coolly on the wall with his arms folded.

I rolled my eyes after hearing this piece of information, "There you go again, worrying about them."

In my head, I was cheering with pom poms flying around.

The man released a 'Tch' sound, leaning his head away from me. I couldn't help but smile at the state he is in now. Alvin is really being completely dishonest with himself. He isn't doing his duty, but instead, was worried for Jude and the others. Soon, guards from the castle pass us with their readied weapons. I tried my best not to exchange eye contact, so I lowered my head down shyly to avoid doing so. I don't know why. I just felt because they know I'm being kept hostage that I should at least act like it. Maybe Alvin and I really are in the same boat in terms of dishonestly and sticking out for myself. It's still unbelievable how he noticed these things. When the guards are nowhere in sight, I slowly looked up at Alvin and could see he was pre-occupied with something. The frown he has on, and the glaring look. Not to mention, his whole body language says so. My eyes softened at this Alvin sympathetically.

"You really ARE considering going back to them, huh?" Were the only words I find myself saying to the man, emphasizing my only assumption.

Again, I know that he will return to the others in Xian Du. Their trust for him though would greatly falter due to his actions earlier. He was probably thinking that the entire time he was talking to me. However, that is just my wishful thinking. After the wyvern riding, arriving to Sharilton, and then to Fennmont, everything to me is going to be completely new and different to me. I don't know what is going to happen like I don't know what could possibly be on Alvin's mind right now. All I could really do is hope and pray all goes well. The man didn't give a response or show a reaction to my statement, causing me to believe that I was right. Seeing how he hasn't budged, my lips pursed to a deep frown and narrowed my eyes at him.

"Alvin, this is your call now." The man finally moved his head towards me with a rather startled look, "I'm supposed to be your target or hostage or whatever I am. What you do now, I will have to oblige and I say that only to you because you're my friend. I know you won't put me into any trouble, will you?"

He lightly gritted his teeth after hearing my confident words, looking down with his brown eyes. The poor man seems to be wavering and conflicted on what to do. I'm the one pushing him to hurry up and make his decision. He then looked towards me as I was astonished by his struggle to show his true feelings just by the look in his eyes. They are straining with uncertainty, yet anger.

"'' _Out of all the things I can't be honest about',_ right _?_ " Alvin had repeated those words I had said to him in Xian Du. I fell into complete shock as I widened my eyes in disbelief. I couldn't believe that he actually remembered that. Suddenly, my stomach was soon attacked by his elbow as I bent my body forward while releasing a small choking sound. Alvin's shoulder rammed into me, and I then found myself draped over it. I struggled to move once again, and for a moment, I had lost consciousness before coming back. It was a weird sensation.

"You're beginning to piss me off, kid. Worry about yourself for once." The anger in his voice was strong, but I ignored it.

It isn't my fault that I put others before myself, you jerk.

My eyes begin to close slowly, wondering to myself how many times is someone going to take me out like this. I'm starting to become very annoyed by how weak I was. It's a good thing that's the least of my worries. I could feel movement and the sound of snow crunching beneath me. Alvin is walking?

"Thanks for your help with getting the girl." Alvin's voice rang then, leaving me confused when he stopped walking.

A moment later, he proceeded walking again in a somewhat quick pace. I assumed he was talking to the Chimeriad members. I managed to open my eyes through my worn out state and perk my head slowly at the mercenary. The hostility in his eyes no longer was present, much to my relief.

"We are going to say hi to our friends. Don't worry, I won't hand you to Exodus."

Despite the seriousness in his voice, I sense no hostility behind those words and the tone. It was almost as if he had made up his mind.

I smiled cheerfully, "I knew you'd come around…"

So, the fact he knocked me out is to put on an act in front of Presa and Wingul.

"To be fair, I don't get you too. How can you still be smiling after everything seems to be bad for you?" The man questioned as my smile was soon replaced by a dumbfounded look on my face. A bitter smile then formed, tilting my head away from him.

"I wonder that myself. Aren't you the same?"

Alvin didn't respond, and simply kept walking in silence. It's hard to admit, but maybe...Both him and I really are in the same situation. As much as I hate being in the same pit as this traitor, the truth is enough to light a certain revelation. My family is gone...Yet, I'm starting to see another in my new friends. It's sad that the horrible feelings from back home is beginning to resurface.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm back again! See what I mean? No? Okay...**

 **-walks away-**

 **Next Chapter: _Each Time I Call You, You Twist_**


	12. UPDATE!

_Hey guys! Sorry, this isn't a chapter but this is an update from me. November is National Novel Writing Month. (NaNoWriMo) I'm sure some of you have heard of it and if not, this is what it is. For the whole month of November, one participating will have to write until they reach 50,000 words. I may be missing more details about it, but that is all I know. Google it. It's pretty interesting and sounds like fun, if you ask me. Soooo...I am here to tell you that I will be doing that, but by my own way. Fufufu..I find NaNoWriMo to motivate me and inspire me to continue writing, so with that said, I will be focusing on Forget-Me-Not for the month. I apologize for not posting lately, and it's due to things happening in life and work. I haven't been sick, I just have things going on so please I ask to bear with me. I will do my best to fulfill the requirements for this month event. I've always wanted to be apart of this, so gosh darn it, I will do my hardest!_

Stay awesome. -Izeiya


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey guys, Izeiya here bringing you the official 12th chapter of _Forget-Me-Not!_ For those who doesn't know, I am going to do my best to achieve the 50k words NaNoWriMo event going on this month! Starting from this chapter, I am going to be putting down the word count of every chapter (not including the author's note) at the end. That way I can keep track of the word counts and add them up later at the end of the month. Wish me luck! I will definitely do whatever I can do make it! And if I don't...I may be feeling like a total failure at the end of the month and be kinda..depressed. Ahaha..**

 **Anyway, I apologize for the long wait. I don't mean to be updating so slowly, but it can't be help with life. I hope you guys enjoy more Alvin and Mia bantering in this chapter. I also...kind of rushed a bit in the end. Again. lol'' I'll see you in the next chapter!**

 **Stay awesome~ :)**

 **Edit: I pulled a baddie. I really need to learn how to reread and edit for my sake.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Tales of Xillia cast or the game itself. I just own my very clumsy and caring OC who doesn't know when to be anymore awkward.**

* * *

 _ **XII**_

 _ **Each Time I Call You, You Twist**_

The walk through the Mon Highlands was filled with awkward silence for the most part. Ever since Alvin and I left Kanbalar, the both of us had been keeping to ourselves. Not a single guard can be seen, and not a single moment in my mind was occupied by positive thoughts. The mercenary had put me on the ground as soon as we left the snowy town. My hood shadowed my face, covering my hair and making sure the snow isn't bothering my eyes. I watched the snow passed by my crunching footsteps as I replayed what had happened in my mind like a broken record. The thing that annoys me the most is the conversation in the car with my mother. At that very moment, I felt like I was back and it still confuses me. My parents are thinking of moving to another area next year because of a stupid reason like that? A part of me is saying that that can't be true just like those events with the demon Chris. However, deep in my heart, I have a feeling that that reality I temporarily experienced is real. That's what pains me.

"Hey! Reize Maxia to Mia!"

I gasped softly after hearing my real name being called once again by no one other than Alvin himself. My head lifted to look at the man before me with curiosity in my gray eyes. He is a few steps ahead of me. I could see his own brown eyes looking back at me on his stern face. It seems to me that he has been trying to get my attention for a while.

I raised a brow, unsatisfied at the fact he referred to me as such, "Would you please quit calling me that?"

Alvin turned away from me and shrugged, "No one's around to hear. Besides, you just don't want the others to know. I don't see a problem calling you that when they are not here."

…..He does have a point.

A sigh escaped my lips, not knowing how to respond to his reasoning. I decided not to say anything else about the matter as I curtly lowered my head away from him. Mia Arashe: The one thing about myself that I am certain is real. This whole reality alternation is beginning to screw with me mentally. I have a goal now to continue this adventure and that is to find the truth about _everything._

"So…Do you want to take a break for the night? It's getting dark." Alvin asked very awkwardly.

"You're not going to hurt me or do anything funny, right? I still don't trust you after that whole fiasco earlier." I deadpanned coldly, staring at him with a blank look. Of course, that last part I was kidding.

"What!? No! Why would I do such a thing to such a refined innocent pseudo spirit like you?" Even though the man was flustering with his words, I could hear the sarcasm in his sneering voice. I could also sense the double meaning behind them. This left me unfazed for my blank look remains.

"I'll tell Milla on you if you do, you sick pervert."

Alvin chuckled under his breath as a wave of light relief overwhelmed my whole body. I don't understand it myself, but hearing the mercenary laugh sincerely like he is now is a bit reassuring. A smile slowly crept across my face. I established to myself way before this that he is a good guy, so I do trust him. That's my final decision.

"A place to rest for tonight sounds like a good idea. I take it you know where?"

The man nodded his head before sharply turning to the right. The small smile remained on my face as I followed him with my hands together in front of me. The blizzard is starting to pick up very quickly and chills are all over my exposed skin. Dammit all, I didn't realize that this light outfit of mine is enough to shiver my way through the snowy terrain. I mean, I suppose it's a given either way. Wrapping my arms around myself and trembling by the cold, I did my best to stay close to Alvin. Due to the blizzard, my vision is hazy. The sun is setting too, so it's going to get even colder anytime soon. Eventually, the sight of a cave entrance appears before us. Oh thank goodness!

The both of us entered the dimmed lit cave. The lighting outside made it somewhat better for us to see the inside. Unfortunately, we don't have time until it turns completely dark. The cave is spacious, yet small enough for the both of us to be in here. We wasted no time to pile everything we need to make a fire as well as our bedding. Well, my bedding. I demanded him to get something for me so I don't sleep on solid ground. He doesn't mind sleeping on the ground, but I do, dammit! Alvin decided to ruin Mother Nature's child known as tree by stealing a couple leaves and shake the snow off. I was surprised he actually agreed to do it for me. I, on the other hand, cheated and used a small fire arte to create the campfire. I don't know how to make a fire with rocks and branches. When I go camping with the family, my father was the one to do that while I watch or play with the twins. Once we were settled, I immediately dropped on the makeshift leaf bed that Alvin made. It isn't comfortable, but it will do for now. Sitting on my knees, I scooted closer to the fire with my hands up to warm it. My shoulders eased from the pure bliss of the heat. Alvin was lying on the ground with his body straightened out and his hands resting behind his head. He seemed to be in deep thought as he stared at the ceiling.

My eyes softened at this sight before looking down as well. I don't know how to start a conversation for once around him. It isn't because he basically betrayed everyone's trust. I'm over that, actually. It's just that it is very awkward being alone with him, especially it's hard to think about one thing. I have gone through so much that I even lost track of the days.

"Hey Alvin?" I started calling out to gather the mercenary's attention in a soft voice. The sound of shifting can be heard, signaling that he was listening. "Why does Exodus want me? Why am I being referred to as 'Maxwell's pawn?'"

I might as well start gathering information while I'm around an Exodus member that I know wouldn't do me any harm. For a moment, I could sense Alvin staring at me. My eyes continued to look down with my hands dropping on my lap. For some reason, I feel very depressed. It's rather unusual for me, but in a way, it's also a given. No one doesn't like to know that you have done absolutely wrong for an organization to sought for you. It's sad to say that I don't feel welcome, but as time passes, I've grown to…care just a tad bit.

"If Exodus isn't able to capture the queen, they will go for the princess." The man simply answered nonchalantly.

My eyes narrowed, staring blankly at the fire upon hearing the rather metaphoric response, "So…I'm a princess, then?"

"You're not. It's a way of saying that you are nothing more than a replacement for when their plan doesn't work out well. You are literally a pawn." The way he said that sent chills down my spine. It almost sounded so bitter as if he really didn't want to say those words. I finally looked at him with astonishment all over my face, baffled by his reply and tone. I fell silent, having a mental debate with myself.

As much as I wanted to _calmly_ ask what the plan consist of, I also didn't want to listen to that bitter tone again. I admit, it was a bit frightening. With a heavy sigh, I came to a conclusion that I'll ask another time for when things have calmed down around us. He must be mentally exhausted as much as I am. I'd think so when a pest such as myself is constantly bothering him. Heh, who am I kidding? He asked for it. Many possibilities played in my head. Are they trying to kill me because I'm an abnormality in this world? Is it because I'm a pseudo spirit? Why would anyone want a false spirit like me?

"Honestly, I don't understand it myself." Alvin's voice suddenly interrupted my thoughts.

I only replied with a confused, "Huh?"

The mercenary then shook his head as a way of telling me not to worry before he rolled over to the other side. His back is now facing me. "Never mind. Good night, kid."

I blinked, "Good…night?"

Before me, the fire crackled in the night. My head turned away from looking at the mercenary to glance at the flame in thought. The only thing I can think of doing is stay away from Exodus obviously. Maybe I'll understand someday, and I really hope it isn't anything too horrible. However, I can't help but wonder about something important.

If I do find that Eternal Wellspring Gem, would I have the heart to leave everyone behind here?

Ah, it's too early to think about that, but still...Closing my eyes slowly and allowing the fatigue take over, I slowly fell to my side on the "bed." I soon drifted off to a dream world of absolute nothingness.

The next morning came. I woke up to the smell of burnt wood and the sound of hard wind blowing through the cave. The leaf bed is now starting to itch me as I sneezed myself awake. Opening my eyes, I find myself looking straight at the smoking wood before me. The fire must have died out after keeping us warm last night. Weird, I would have felt it dying out since I'm a light sleeper. Then again, I haven't been sleeping well lately so I guess I must have slept hard last night. Moaning from my tired state, I slowly rolled over to the other side before pushing myself off the ground with my hands.

"Hey, Alvin…you awake?" I groggily asked in a soft voice before rapidly shaking my head to wake up.

No one seemed to answer, causing me to shift my head towards the direction I last saw the mercenary. My eyes soon opened at the realization that not a single Alvin can be seen. I was alone in the cave.

"Alvin? Alvin!?" I frantically started to scream as my heart started to beat rapidly from this sudden event. Due to the cave entrance, I could still see just enough of the inside of the cave to know what's present thanks to the light. Nothing of the ordinary that belonged to the brunet is visible.

"Did…Did he ditched me?" I questioned out loud, feeling hurt at this possible conclusion. After all the things I did and said to that guy…I poured my heart to every single word and action! Standing here and trying to wrap my head around the fact he isn't here, the feelings of anger, hurt, and even fear begin to creep inside me. This is the worst thing anyone could have done to me..! After clutching my hands to small balls of fist, I narrowed my eyes at the wind blowing entrance before running towards it.

"Alviiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnn!" I screamed angrily at the top of my lungs…only to be interrupted by bumping into something and falling down on my behind in the process.

"Whoa, hey! What's the hurry, kid?"

The sound of that familiar voice attracted my attention, immediately making me look up with a face filled with sadness and relief. I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes at the view of a very confused mercenary. The fact that he didn't exactly leave me behind put me at ease, and for the first time ever, I feel very glad to be around someone deemed as a traitor. I sniffled once before leaning forward to hug his leg.

"Don't disappear like that again! Waaah!" I clinged on to him tightly as I continued wailing loudly.

"Wh-What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Needless to say, Alvin has experienced an episode of an emotionally deprived Mia.

* * *

A few hours later, we arrived to the cave path that connects Xian Du and the Mon Highlands. I was very happy to know we were back in a town that isn't snowing anymore. It was fun while it lasted. I love the different climate and everything, but when it is associated with something like running away from the King in Jude's group perspective and bad things happening to me, all good feelings about a very great thing loses all meaning. The entire time walking here, Alvin and I were quiet. I have my reason – I just showed a very pathetic side of me that not even my family has seen yet. How embarrassing! The mercenary is probably still judging me even when I repeatedly apologize and explain that I tend to act like that when I'm half asleep. That's obviously a lie. I really was very stressed and tired. You know that whole ordeal when you fall asleep and wake up thinking that you're going to be late for school, but there isn't any class because it's the weekend? That's caused by stress. Stress!

….I'm an idiot.

The thought of meeting with the others came to mind as I flinched in realization. That's right. After this passage, the group will be seen talking to Yurgen. That is if they are still there. Alvin and I ended up sleeping in a cave for the night. What if they already left with the wyverns?! My face gradually turned grim at the thought of being left behind again with Alvin. I'd have to be stuck with this smartass forever! Eventually, the both of us grew closer to the end of the path as my curious eyes glance up to see the truth. Seeing a familiar group appear in out view, a bright cheerful smile crept across my face. Yes, the story is continuing!

"There they are! Let's go say hi!" I exclaimed with excitement, tucking his sleeve impatiently like a child.

Alvin looked down at me with a stern look, "Not so fast. Remember, they think that I took you to Exodus."

"Oh..right.." I responded, looking down in disappointment as I remembered that whole scene in Kanbalar. Letting go of his sleeve, I slowed down my pace to walk behind the mercenary unintentionally. What am I supposed to do then? Stay quiet and wait for things to fly by as they come? How many times am I going to not do something because of fear or even second thinking?

"No need to rush off." I suddenly heard the brunet say, making me freeze completely behind him. The man is shielding me, so the others wouldn't know I'm here yet. The man lifted his right arm to wave at them after Jude cried out his name. I then took a step forward and to the side to peer from behind him, waving meekly at the others.

"I'm here in the flesh, too…" I sheepishly spoke with a nervous laugh, half joking in case they think I'm hurt or dead.

"Asaya! You're okay!?" The medical student exclaimed for I heard the relief in his voice. It feels so great hearing my alias name again. It's weird how I prefer that name over Mia in this world. For some people, it would be the other way around, right?

I nodded my head as a silent answer before joining the others by standing beside Rowen as we observed Alvin. He approached the others while I shifted my arms behind me to intertwine hands. I tried my best to contain my need to express my worries and fear for now.

"They're on a wild-goose chase in the mountains right about now."

"S-Still…" I added, uncertain if I should be saying something. Honestly, we didn't encounter any of the guards on the way here. As Milla would put it, it's rather peculiar.

Speaking of the blonde Great spirit, the woman took a couple steps toward the mercenary and bluntly folded her arms. She looked rather upset, but no one can blame her.

"You threw them off our scent and returned Asaya safely? Is this some kind of peace offering?"

Now that I think about it, maybe that's why the man wasn't in the cave when I woke up. He probably was distracting the guards and leading them to the wrong direction. Although, I may be jumping to conclusions again, but that's the only thing I can think of pertaining to why he wasn't there. Alvin raised his arms in doubt, acting like he is surprised by Milla's disbelief towards him. In a way, I feel like I believe him due to our time together last night and this morning. I have seen struggling by my two eyes to show his true feelings. So, why is he failing to do that now?

"What? It's only natural I helped. We're friends, aren't we?" The mercenary lowered his arms, staring straight at Milla, who fell silent.

Everyone here except Yurgen (who probably has NO IDEA what is going on) and myself are feeling the same way. Again, I don't blame them. This man betrayed them and attempted to kidnap me, a target of Exodus, in front of their eyes. Of course they're not going to believe him!

"Come on, you don't believe me?" Alvin added before walking towards Jude. "I know you're put your trust in me before."

He then wrapped his arm around Jude's neck, "Wouldn't it kill you to give me another shot?"

When I turned to look at the medical student and Alvin with a worried look, I distinctively saw a glimpse of Jude staring at me for just a moment. This startled me lightly, especially how long it was taking him to give up and disagree. He almost looked like he needed some confirmation from me. Because of this, this gave me the courage to stand up to the others for Alvin. Even when I myself have mixed feelings for Alvin, the fact he saved me from possible doom again is enough to prove he's innocent. For now. I am the only one who can bring deem his innocence.

"I don't know about you all…" I quickly piped up to gain their attention, which I did after seeing their individual looks turning to me, "He admitted to me that he was going to take me to Exodus, but decided not to."

Along with random banter and important stuff to accompany our time together.

"I…can vouch for him." I placed my hand on my chest, trying my best to stand strong while giving them a confident look.

I'm really hoping this time Alvin will not make me regret this decision later on. The others hesitated a bit while looking somewhat surprised by words. I don't care if they don't believe me, especially because I'm putting myself on the same side of my own instigator. I know I should be the last person to do that. I just feel very strongly that there is no need to doubt Alvin for now.

Jude twisted his head away from me with an uncertain look, "….Alright, I guess not, then."

The mercenary gave the younger boy a wink and a wide smile, "Attaboy."

Afterwards, Alvin and I exchanged eye contact unintentionally in my part. I pursed my lips, deepening my frown as I gave the man a look of pure disapproval. It's my way of saying that he better not screw up to make me regret my decision on helping him. My gray eyes soon averted away to my right, putting my hand back to its original position. Even now, I don't know if he is putting an act or not. I will still believe that Alvin is a good guy. It will just take time for the others to realize that. My thoughts blocked out the small conversation between Elize and Alvin. I just can't help, but take in the uncomfortable looks on everyone elses' faces. I really hope that the others don't think I'm also a traitor somehow by doing this. I sense something like that coming while this right here is already evidence. When it comes, I'm prepared to once again pour my heart out. Alvin let of Jude when Rowen spoke of Alvin giving him time.

"I'd ask what's going on, but I don't think I want to know." Yurgen's voice was heard behind us, making everyone turn to him. A small guilty smile soon formed as I feel bad for forgetting about Yurgen and keeping him in the dark. The man's arms had folded, giving us this very confused (if not, concerned) look.

"You people sure have a lot of drama in your lives." The Kitarl clan member added with a smile. "I'll be in front of the wyverns. Come see me when you're ready to fly."

Aww, look. We scared him off. I waved meekly at the man as he turned around to walk back to the direction of the wyverns. The others looked very exhausted and lost at thought almost like the presence of Alvin himself was enough to make them feel unease. I looked to my left, then my right, with shifty gray eyes, wondering what I can do to break this awkward silence. My stomach lightly grumbled, making my hand to smack it gently by habit. It doesn't seem to want to be quiet..so maybe…just maybe..

I cleared my throat before walking to the direction of the inn, "If anyone needs me, I'm hungry. So I'm going to get some food before we go."

'Kay guys, thanks, bye!

* * *

I really didn't want to be near anyone because I need to think about some things myself. Everyone had been doing their thing, getting their things ready and all while I stayed at the inn eating and drawing. Something to calm me down from two consecutive days that have me reflecting everything. Thankfully, no one came by to talk to me. There were moments of eyes contact and a simple greeting by a wave, but that pretty much was it. Weird, huh? When everyone was ready, the seven of us all went to the wyvern cage as a group. My heart started racing from excitement and even fear. How in the world am I going to live up high in the air?! I hate heights!

I stood beside Leia, observing the wyverns with her as the others talk to the clan member. My eyes counted three. That is the same amount of wyverns from the game. Once Yurgen finished explaining, I turned my body around to face him and tilt my head slightly.

"Do you have a fourth wyvern? I feel bad having three people ride on one of them." I asked with worry etched all over my face.

Yurgen turned around to face me, seeing the others stare at me curiously from behind him. Come on, guys. This is wyvern cruelty to overload them with more than what they can carry. With a proud smile beaming towards me, the clan member folded his arms and I think for the first time, he actually acknowledged me! Yay!

"Our wyverns are strong. They can handle it!"

I was going to object, but decided against it. "If…you say so."

The riders are the same. Milla and Jude are riding one wyvern, Rowen and Leia on another, and Elize, Teepo, and Alvin on the last one. I ended up riding with Alvin…I'm stuck with him AGAIN. The reason makes sense, but at the same time, I dread it because it's something that just defeats the purpose of me not being around Alvin. I'm apparently small and even short enough to fit in the one slot. Does this make me a loli, too? I can't really say I'm happy to be able to fit in somewhere, but I just don't want to ride with Alvin! I'd much rather ride with Jude or with Leia! The wyverns all took off to the sky with great speed to the point I actually started hugging Teepo and Elize tightly. The way this works is Elize sits with her legs out on the left side of Alvin and I do the same on the opposite side. I just happened to activate big sister mode and hug the duo protectively, mixing my fear with heights during this event.

"Alvin, you better get this wyvern on check fast or I'll hurt you!" I screamed as loud as I possibly can while the wyvern started to spaz. Elize and Teepo both are screaming, along with me.

"Try to steer better, please!"

"Help! I think I'm gonna barf!"

"Teepo! Shut it!" Alvin and I both hushed him in unison. Although, he sounded more annoyed than I am. I am just more worried because he just reminded me that I had eaten before this. I may actually puke if I think about it any longer.

Now, I understand why they were terrified and screaming for their lives when I was playing this part of the game. I am not currently experiencing it myself. The entire ride was filled with screamed and endless moving around as I tightly hugged Elize and her doll. My eyes remain closed the duration of the roller coaster. After what I felt like hours of complete horror and fear, the wyvern finally slowed down and became steady fast. Slowly, I opened my eyes and perked my head up while releasing Elize from my hug in the process. The sight in front of me…is truly fascinating in person. Glowing auras of different colors illuminate the sky as clouds drift below us. This surely screams beautiful in its own way. A smile of pure amazement widely spread on my face.

"Wow…"

"It's sparkly!"

Both Teepo and Elize spoke with fascination. I was at loss of words to say or do other than appreciate that I'm here for once. The light breeze added to the scenery as the need for a camera to take this picture increased. Instead, I slowly raised a hand to touch the space above me and I could feel the breeze at my fingertips.

"This…is real…" I found myself murmuring to myself in a somewhat sad tone. It was the same tone I used when I had said the exact words to Jude during our conversation that one night.

Suddenly, I felt Alvin shift behind me and the next thing I knew…A giant shadow towered over us. Immediately, I put my hand down after realizing that this is now not the time to daydream. With the others who are riding with me, I stared at the giant green Sky Lord with large eyes of fear and astonishment. The Pterobronc is freakin' huge in person!

"Wh-What the hell is that!?" Alvin screamed as panic begin welling up in me when it started moving closer.

"It's so huge!" The monster's mouth opened, revealing its monstrous teeth as it lunges towards us.

"Gogogogogogo! Eeep!" I frantically cried, hugging Elize and Teepo again the moment Alvin started moving the wyvern away from harm's way. That thing was about to chomp us like nothing. My heart begin to beat rapidly once again, along with my eyes looking back to the monster flying in the distance behind us. Our wyvern closed in near the others as I can now hear them talking to each other unlike earlier due to the wind rushing in my ears.

"Everyone, dive!" I heard Jude order near us.

Just like we were told to do, Alvin followed the others diving through the clouds. My eyes closed for a moment to embrace the impact before opening my eyes once again. I could sense that monster is still following us, much to my dismay. The Sky Lord begin spitting out fireballs at Milla and Jude's wyvern below us. I get it now…The sneaky monster went diving below swiftly just to harm them. How rude! Grinding my teeth together in annoyance, my worry for the two rose. Time started ticking the moment I realize that at this rate, they will get hit by a fireball just like they did in the game.

"Jude! Milla!" I cried to them in fear that it will happen as I lunged my left arm out towards them. I then gasped, realizing my hand started glowing white as well as the wyvern being pummeled by fireballs. I became startled at the fact that my emotions are once again controlling my artes as I watched Jude's wyvern speed up so quickly.

However, even though I had unintentionally helped them, a fireball still impacted the wyvern on the wing. A helpless look replaced the relieved smile on my face as I gasped loudly, "Noo!"

"Jude!" Leia's voice was heard next.

My stomach lifted from pure guilt and the wyvern sharply diving to follow the others to make sure they were okay. Even if my power just slipped out again because of my emotions, I really had thought I had saved them and I would be happy. Now..I feel like a total failure.

* * *

 **[A/N]**

 **Word count: 4,938 words.**

 **Next Chapter: _Even if the Many Words I Say That Gather Like Snow_**

 **Thank you guys for the support. I really appreciate it! Please review/favorite. I'll give you a virtual cookie.~**


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey guys, Izeiya here bringing you the 13th chapter of _Forget-Me-Not._ This is the second chapter included in the NaNoWriMo thing, and I have to say I am very impressed with myself with this chapter because in my notebook, I would normally write about 13-14 pages. This time, I wrote 17 pages. It still passes the 6k mark, which is super awesome. I would be heavily disappointed if it was still 4k-5k words. :( Again, I hope the characters aren't too OOC as well as my character being much of a Mary Sue. I always worry for these things, trust me. And I'm super excited because in the next chapter, Mia doesn't know what is going to hit her hahahahahaaaa! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and I'll see you in the next chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Xillia, but just my characters.**

 **Stay awesome~**

 **Note: I may also edit typos when I get the chance tomorrow. I just thought I'd put this up for everyone to read.**

* * *

 _ **XIII**_

 _ **Even If the Many Words I Say That Gather Like Snow**_

Panic rose within the city of Sharilton the moment we all landed in the area before the Sharil estate. My mind right now is set on the safety of Jude and Milla. As minutes of pursuing the Sky Lord in the air pass by, we could see the spacious area of the plaza where the duo crashed come into view. I lost track of where I had last seen the Pterobronc. All I remember was it just disappeared and I guess it's because I was too worried for my friends. Even though I mostly feel guilty for failing to help them earlier, that didn't stop me from the problem at hand. We have angered the King of the Skies.

I twisted my head to the side to stare at Alvin, Elize, and Teepo with a stern look, "You guys should help Jude and Milla. I'll ride the wyvern to safety."

They individually responded to my words with a startled look and a soft gasp. The mercenary narrowed his eyes at me, glaring as if I shouldn't have suggested something like that. Both Teepo and Elize put on worried faces, probably scared at the thought of my own being. I understand their concern. I VERY MUCH understand their concern.

"Are you cra—"

"YES, I'M CRAZY!" I interrupted the driver with my voice filled with determination and anger, "But that thing is going to come back to attack us and we don't have a lot of time until it does! Elize can heal and you can help more than I can!"

Alvin and I locked eyes for a moment. It looked like he was trying to confirm that he is hearing correctly. Truthfully, if we weren't moving and standing still while having this discussion, they would see how visibly shaking I am from fear and worry. It wouldn't be too convincing and I would have lost this immediately. A moment later, the man sighed heavily in irritation and possible annoyance that is way too obvious that it was from the look on his face. He then grabbed the mage around her waist before throwing the reins at me. I fumbled while catching it as the poor girl and the doll released a small shriek with frantic looks on their faces. Now holding on to the reins, I vaguely could see in the corner of my eyes that Leia and Rowen had landed. We were already nearing in the ground!?

"Fine! But, don't blame me when you crash!" Alvin screamed, readying himself to catapult after the others.

I grinned mischievously and pushed the man off, "No promises! Now get off my wyvern!"

I could hear their screaming as I adjusted myself on the bird. I then heard something coming from behind us, making me look to see what it was. Just what I expected, the Pterobronc is coming back to attack. Not knowing how to ride this thing, the only possible move I can think of doing is literally pull on the rein towards the direction I want to go. I can relate this to riding on a horse, but I've done that once my whole lifetime. Although, I had fell off from it and thinking of the pain sent chills down my spine. I think the difference is I'm in the air and NOT really controlling this thing very well.

"Urgh…The next thing I do something stupid and COMPLETELY out of my league, I'm slapping myself!" I screamed, emphasizing while holding on to the wyvern as it roughly moves around unsteadily.

Eventually, the wyvern closed in on the ground and rudely threw me off towards the fight happening near us. How coincidental...But still…

"HOW RUUUUUDEEE!"

After minutes of trying to figure out how to fly the stupid thing, it just rejected me like no problem. I was just being its friend and helping it land safely so it wouldn't get harmed in any way. I guess it doesn't care for us…Or rather, me. I flapped my arms around with my yells piercing the air. I still can't believe it just did that! Not to mention, it almost felt like it intentionally did that to toss me into battle. This sucks! I looked ahead of me and my eyes immediately exchange eye contact with the Pterobronc, who just so happened to turn to me from being distracted. Its beaming eyes penetrated my soul deeply as a gasp escaped my mouth and my whole body froze due to the fear it was piercing me with. I then witnessed Milla raising her sword towards the Pterobronc and a sudden lightning bolt struck the monster, bringing me back from my paralyzing state. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to stop the monster from slapping me with its wing as it twirled around to shake off the attack.

"Eeeep!"

"Whoa!"

I felt myself landing on someone, who had reacted by letting out a scream of their own in the process. I perceived the voice to belong to Leia, and I was sure of it. As the both of us skidded on the ground to a complete stop, a painful sensation burned my exposed skin. I hissed in agony, struggling to stand by pushing my hand on the ground.

"Leia…Are you okay? Sorry about that…" I looked up to examine the girl to see that she was also rising from the ground. I was glad to know that I didn't accidentally knock her out unconscious and that it was actually Leia. I would be embarrassed if it wasn't, and instead, it was a random bystander.

"Ugh…It's fine. I'm okay. How about you?" The girl asked through a series of labored panting from exhaustion.

"Miss Leia! Miss Asaya! Watch out!" A cry of warning from Rowen was heard in the distance as the both of us took heed of it. Something soon shadowed us.

My eyes widened in horror and disbelief at the sight of a tornado heading straight towards us. I could hear the wind rushing and it picked up hastily when it moved. The targets in mind are obviously us. I didn't hesitate to move and decided to grab the staff wielder's wrist, pulling her away from the natural disaster's path. Even when my skin is still pulsing in pain, I didn't want that to slow me down. We are in a battle between the Pterobronc, the King of the Skies. There is so much going on that I can't keep track of. The tornado immediately disintegrated after stopping on the spot Leia and I both were once standing. Upon noticing this, I paused to gaze behind us with Leia.

I heavily exhaled in relief, "That was close…"

"Yeah…Thanks!"

I nodded at the panting girl, finding it somewhat difficult to smile. Then, I detected something different in the air for it was blowing harder and harder than before. I perked my head to look behind us again and completely became stunned at the sight of a Pterobronc flying down at us. I was about to cry something, but I was suddenly caught off guard when Leia pulled me behind her by my shoulder. With her staff in hand, the brunette took a step forward and leaped in the air to strike the monster's head. Her attack halted its advance, providing the others time to join in. My eyes widened at the remarkable hit Leia had impacted on the Pterobronc before remembering I should probably help as well. The King of the Skies is starting to become very exhausted. I can tell that much. However, it is very persistent and the others are becoming very tired themselves. Taking out my knife blades from my leg pouch, I waited for the right moment to jump in. I would be lying if I said I am not scared, and I really am afraid. It's been a while since I fought something since…since that dream with Chris.

The look in my eyes darkened at the thought of that nightmare. I can't think about that now. This isn't the time! After watching Rowen perform an arte called Air Pressure, the enemy fell to the ground as it squished on the floor. I was amazed by the arte itself, especially how purple it looked in person. That's the only thing I can possibly describe it, other than mystical and out worldly. I don't think I can fathom being in that arte. After the attack ended with a light thud from Jude and Leia attacking it from both sides, I threw my blades at its left wing. The spin attack it does seem to catch everyone off guard, leaving them confused and distraught. It's similar in the game except there isn't any visible starts spinning around above their heads. Everyone knows that is the animated way of expressing confusion on someone. My plan is to stop that with a certain kind of blades that I hope it will work.

A bright golden magic circled appeared on the ground below me, twirling around as I readied myself to throw the blades. "Paralyze needles!" I shouted with my hand directing to its target.

A spark of electricity can be seen running through each individual blade. Wow, this is actually working. The magic circle beneath me disappeared the moment my blades stung the left wing before a large lightning bolt strike on the wing from above. My tiny sub weapons floated back to my hand swiftly before I put them away in the pouch. Leia literally dropped by as she skidded to a halt beside me while I was in the process of taking out my main weapons. I stopped what I was doing to gawk at Alvin using his sword to throw Jude in the air so he could pummel the enemy with a powerful kick. If I remember correctly, that was a linked arte of theirs named Diving Falcon. They actually look cool in person, but I pretty much expect it to.

I then flinched after hearing Leia let out a scream from realizing something. I twirled my head to check what was she freaking out about, only to see the brunette turning to me with an anxious look.

"I got an idea! Follow me!" The girl cheerfully piped up before running straight for the Pterobronc.

I immediately stretched my hand out as if wanting to catch her with a look of confusion, "Wait, what are you..!?"

Deciding to forget about stopping her to ask her what she could mean, I let out a heavy sigh and tossed my other blade lightly to my free hand. I haven't even prepared myself mentally to jump in the fray. I soon followed after her, passing by my friends who were shouting battle cries and chanting artes. I did my best to stay close to her until the staff wielder took a long step back to position herself behind me.

"Now, jump!" The brunette yelled before leaping in the air.

Without even questioning what she is planning, I did what Leia told me to do. What is her idea exactly? Does she want me to attack it with something and join her? A weird yet warm sensation overwhelmed my body like something was overpowering me with an unknown power. It felt like a second when I had saw it, but I did. A white aura glowing from my body that disappeared a moment after showed up around the girl's body before me as it did the same. Are we linked? …This is actually a thing now. We are linked! With our weapons out, the both of us hit the huge body of the Pterobronc with countless slashes and whacks before hammering it down by its head.

"Twin hammer!" We shouted in unison upon impact.

While we jumped further back, I then saw Milla and Jude running pass us from below. I observed the blonde slash the monster while the medical student released a wave from a fist I recognized as Demon Fist in unison.

"Final Gale!"

Their attack pushed the Sky Lord over the railing the moment Leia landed on the ground. I didn't. At the last second of my foot touching the ground, I clumsily slipped backwards that was followed by me falling on my back. I yelped in pain, hearing the brunette call my name from worry. Before I knew it, I heard footsteps rushing towards us. Ah right, I get to meet Driselle for the first time. I had forgotten about her and what happened to her older brother. I slowly sat up to look at the direction the Sky Lord once was, only to notice that it must have flew away. That's a relief, really. I don't want it to come back to terrorize us again. That King of the Skies monster have nothing against Rathalos rom Monster Hunter. That thing shoots fireballs and poisons you with his claws. Okay, bad time for another video game reference, Mia. Get a grip!

"Please, no one panic! Women and children, seek shelter in your home!" As the party look back to the newcomer, I was left picking myself off the ground and rubbing the back of my head as an attempt to soothe the throbbing pain. "All able-bodied men, to me!"

Is it weird I find her voice cuter in person? Must be just me. Elize approached the young mistress to greet her. With everyone, I stored my weapons back in my small pouch. I didn't pay attention to her yet because my main concern fixated on Alvin, who will soon be behind everyone. As much as I wanted to introduce myself to Driselle, I was too worried for the mercenary. I didn't think he would have saved Jude, especially the time I spent arguing with him. At least, I assumed so. He is standing exactly how he is from the game before falling down on his knee. Facing the opposite direction of the group and I, the man stood there with his hands firmly on his hips as the others walked over to briefly talk to Driselle. Walking cautiously towards him, I slowly raised my hands to poke him with later.

"Are you okay? Alvin?" I asked softly with worry filling my voice. Like I expected, he fell down on his knee and almost immediately, I ran to his side frantically. Why was I still startled even when I know that is going to happen? I don't know. After bringing myself to my knees beside him, I placed a hand gently on his left shoulder and lowered my head down to see his painful face.

"You okay? You took a tough hit when you saved me." I heard Jude say as he ran over to join us. He bent down on a knee, obviously is worried for Alvin's wellbeing as much as I am. The man slightly tilted his head towards Jude.

"Seemed like no big whup at the time, but now, it's really hitting me." Alvin responded in a raspy voice, struggling to even speak.

"You need to rest, then. Try not to strain yourself too much." I tried my best to not use my older sister voice, but it's kind of inevitable. I can't help, but worry so much for others. It's human nature. Even if you say you don't care about anything, there will always be that one something to bring that caring side out.

The guards took over on helping the mercenary and taking him to the manor. The group and I (except Rowen and Driselle) followed as well for I took the time to observe the town of Sharilton. The town is really beautiful and elegant at the same time in person. My back have stopped hurting, much to my relief. I think of this town as a town I can somewhat relate to. My hometown is very much a mix of Leronde and Sharilton. I haven't been to Jude and Leia's hometown yet, but it has that small town vibe as well. I grew surprisingly excited at the thought of seeing and being in the mansion also for some reason. Seeing the building appear in view, I lightly opened my mouth in awe as my eyes scanned it. I peered to the gate opening for us by the guards before my eyes caught something peculiar. I distinctively could see a strange figure walking from the path on the right side of us. Whoever it was, they are very small and short. They then stopped walking by the time they reached the open space between the gates. I fell into confusion after realizing that no one other than me seems to unable to see this random creeper. The figure is slowly coming into view clearly as we approached them. Seriously, this person is just standing and staring at us menacingly! Who is that!? My footsteps gradually slowed down, having a gut feeling that whoever it was, I am not going to like it. And well..I was correct.

The strange creeper is a child with gray eyes and dark hair that looks very identical to Chris. Instead, this child is wearing a red and white hooded jacket, plain jeans, and sneakers. His style is different than Chris, considering it is messier than the timid twin. The moment I captured the sight of a grinning boy, my whole body completely froze from shock and a tad bit of happiness suddenly well inside of me.

"Cody..?" I mouthed out loud awestruck, stopping completely on my tracks.

The nearest person who just so happened to hear me was Elize and Teepo. She looked up to gaze at me with a confused look, stopping a few steps ahead of me.

"Are you okay, Asaya?" She mused, tilting her head to the side as a quizzical look remains on her face.

"You look very pale!" Teepo shouted loud enough for the others to stop and turn around.

Their voices had brought me back to reality, and seeing everyone else staring at me in wonder what was going on, my face completely turned red from embarrassment. All this unneeded attention made me stumble a bit as mixed emotions begin to overwhelm me. I don't know how exactly I can deal with this or even get away from this, but that didn't stop me from wondering who that child was. I tried to peek pass their shoulders to see if Cody is still there, only to find that he's completely gone. Disappointment replaced all my feelings I had all at once as I slumped my body down. Dammit, if it wasn't for Teepo, I would have gotten away of seeing Cody and passing him without any problems. The only thing that will affect me is my mental and emotional state, but now, I just don't know if I had seen my other little brother just now. Remembering that the others are awkwardly staring at me and waiting for me to reply, I put my head up to flash a nervous smile while rubbing the back of my neck slowly. This may take a while for me to really recover.

"Ahaha…I-It's nothing. Sorry, don't mind me!" I responded with an uneasy laugh and continued walking towards the manor, passing the others. The others seemed to already brush off how weird I have acted and proceeded to follow after me. My smile faded immediately, allowing my thoughts to emerge once again. I slowed down my pace to let the others lead the way.

We waited and rested in the corner where a table and three chairs idled around the flat furniture. The guards apparently had let go of Alvin after having him sit on the couch across the room from us. The man hasn't said a single word as he allowed himself to relax for the moment. I, for one, was relieved that he is at least resting. I joined the others in the table area, letting Milla, Jude, and Leia take the chairs while Elize was playing with Teepo to pass the time. I ended up sitting and leaning against the wall with my legs on my chest. I was between Milla and Jude, who I could feel stares coming from glancing my way while I was lost in thought. Normally, I would be drawing, but the scene with Cody earlier left me completely distraught. I hope nothing bad is going to happen…again.

* * *

Time passed, and Rowen soon joined us. Eventually, Driselle joined us as well when she walked through the entrance door of her home.

"The horse trainer says the wyverns need more time to recuperate." The Lady informed us as Elize stood up, "You all should rest here in the city while you can."

She then turned around and left. I lowered my head down, resting my chin on my knees as I hugged my legs. I really just want food, but I don't want to be rude and ask where I can find some. I think I rather find my little brother. As the others talked to each other, I unintentionally blocked the conversation with my own set of thoughts. Maybe when everyone splits up, I'll go to the city and see if I can find Cody. Maybe he will appear again to me, so I need to prepare myself mentally this time. Before I knew it, everyone begins moving and going their own path. Even Alvin got up from the couch to leave the mansion. I also stood up as well, hearing Rowen pull a chair to sit on it. I think they had said something to me, but I probably absentmindedly nodded my head to something I didn't know what I was agreeing to. Whoops.

"Miss Asaya, may I have a word with you for a moment?" Rowen's voice stopped me from walking away as I turned to glance at the old man curiously.

"Umm..Okay." I softly answered, watching him gesture a hand towards the nearest chair to me as a way to tell me to sit.

I nodded before grabbing the chair to sit on it. I grew very confused because of the fact that Jude was supposed to be talking to him at the moment. At least that's what I think he did. I've only played Jude's side, so I haven't the slightest clue what happened in Milla's side.

"I've noticed lately you've been very distracted about something. Are you regaining any of your memories?"

"Ah..." I only said briefly, thanking Rowen silently for reminding me of something important.

Right, I was supposed to have amnesia. I guess with something happening like Chris appearing and everything really is making me seem like that. In a sense, it does seem like I'm seeing and experiencing things about my family I never experienced before. Chris wouldn't try to kill me though…I hope not.

"I think I am…" Was the only half-assed response I can come up with at the moment.

I need to take advantage of my own confusion! However, I can't allow Rowen to be concerned about any of my matters. Again, I should not know who Nachtigal is to Rowen. I unfortunately do, and that's why I have to stop the butler from consoling me about something that is a lie I made up to hide the ultimate weird truth.

"But, don't worry. You should worry about…what you need to think about." I interrupted the old man, staring at him with a determined look. Despite the awkward pause being I wasn't so sure how I should execute it, I know it was a bad attempt to change the subject quick. "I don't know what Milla meant, but if she tells you that, then it must be important, you know?"

Way to use your prior knowledge to get an upperhand, even when it seemed like you weren't paying attention to them earlier, Mia. Rowen grew speechless at the words spoken to him by me. It seems like he was continuing to recollect his thoughts as I smiled sweetly at this success to change the direction of this conversation.

I then stood up from my chair, trying not to be too abrupt doing so, "Your situation is more important than mine. I will support you the whole way. I appreciate your concern, but please, this amnesia is nothing right now."

I really hope I don't sound like I'm in a hurry, but I really am. My little brother could be out there as we speak, waiting for me. I have to know why exactly is he here. I am also hoping he isn't here to torment me because I made a mistake by doing something to change something minor during my adventure. The way I see it, it is like punishment from the Great Maxwell themselves for doing something I wasn't supposed to do in his own world.

Rowen glared at me with an astonished look, unsure how to answer my words of honesty and support. A moment after, the old man closed his eyes to ease himself and reopened them to give me gleaming eyes of light happiness mixed with a hint of sadness.

"Very well. I thank you."

I nodded again with my smile turning to a bright grin as I made my way towards the building exit. Seeing how he hasn't said anything else, I proceeded to leave. I'm going to miss knowing what is going to happen, but at the same time, I'm scared and excited. I have no idea what is going to happen now, and I'm afraid that something terrible will happen. I don't know where to find the Eternal Wellspring Gem, yet for some reason, I'm beginning to care less. I want to go home, but I don't want to at the same time.

A sigh heavily escaped my lips after shutting the door behind me. I believe I could feel the same anxiety everyone must be feeling right now. I started walking towards the stairs where I see Leia sitting on the top step. She seemed to be staring far into the distance while hugging her legs. I don't think I've seen her look so deep in thought before. Folding my arms behind me, I slowly approached the girl and stopped beside her. At least this alone gained her attention as the brunette lifted her head to my direction. I put on a small smile and meekly waved my hand shortly after.

"Oh, hey! You scared me!" Leia said with a nervous smile on her face.

I giggled, "Sorry."

After apologizing, I sat down beside the younger girl with my knees together and my arms resting on it. Silence took place between us, much to my surprise, as the both of us looked forward to observe the blue sky turning twilight. The sky looked very beautiful today. It's a great way to relax like this.

"Hey, have you ever dealt with a spyrix before?" The brunette started speaking to break the utter silence between us.

I blinked once before tilting my head towards her in confusion, "Personally, no. When Exodus used them, yes."

Leia lowered her head, frowning somewhat sadly, "I see. I have before enough to know it's dangerous."

"…Are you scared?" I didn't know why that question was the first thing I thought of replying with.

She shook her head and smiled softly at me, "A little, but when I'm with Jude, you, and everyone else, I can't be scared."

"Oh~ I see what you did there." I teased the girl with a sly smile and nudged her arm gently, "Putting Jude first, then me."

"H-Hey! Cut it out!"

I laughed loudly and wholeheartedly while the staff wielder began flustering around by waving her hands around in various directions. This has to be the first time I've ever laughed this hard since coming to this world. It's very reassuring and heartwarming to me because it feels like that all I've been experiencing is sadness and anger. After a few minutes of laughing, I know I had my fill of laughter and I'm glad that the brunette had joined in for a moment. Leia's crush for Jude is too obvious in the game, but unfortunately, his eyes seems to be set on someone else. I've been in the group long enough to notice this, thus teasing her about it should be a piece of cheesecake.

"What about you? Aren't you scared?"

The roles changed as my smile immediately changed to a startled look, then to a frown, averting eye contact from Leia.

"Scared for what's to come?" I asked, wanting to make sure if both her and I are on the same page. Catching a glimpse of the brunette nodding her head, my whole body relaxed after realizing that it isn't anything too nerve-wrecking.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips, lifting my head to look at the twilight laden sky, "Honestly, yes. It sounds like this is going to be a huge battle, but I'm also worried if I'm ever going to find that gem."

"Oh, that's right. You have to get that gem to go home…" Leia spoke as if I had reminded her of something sad. I don't blame her - It felt like ages since I decided to make finding the gem my first priority. Now, it's the other way around. Finding the reason why I was sent here became my top priority.

I nodded my head upon hearing her words, "But, right now, I have to support Milla and everyone. You all are close to me."

"Asaya…" I heard her murmur, sounding very surprised because of my words.

A confident face replaced the frowning look that I once had before grinning proudly towards the brunette. Afterwards, I pushed myself off the ground and stretched my arms out. Leia stood up as well before clasping her hands together behind her.

"If anyone asks, I'm going to walk around this town. I want to explore a bit." I walked down the stairs, turning to my side to wave at her at the start of my departure. A small smile gleamed at the brunette to reassure her that I'm fine.

"Be careful!"

"Don't worry!"

I shouted back, changing my waving hand to a thumbs up in the air. Soon, I lowered it and looked straight at my path. I then heard a door shut in the distance behind me as I had assumed that it must be Leia going back inside the house. Another sigh escaped my lips as I eased my shoulders to relax myself. It really does hurt having the party in the dark when I'm facing a rather psychological fighting of my own. Like everyone else, I'm dealing with something personal. The only difference is I'm keeping mine a secret no matter what. I cannot say certain things, but now I can't help with anything after tomorrow because I have no idea what to expect. I don't know what is going to happen. That is why I am scared for everyone's sake.

I soon reached the path between the manor and the plaza we were at before with the railings running down at each side. Sensing something strange in the air, I looked up slowly and the person I initially went to the city for just so happened to be there. He was standing there with the same grin he had on earlier. It almost reminds me of Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. I stopped walking when I was a mere couple feet away from him, becoming cautious in case he decides to do something terrible like Chris. So far, he doesn't have any dangerous weapons with him or isn't emitting a killer aura.

"Cody…Is that really you?" I started the conversation, observing the area around us.

Unlike the encounter with his twin brother, everything is still moving. I could still feel the light breeze and the sound of civilians nearby

The small boy shook his head rapidly enough for his hair to be messier, "No, I'm just a figment of your subconscious."

I raised a brow in confusion, "…Okay, now I'm really confused. You're very civil, and Chris is not so civil. What is going on?"

"Cody" finally frowned as he started walking towards me. I immediately changed to a defensive stance, feeling paranoid that he is going to do something scary. He is completely unfazed at my reaction as he stared at me blankly. He stopped walking when he was right in front of me. I don't know why this is a bit creepier than "Chris." His gray eyes are emotionless, staring deeply to my soul.

"You're dying as we speak, Mia. You need to hurry and find the Eternal Wellspring Gem."

My eyes grew large after hearing that I'm dying. The emotional scar from back in Labari Hollow and Xian Du resurface in my mind. I didn't want that sickening feeling to come back, I had thought as a hand covered my mouth for the need to vomit again was strong. It doesn't help that those words are something I didn't want to hear from my own little brother. I began to hyperventilate, but I tried my best to fight this feeling. Gulping, I lowered my hand that had once covered my mouth and took a deep breath to calm myself down.

"I thought I already…Can you please explain to me what is going on to me?! All of these experiences with our…MY family! These..nightmares.." My mind started replaying all of the horrible things I have gone through.

"It's "Chris". What do you expect?" The boy spatted, "What you are dealing with is something you have to decide is real or not. This is your journey, too, but you're too busy worrying about other people."

Suddenly, the kid raised his right arm from his side and a long sword with a red and white ribbon hanging from the end of the hilt materialized in his hand. Cold sweat ran through my face as I shakily took a step back. I can't seem to register the words spoken to me. I have to decide what is real or not by everything I am going through? And why is he suddenly summoning a weapon like it is perfectly normal to do so in public? All I know now is that I can't fight "Cody" like this. My mind is swirling with questions and emotions that I can't even register it all. Not to mention that whoever this is, they are using the body and voice of my own beloved little brother. I can't fight him either way! I continued taking a couple steps back to further distance myself from the child. I can't even bring myself to take my weapon out to retaliate.

"Wake up already!" The gray eyes of my little brother glared angrily towards me as he swung his sword with a raging cry that filled the air. I released a frantic yelp from utter horror and shock, switching to a defensive stance by raising my arms in front of my face to shield myself. A sudden breeze passed me from behind, and in an instant, the sound of sword clashing can be heard. I opened my eyes upon hearing this unexpected noise and looked up slowly to see what is happening now. My gray eyes widened as it locked at the back of a certain blonde spirit in front of me.

"Milla?!" I cried in shock until the sound of something shattering was heard in front of us.

When I stepped to the side to clearly see what is going on, the pieces of what used to be my little brother disappeared into tiny particles of nothingness. The sword even dropped to the ground before shattering to pieces itself, vanishing to nothing as well. I exhaled heavily as I fight back the tears that was welling up in the corner of my eyes.

"Be careful what you do….Asaya." The last thing I heard from my little brother echoed in the atmosphere, making the tears I was fighting back finally fall down my cheeks.

Why is everything about this giving me such a huge heartache? It must be because of the fact that this is happening to someone very close, even when it wasn't them. These tears are tears from frustration, confusion, and heartache to the point I just want to drop on my knees and cry. And that's exactly what I did. Milla stored her weapons away and turned around to exchange eye contact with me. In her magenta eyes expressed a hint of worry through the stern look she was wearing. I was still trying to process what had happened while tears fall down.

"I could see them the whole time, but I had not a clue who they are until now. To think those spirits are your brothers.."

I was surprised. They were spirits..? And Milla knowing all along…That explains why she had the time to catch me the first time I encountered "Chris" in Xian Du. Even so, why didn't she say anything about this matter until now when she saved me? I had a feeling that maybe all this time, she had suspected me from the very beginning. The woman folded her arms bluntly, watching me sulk silently and look away from her as I felt somewhat ashamed.

"It seems like there is a lot of information you are hiding from us, though I can see why. Are you still willing to keep it all a secret?"

"You knew…all along?" I managed to say, blinking to finally rest my eyes for a second. I then heard footsteps coming from behind us as well as our names being called. I immediately discerned the voice as no one other than Jude.

Milla then offered a hand for me to use to stand up, which I slowly took after muttering a quiet 'Thank you.

"About your brothers and their appearances, yes. The things they say are rather peculiar and sounded very urgent."

"I don't even know myself…Please don't tell the others…" I glanced back to see that the medical student is closing in very quick with a saddened look on my face, "They have problems of their own. I can't afford for anyone to worry for me. Ever."

Silence.

Milla then closed her eyes and smiled softly, "You have my word."

"Are you guys okay? What happened?!"

I wiped my tears away with my arm, feeling very grateful for Milla's understanding. It just goes to show that maybe the blonde spirit really does believe in me from the very beginning through my confusion and fear. At least, that's what I had hoped for..

* * *

 **[A/N]**

 **Word Count: 6,449 words.**

 **Next Chapter: _Are Just To Protect My Weak Heart_**

 **Thank you all for the support by favoriting/following/reviewing. Please please pleaaaaase! I would appreciate if you guys review, so I can know what to work on and why this has so much favorites and follows than I expected it to have. I am also super glad because if it weren't for you, I probably would have stopped writing this fanfic. Much love, Izeiya.**


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! Even though it's a day late, this is still my gift to my followers! I am so so so sooooo sorry for disappearing on everyone for a little more than a month. It is the holidays and like I had said, I was a bit depressed because I couldn't bring myself to reach the goal of NaNoWriMo. The grand total of the previous chapters of the event is...-drum rolls- 11, 387 words.**

 **...**

 **Gosh, I am such a failure lol.**

 **Anyway, I hope you guys forgive my temporary disappearance. I have to admit though, this isn't really my best chapter. I'm sorry if it isn't to your liking. Through this whole chapter, I was fighting personal battles in the other side of the screen and it was hard for me to actually focus on writing and revising even. I feel somewhat better now that I can share this chapter with you all. I very much hate having people wait, despite people telling me that everything will be fine. Honestly, it leaves a bad taste. I don't want to be that author who just completely forgets about those who actually likes this story. Again, I love you all if you do. -gives a cookie- I can't do that to you guys! I'm sorry! I have a few announcements, though.**

 **-If you guys haven't checked it out, my profile and my deviantart (PManaya) have all the updates as to what is going on with me and the progress of my stories. So please please! Check them out once in a while!**

 **-The comic that Mia is drawing in this story is actually another fanfic I'm writing called _Soulbound Risk: A Tale of Erinn_. You can find it in my pages (DA and FF) as well if you are interested that is.**

 **-SPEAKING OF _Soulbound Risk: A Tale of Erinn_! I have decided to do a weekly upload starting tomorrow. It is up to chapter three in FF, but in my DA, it's currently up to date for I have been focusing on this story more haha.**

 **-Cloud-Ima: Welcome to the craziness! I mean..yeahhh..haha! I am really glad that you enjoyed my story so far! ^.^ I try my best and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **\- And lastly...Mewnia. Saving the best for last! Thank you so much for the shout out! It made me so much better during my depression time. I still have yet to draw your character eheheh...Please forgive me. But everyone, check out her Tales of Xillia fanfic _A Similar Story_! She is now my best friend haha.**

 **Without further ado and a very long author's note, I bring youuuuu chapter 14! Enjoy! Any revising shall be done by tonight or tomorrow. Haha..**

 **Disclaimer: I do noooooot own any of the Tales of Xillia character and everything except my own. I torture Mia way too much heheh.**

 **Stay awesome.**

* * *

 **XIV**

 **Are Just to Protect My Weak Heart**

After the scene with Cody, Milla, Jude, and I walked back to the manor. The atmosphere between us was filled with silence, and the urge to cry is very strong. My head really hurts from what had happened. I walked behind the two main characters, noticing the duo seems closer than usual somehow. I don't know how, but it just feels like it. I only assumed that it was because of their conversation, if I remember correctly. It was a total shipping 'awww' moment between them. That's what I thought when I had played that part back home. Honestly, it's totally OBVIOUS that something had happened! For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to smile for once. I feel happy for them, but at the same time, very empty. This is very unusual, even for me.

And I absolutely hate it.

The moment we entered the manor, the others were there while seemingly waiting patiently for our arrival. They were very concerned, judging by the looks on their faces when we entered. Alvin is an exception for he was leaning against a nearby wall nonchalantly with his arms folded on his chest. His brown eyes were stuck on us, but I can't make out the emotions inside of them. I could sense the strange uncomfortable feeling a million yards away, and it was starting to worrying me. As much as I wanted to approach him to find out what is wrong, I just can't bring myself to do it again. It isn't because I was being bombarded by questions, but because I just couldn't straight out my feelings at this point. The only thing I could answer with was that I'm fine and immediately change the topic to dinner before I get too emotional. I silently apologized to Alvin in my head when he was the first one to walk to the dining room before everyone else. Dinner was made.

Chatter is among the dinner table as it was cheery and full of light laughter here and there. It was like the calm-before-the-storm type of deal. I silently sat between Leia and Jude – as I jokingly teased in my head that I am separating the shipping – while eating my food rather slowly. I'd listen to the conversations once in a while, and because of the innocent aura from it, I grew even more guilty. I gently set my spoon inside the bowl of soup, narrowing my eyes sadly at the reflection of mine. The past days of being in this world, I've been bearing the responsibility of making sure people doesn't get hurt even when it is part of the story. In the end, I am the one experiencing pain and now that things are going to get complicated, I am afraid. It's not that I mind – in fact I KNOW I am self-sacrificing. However, dealing with this alone is suffocating. It makes my blood boil at the thought of the person who is using my own family against me. Again, I don't like having people involved with my own matters. I don't mind…

I don't mind…

At all.

After gritting my teeth as an attempt to suppress my negative emotions, I abruptly stood from my seat. I'm fully aware I had grabbed the attention from everyone because of this. With an uneasiness feeling wavering inside, I perked my head up and gave a small fake smile to the others. It only ended up making me feel awkward and not genuine for my own bad taste.

"I…um…I-I'm going to head to bed for the night." I announced softly before bowing my head towards the Lady of the house. "Thank you for the dinner. It was delicious."

Driselle smiled happily, "Oh, you're very welcome! The guest room is the left room on the second floor."

So, basically where Elize was hanging out when everyone separated. Got it.

I again nodded my head towards her as a way to express my gratitude before walking away from the table and everyone. That's another thing as well. Driselle was there, so I can't afford to screw up my first impression from her. It's bad enough I didn't really introduce myself! Great job, Mia. You are becoming forgetful…slowly. I don't know how this is relevant to my current state.

I wasted no time to walk up the stairs. If I stayed there longer, I would have broken down in tears and sob like a baby. Everyone would be worried, but when I think about it, would leaving like how I did just now make them worry either way? Ah, I didn't care. I'm just hoping a good night sleep will bring me back to normal.

A sigh escaped my lips the moment I reached the room to open the door quietly, "I hope the wyvern ride there is at least smooth."

I chuckled lightly at my words, walking in with my hand still on the knob. When I looked up after noticing something in the corner of my eyes, a child figure was standing there creepily with a smile on their face. My body completely froze from shock, immediately recognizing the kid as "Cody" because of his red and black motif. How in the world..?

"Good luck tomorrow, sis~!" The kid cried out in a singing tone, waving his hand side to side obnoxiously. Before I could say or do anything, an invisible wind attacked me and pushed me away with such strength.

With a loud shriek, I found myself flying pass the door before hitting the railing with my back that caused me to cough out from excruciating pain. Why did I feel like I have experienced something from a horror movie? And why do I feel like this is payback for not being able to attack me earlier because Milla saved me? Did he really want to hurt me that badly? What did I ever do to deserve this?! After sliding to a sitting position on the floor and leaning against the railing, I heard footsteps rushing towards my direction. Guards and even the others ran up the stairs with some individually crying out my name. Astonished and disappointed by the lack of reaction time, my head whipped quickly to observe them. A rather light painful facial expression shifted to their direction as I silently watched them arrive one by one.

"What happened?" Elize was the first to ask, startled at how I looked probably.

Leia crouched down beside me, gently helping me up while asking, "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine! I-I thought I saw something scary and kind of overreacted…" I answered hastily, doing my very best to not show how distraught I am.

That isn't the case obviously. The need to tell them grew stronger, and it's to the point when I will eventually burst out the hidden mixed emotions inside of me that I have been bottling up for days. If Genesis was here, that gem lover would have already known and tell them the whole truth if given the circumstances. That's the kind of friend she is. I looked at the room once again, noticing "Cody" had disappeared probably long before everyone had arrived.

Suddenly, Rowen burst out laughing much to everyone's surprise as we turned out attention towards him, "I believe you have encountered a ghost that is haunting the mansion."

My spine then felt chills running down on it as a few of us released a frightened gasp. It was mostly from Leia, Elize, Teepo, and even Driselle herself! Everyone else was obviously taken off guard, judging by the looks on their faces. I think I am as surprised at Driselle looking startled at this than knowing there is a ghost here. I would have bet, though. This mansion does look old.

"Gh-Ghost…?" Leia and I both replied in the same fearful tone. At this point, I was standing closely beside the brunette, staring at the conductor with large eyes full of terror.

"Why yes, it was a story from long ago. An incident that was very unfortunate for those staying in this room."

Rowen started storytelling with a grave tone as the guards slowly walked away from us. I bet in their minds right now is: Welp, our job here is done. I find it funny because of how they are walking away without saying a single word. The moment the old man begins speaking, I immediately stiffed my body with an obvious scared look on my face.

"No no no no no! I am not listening to this!" I interrupted him in a very high pitched tone, covering my ears to block his words as I proceeded to follow the guards leaving. "No way am I sleeping in that room now!"

"W-Wait! Where are you going to sleep then?!" I managed to hear Jude screaming after me with that question. Though to me, his voice is muffled, yet still audible. He sounded genuinely worried for my wellbeing, but really, I don't know if Rowen is being serious or not. I know he's a troll since I have experienced it in person and in game. I really just hate scary things in general!

"I'll sleep downstairs!"

Rowen chuckled, making me completely stop. It's as if I could hear the malice being camouflaged by his innocent hearty laughter, "Downstairs is far worse, I'm afraid."

My lips pursed as beads of sweat rained down my face from fear and anxiety. I was just about to walk on the very first step downstairs. The moment I looked over to the group watching my every move, a certain purple doll appeared right in front of me with its mouth wide open. The last thing I heard was a loud shriek before everything turned completely dark and silent.

Damn you, Teepo!

* * *

The next morning, I woke up and found myself lying down on a bed. I guess in the end, I'm still sleeping on the bed inside the haunted room. I slowly sat up and stretched my arms while doing my best to not make a single sound. The first thing I noticed was the girls of the group is still sleeping except for one person: Milla.

I frowned while narrowing my eyes at the closed door, "Of course she's gone…"

That blonde spirit has been acting strange as well ever since the tournament back in Xian Du. I'm not one to judge or pry because to me, I am probably acting strange. I looked over to where Elize, Teepo, and Leia was sleeping soundly on the other bed. The sight of them made me smile sweetly. The two younger girls really look like they could be long lost sisters, and seeing how close they are resting near each other just proves it. It almost reminded me of my younger brothers and myself.

My smile faded at the thought of last night before lowering my head down. It seems like it's "Cody's" turn to be haunting me this time. I feel like that's the case from now on. Whatever happened to that "Chris" is over between us. Slowly looking up at my brown pouch that is on the table nearby, I reached to grab it. Putting it on my lap, I opened it to quietly take one of my daggers to look at it solemnly. Today marks the day when I will have no idea what to expect and again, I'm afraid. I'm very afraid because I don't want to be useless, but now, I have to use my own ability to overcome this in any way possible. The sun's ray illuminated the room as it appeared in the sky, awakening everyone for the day to come. It must be my imagination, but I swear, a royal blue glimmering light had pulsated on the dagger I'm holding. A soft startled gasp escaped my lips at the sudden sight. I didn't try to use any arte or anything, and obviously it isn't the reflection of the dawn before me. This feeling…Why does it remind me of Chris!?

Later in the morning, everyone woke up and got ready for the day. Breakfast, getting things in the market at Central Sharilton, and the whole morning routine. I had finally introduced myself to Lady Driselle after she had told us that our wyverns have recovered from yesterday. I don't feel so bad now. I was surprised by how everyone was getting things together because it seems like how one ordinary person would prepare themselves for a road trip. It's like that except with complicated items and everything. For me, this whole scenario is very nostalgic since family trips are a normal thing for me back at home. The meeting place is the same place as in the game. I was sitting down with everyone else (except Milla, Jude, and Alvin) standing around me as I quietly drew in my sketchbook. I'm still not comfortable with people watching me, and it's difficult to focus. Waiting for about fifteen minutes had made me used to the audience until the two main characters finally arrived to the scene. Because I was too focused on finishing the drawing and was pre-occupied by that one thing that is bothering me, I didn't bother looking up from the page. All I could hear were footsteps stopping near us.

"Where's Alvin?" Jude asked curiously.

Leia answered immediately, "He hasn't shown up yet."

I can hear Elize shifting around next to me, "He's probably figuring out his next lie."

Jude approached the young mage and kneeled down in front of her, "That's not true."

A moment of silence passed by, and I finished the drawing just like what I wanted to do for a while. Meanwhile, Milla was speaking to us in general, I shut my sketchbook softly and stood up as I put everything away in the process. I thought long and hard how I am going to answer her questions. Listening to everyone's expected answer, my head was lowered down as I narrowed my eyes at the ground disdainfully.

"Don't forget. Alvin was the one who saved me from the bad guys." Teepo's answer brought me to tuning into the conversation just before my thoughts was about to be clouded by darkness again. Like Elize, I turned my attention to him with an astonished look. Jude then stood up from his crouching position before turning towards me. The look in his eyes was filled with light confusion, probably wondering why in the world I look very dumbfounded. My shoulders eased as a heavy sigh released from my mouth.

"I told him this before, but I don't get him. He's saved me a few times now and not to mention he didn't take me to Exodus, but he's.." I paused to shake my head, "I don't know."

An unexpected smile flashed towards Milla from myself as a hint of light annoyance can be heard in my voice, "He's an Alvin, and an Alvin makes me want to punch him _really_ bad."

And I mean, I REALLY do want to punch him for making me have mixed feelings, and it's not like I needed more things to add into the already distorted jar of feels. Nope! Jude smiled nervously at my answer, but for those who can sense the dark intentions behind my words, they stared at me like with such scary looks.

The medical student turned around to look at Milla, "What do you think?"

"We'll need to keep up our guard around him until he reveals his hand. He remains trustworthy in battle, at least." The blonde spirit bluntly answered with a hand on her hip.

I folded my arms, pursing my lips to a frown after hearing her words. I watched as Elize and Teepo approached Milla. I never really understood this. But, I think the girl wanted to say something to her at this moment before Alvin interrupted her.

"Now now, it's not polite to talk about someone behind their back."

We all turned to the source, who sounded very serious even when he greeted us. Elize glared at the mercenary for a moment before holding her nose up while looking away. I find it cute, probably because the young mage is acting like a total tsundere right now.

"I don't care!"

Alvin lifted his arms as if shrugging carelessly, "What can I say? You guys are my only allies."

As Leia lifted her arms like she has no idea what to say or do towards Jude, the medical student and I were the only ones left staring at him with blank looks on our faces. Before long, I looked at the guy next to me with a dead serious look and pointed at Alvin meekly, "Can I punch him now?"

Jude immediately shook his head with a somewhat frightened look, making me drop my hand and put on a disappointed face. I mentally noted to myself that the next time he does something that annoys me, there will be no hesitation or asking for permission. I will flat out punch him. Seeing the brunet walking towards me with a smug look, the sudden feeling of dread overwhelmed me. He decided to lift up his hand and mess up my hair like a little child.

I frantically waved my arms around, growling, "Stop it, you jerk!"

"That makes everyone, then. Let's be off."

Hello?! I'm not ready! A certain idiot is annoying me! I stared at Milla in disbelief just in time for the man to finally stop messing with me.

"Please wait!" Elize piped up to gather the attention of everyone.

"Rowen, are you really going to fight with your old buddy?"

Both Elize and Teepo turned to gaze at Rowen with worry all over their small faces. Thankfully, Alvin took a step to the side away from me as I gave him one last glare. I'm hoping he gets the idea that I very much disapprove the fact he is treating me like this. The old man gave a small smile towards the two as I carefully observed him. I was suddenly reminded of the conversation I had with Rowen yesterday. I can't fathom the decision to fight someone who was once close to you. But then again, I have been doing that a lot in the past few days with my younger brothers. Rowen frowned with his eyes closing. It took a minute for him to respond, "It is my fault that Nachtigal became the man he is."

A bittersweet smile slowly formed on my face, feeling somewhat sad for Rowen as he continued speaking, "I am prepared to fight him when the times comes."

"You have our support." Jude responded to his words.

"Don't worry. I'll be right behind you!" Leia cheerfully told Rowen with a bright smile.

"I've got your back, too!" Teepo spoke as Elize nodded in agreement.

With folded arms, I nodded my head as well and grinned at the conductor, "I will support you the whole way! Just like what I had said before."

"Thank you, everyone."

"Don't worry. I'll pick up your dentures if you drop 'em, grandpa." Alvin teased with a grin and a hand bluntly on his hip.

"Please do." Rowen replied with a nonchalant chuckle, staring at the mercenary with a look.

I smiled at the banter between the duo, laughing softly to myself at Alvin's reaction to Rowen's stern look. My eyes then gazed to Milla, feeling like she was staring at me for some reason. I was right. She was giving a knowing look towards me that made my brow furrow in sadness as I looked down. I know exactly what that look meant, and it had something to do with our conversation from yesterday concerning me not telling everyone my dilemma. True enough, everyone here gives support to what one does or one is going through. That's the great thing about this group, but I just can't bring myself to tell them the truth. I just can't. After hearing Milla and Jude speak to mark our departure, I immediately prepared myself mentally for what's next to come. We left Sharilton after saying our goodbyes and thank yous towards the mayor. The ride on the wyverns is a bit steadier than yesterday because the wyvern is probably used to us. I grew excited, nervous, and afraid as my eyes focused on what's ahead of us. My mouth pursed as I closed my eyes while being determined to calm my very soul. I know it's selfish of me to keep to myself about my brothers, but it doesn't involve everyone. The others wouldn't have to worry because it seems to me happening just to me. The only thing they would have to worry about is my whole being. I guess Milla knowing eases me just a bit, and I'm very grateful. The skies slowly turned different than the usual blue sky I was getting used to seeing. In its own way, it's very beautiful and I immediately can tell we are closing in to Fennmont. For the last time of remembering something and having gone through this before, we landed in the middle of a highroad next to the city. This is the Barnauer Highroad, and this is the place where I left off in the game.

Along with the others, we got off the wyverns as I had to help Elize safely down from the wyvern. The poor girl was having trouble with it. It doesn't help that I was feeling a bit motion sick from the ride itself. Joining the others that was standing in a single area, I looked around the area while taking in the view around me.

"I believe we just need to follow this road to reach Fennmont." Milla informed us before Rowen nodded his head in agreement.

"….B-But, the wyverns.." I murmured sheepishly in worry as soon as everyone walked the direction Milla was facing.

With an exasperated sigh, I soon followed them and like Leia had said just now, let the walking begin.

I'm glad I'm not the only one worried about the wyverns staying behind. I could see Elize looking back once in a while to gaze at the wyverns in concern. The only thing I can do to reassure her is by patting her head gently. Whenever her and Teepo look up at me, I would smile brightly. The feeling of not being alone in a certain matter really is..not lonely. The whole entire time walking to Fennmont, there were some battle encounters here and there. When it comes to the guards, we ended up avoiding them. It's weird to me because I would have thought that we would immediately go and beat them up without any problems. This isn't the case since we are trying to avoid being caught. Everything Is making sense for once!

"The wyverns will be okay, right?" I had to ask in the middle of traveling, I've noticed the skies are gradually turning different in contrast to when we arrived.

"Don't worry. They will be fine." Jude replied, giving me a reassuring smile when he looked back at me. Even so, the uneasiness continues to bother me for it was obviously expressed on my face. Despite the fact the medical student had looked normal from what I had seen, a gut feeling inside me was making me hope that Jude isn't nervous or scared or anything. He's returning back to the city he fled because he got involved in something he shouldn't have. Because of this, I observed him as he turned back around to look straight forward. The poor guy…

"You really should quit sweating the small stuff, kiddo." Alvin teased with a grin flashing back at me slightly with his hands on the back of his head.

I quickly narrowed my eyes angrily at Alvin before stomping my way towards the mercenary, passing a confused Elize and Teepo. Lifting my right hand to curl it into a ball of fist, I swiftly punched his back as hard as I can. The brunet flinched for a moment, and then brushed it off like it was nothing. Ugh! How annoying! I would've enjoyed it if he would give me a show by putting on an overly dramatic reaction, but then again, I was expecting him to treat it as weak.

"What the hell was that for?" An annoyed Alvin spoke, glaring at me.

He started stretching his body as if my fail attempt to knock him out didn't do anything. Why do I have to be so weak!?

I folded my arms bluntly, glaring back at him, "Of course I'm going to worry! Whether it's a small thing or a huge thing, if it involves someone or something I care about very close to me, I will be worried."

The man looked down at me with an astonished look, vaguely reminding me of the conversation we had back in Kanbalar. This whole this is emitting the same aura the both of us had back then. Without saying a word, Alvin clicked his tongue and looked away from me with an obvious annoyed look on his face. I don't know why but I find his dishonestly funny. Maybe it's because I can relate to that more than anyone here.

"Ha, I win!" I triumphantly declared, sticking my tongue out at Alvin. My eyes then caught sight of Milla staring at me curiously with her own magenta eyes once again. The moment the blonde spirit realized I had caught her, she narrowed them before slowly turning away to look forward with a stoic facial expression.

Again, I looked down with a depressed frown and narrowed my eyes at the ground. I don't even want to know what Milla could be thinking at this point. It could be anything really if she is observing me so carefully. Trees with sparkling lights started appearing in our sights for the realization they are similar to the ones in Fennmont set in. We are nearing in to our destination, and my real adventure starts here. I gapped my mouth in utter awe and astonishment at every passing lit tree as it was a beautiful Christmas tree without the decorations and ornaments. The entrance slowly came into our sight, and eventually, we entered the city of lights without a single trouble approaching us. I froze upon the view of the city, unknowing how to describe this dazzling place. However, seeing guard officials running amok and citizens standing around in confusion, my good feelings faded immediately to fear. I lifted my hand to lightly cover my mouth from distraught, already sensing the feelings of everyone around me.

"What's going on?" Jude asked in confusion as I proceeded to look around for any signs of suspicious activity. That is until my eyes caught sight of smoke rising in the far distance. Realizing the direction of that from my current location, my eyes grew large.

"Hey, look!" Leia called out, pointing at the smoke as she successfully gotten everyone's attention.

"Isn't that -" Milla started saying as Jude finished the sentence for her to confirm that it is indeed the place I had in mind. That general area, if I remember correctly from the game, is where the lab is from the beginning of the game.

"The Lance of Kresnik is in there. Let's go!" The blonde spirit exclaimed in all seriousness as my gray eyes remained on the smoke intently. Why are you making me have a really bad gut feeling, smoke? This whole situation is giving me goosebumps!

Running as fast as I can while following the others to our next destination, my eyes focused on the path we are on. I didn't get any chance to observe my surroundings of being in a new town in person. Fennmont is really one of the few towns in this game I've been looking forward to in a while. Despite the fact that even the guards were distracted by our presence, I was kind of surprised when they weren't doing anything to stop us. All they did was glare at our general direction, and that's basically it. I decided to not dwell on it much longer for I can see the lab coming into our sights. We passed Jude's school and everything else that I remembered from the game. The only thing that's new is how cold this place really is because of the water and the draft from it. I would love to live in a city like this. It's unfortunate that whatever is going on here, the place is very distraught because of it.

"What the heck happened?" I gasped at the sight of people lying around in front of the entrance.

We separated to check on the other wounded guards as I stayed with Jude approaching a soldier. The medical student kneeled down on one leg before asking them if he was okay. I silently stood behind him, watching with concern in my gray eyes as my hand once again almost covered my mouth. Jude then took off the guard's helmet, revealing the identity to us of the victim.

"Mr. Eldin?"

Wait, isn't he the one who was trying to arrest Jude in the beginning of the game? I gasped softly in this realization that I might be right.

"Doc..Doctor Jude?" The soldier started speaking, but the medical student was calm and collected at the moment.

"Lie still. You're hurt pretty badly."

"Listen to me, Doc." The man said with a groan, "She tricked us. One of the researchers was actually an Auj Oule spy."

I lowered my hand as he continued speaking, "When I tried to arrest her, she blew up the whole testing chamber."

Watching as a citizen come walking to his side to help him up, my eyes widened at the thought of a possible suspect. My head then perked up to look at the lab ahead of us and murmured a name that I believe is the one who attacked these people.

"Agria…"

It has to be her. Who else would blow things up with that destructive fire power of hers? I don't recall any other bad guys that would do that. And besides, she was here in the very beginning. Witnessing Jude standing and turning around to give me eye contact for a moment, I took a step to the side shyly and glanced away with a thoughtful look. A frown was kept on my face.

"It sounds like Gaius is making his move." The medical student said his piece of thought to us,

"We can't waste any more time." Milla responded with a hand on her hip.

I nodded my head in agreement, "Let's hurry inside. Maybe we'll find the person who did this."

It's not that I don't want to destroy the Lance of Kresnik for Milla's sake, but right now, there is so much that is going on obviously. Everything about this is giving me a very…bad feeling.

* * *

 **A/N: Again, I hope that the characters aren't too OOC and hope you enjoy it. I most likely won't have the next chapter up in a few weeks, but I will try my best. I'll see you guys next year (Haha) and I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! Also, have a happy new year!**

 **Next Chapter: _I Carry An Incessant Loneliness_**

 **Please review/favorite/follow. I really realllyyyy appreciate it!**


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N: WHAT'S UP!? Yeah, I know. It's been like three months and a week or two. A lot of things have happened in my plate. Sorry for the disappearance. Soooo, here I am, deciding to surprise you all with a chapter! Same thing applies here..Sorry if the characters seem OOC. I did a little gamble I have been thinking for a while. To those who reviewed/followed/favorited during my disappearance, I want to say thank you again for giving me hope that this story wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be in my mind. About the editing: I understand I do silly mistakes here and there. Then again, everyone does. I unfortunately do not have an editor, so I try my best to remind myself to read through the chapters usually the day after I post it up. I get too excited to share my chapters when I'm done haha. But, I guess I am doing a horrible job at that.**

 **Andddd I think that's what I wanted to mention...I think.**

 **So as always, hope you guys enjoy this chapter and my comeback!~**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything Tales of Xillia, but my poor little baby Mia and her brothers. She's already gone through enough, mang.**

 **:)**

* * *

 _ **XV**_

 _ **I Carry An Incessant Loneliness**_

Anxiety…Fear…Confusion..Worry…

Not a single ray of hope remained in my heart when we walked in the laboratory. The giant building is awfully cold to the point a chill would send down in my spine once in a while. My body begin shivering with every step down the hall I recognized from the beginning of the game. The horrible gut feeling is still there, overwhelming me with its negativity and everything bad about it. I did my best to overcome it by calmly walking alongside the others and having my mouth completely shut. The first thing I noticed were the other people idling around here. It seems like officials are tending those who are wounded from the incident earlier. The smell of the fire may have faded, but the scent of it still lingers in my mind. It's so disgusting! Like someone had failed to make a fire miserably. I am positive that the one responsible has to be Agria.

"I wonder where the Lance of Kresnik could be…" pondered Jude, moving his head around while observing our surroundings.

I assumed the layout from the last time he was here is different than what he remembered. Milla answered shortly, confirming my assumption that she had already knew from her last visit to be correct. My memory failed me. Too many things had happened in my world and this world. At the moment, everyone is following the blonde spirit while I stay silent to collect my thoughts. For once, I have no idea where to begin looking or what I should do to help. When I think about it, even if I do know and point them to the right direction, they will eventually suspect me more as suspicious than they probably do after my mistakes. I really can't afford that, but still…I am here for a reason. Normally, I walk behind the group or the middle. It wasn't the case this time – I am walking along with Jude and Milla near the front since the duo practically has experience being in the place. My eyes briefly shifted to the side a certain mercenary was located as something came to mind. Not to mention, Alvin was here too in the beginning, despite him concealing himself from the medical student and the spirit. Technically, I do have experience being here _spiritually_ in some sense than physically. Being the one holding the controller does wonders~

With a light inaudible sigh escaping my mouth, I lowered my head down with my eyes returning to stare at the ground. This really does suck. This must be how _any_ video game character must feel. Not knowing what is going on or what to do, I would be impatient and raring for answers. I then heard distant voices calling out my name from behind me, making me wince myself back to reality. I stopped to a complete halt, and then immediately noticed that no one else was around me. Slowly turning my body around, my weary gray eyes gleamed at them with confusion. Oh, they must have stopped without me knowing a couple feet behind me. Wonderful. On their faces, I could see the light confusion and possibly worry in them. The lighting in the building is a bit dim, so I can't really tell. All I can see is a Milla sternly glaring at me with those stinging magenta eyes of hers with her hand bluntly resting on her hip. From hind insight…I dare say that I believe they must have been trying to get my attention. I found myself standing close to the left turn where the narrow stairs leading up can be seen. I looked away for a moment, debating what to say.

Another lie again. I forced a smile and begin walking towards the others with a hand rubbing the back of my head, "Sorry! I-I kind of dozed off…"

 _How long can I keep this up?_

I could hear the tone in my voice softer than usual. This isn't good. I frowned upon realizing this, stopping my advance.

"What's wrong, kid? It's not like you to sound so uncertain." My eyes widened at the sound of Alvin's voice. I peered straight at him, watching him unfold the arms crossing on his chest before walking pass between the stoic Milla and the worried Jude. My whole body grew stiff from the rather intimidating Exodus member, bracing myself for what's to come. This is new…yet scary. Alvin, the one the party deemed as a big fat liar, is about to confront me?

"I-I'm just…scared is all." I meekly answered, averting my attention away from the brunet. Feeling my right hand start to tremble, I hesitantly grabbed it with my other roughly. I then held them up on my chest.

"Scared of everyone finding you out?"

"Wha..?" All eyes fell on the mercenary as I muttered in utter shock and disbelief. That freakin' traitor! The man stopped in front of me, arms length.

"Kid, I think it's time to 'fess up."

No words came out of my mouth. I didn't expect this at all! I lightly started panting in exasperation, now glaring at the traitor in front of me. He remained calm, continuing to give me this deadly stare.

"What..What are you..?" I begin speaking lowly before shaking my head vigorously, "This isn't the time for this! We have to find Agria and…!"

Another mistake. I gasped loudly before immediately covering my mouth with my hands. Alvin stepped to the side, revealing the reactions of the others to me. My eyes opened, horrified for I already knew that I set myself up in this disadvantage I call wavering emotions. I took a step back to the side, facing away from them as tears begin welling up in the corner of my eyes. May Maxwell, whoever they are, damn you to the fiery pit of…

"Agria? Who is this person?" Milla questioned, folding her arms. She has that thinking look on her face, probably trying to recollect who she is from her memories.

"She…She must be the one who did this to those people.." I answered very softly, yet loud enough for the others to hear. I'm too frightened to look at everyone.

That's right. The party doesn't know her name yet, but I do. I remembered hearing or reading it from somewhere back in my world. I admit, I may have cheated and looked up names back home. I'm not ashamed! It was one of those moments where the voices sound really familiar, and I HAD to look up to see where I have heard it from. I totally wasn't looking up walkthroughs or anything! Okay, maybe a bit. I know everyone does it once in a while.

I digress.

"And there's another thing…You knew about Elize even when you weren't there."

I perked my head up, now glaring at Alvin in disbelief, "This again?! Alvin please, this isn't…!"

"I…actually would like to know that myself." Jude's voice peeked my attention as I finally whipped my head towards his direction to see his brows furrowing in suspicion towards me.

"Jude…Not you too…"

Astonished by this sudden turn of events, I was overcome with speechlessness. The one person I would have thought to be on my side is suddenly seeming like he is against me. The betrayal is too real. Back at the throne room, he must have thought this all along. This alone made me feel really hurt, but I guess it doesn't hurt me much because it really was a given. Even I was prepared for this, but not now. Now really wasn't the time. It seems like everyone is eagerly waiting for an answer before I dig myself further in this hole.

"What are you hiding from us that's making you this way, Asaya?" Leia then asked with concern written all over her. I could see it in her emerald eyes. When I glanced at Elize and her doll, they have the same facial expression as the staff wielder.

"I suggest you surrender and tell the truth." Milla's eyes locked with my frightened ones as if she was trying to give me the hint about our conversation in Sharilton.

Everyone here deserves to know, but again, I don't want to add into their worries. I cursed silently to myself, now allowing the tears to fall down my cheeks. They all are making this difficult for me because I don't want to be the villain here. I don't want to continue lying to them to save them and myself. Maybe I had stopped trying to keep it all in after finding out the truth from Milla that she knew about my dilemma all along.

I can't hold it in much longer.

It's hard to smile at a time like this.

How can Milla and everyone else stay strong?

Coming to a decision after a moment of silence, I eased my shoulders and raised my hands up slowly in front of me. I finally looked up at the group and gave a somewhat bittersweet smile, "You win. I surrender. I'll tell the truth."

Alvin grinned at my answer, taking a step towards me to hook his arm around my neck. It almost was like a one armed hug. I quickly glared at him, narrowing my eyes in disgust. The tears had stopped falling.

"Don't worry, I'll keep our promise about keeping your real name a secret."

I pursed my lips, almost feeling grateful and relieved to hear those words from the man's mouth. My hatred for the guy slowly fell once again, much to my own confusion. This is exactly what I meant by I don't get him. I end up not liking him, and the next, my respect for him replenishes whatever was lost. It's so annoying! If it wasn't for Milla stopping me from shoving the mercenary away by announcing hurriedly to press on our search and reminding me to explain to the others, I probably would have hurt Alvin in any way possible. I don't know whether or not to say thank you or not as a response, but for now, I remained silent. Who knows he could be saying that to put me more at ease and lower my guard for later events. Our little hug broke, and we continued on our search with the spirit leading the group. Waiting for the others to catch up to me, I walked alongside them while being stationed in the middle. Sniffling, I wiped the tears from my eyes with my arm and begin explaining.

"Alright…Well…" I took a deep breath to calm myself down, "I lied about my amnesia. I remember everything about my past. The reason I lied is because I didn't know what to say or do when I came to this world. I'm not from Rieze Maxia…Where I'm from we don't have lilium orbs or mana lobes or fancy artes. I was granted these powers by someone I'm currently trying to find."

I briefly glanced at the back of a certain spirit before sighing heavily, "Everything you all went through up to this point, I was already aware of. I knew what had happened back at…Hamil with Elize."

My eyes lowered to the young mage, taking a risky look to see her reaction. She didn't seem to be too angry, but rather surprised by my words. Everyone present remained silent, but the atmosphere in the air told me that they must be too shocked to say anything. I gave that as an example in case they start to not believe me. I rather have them believe since I have finally decided to share my secret. It would be pointless if they didn't.

"I knew the rock that was going to fall on Leia in Xian Du was meant for Milla. I already know about Fennmont even before you all told me."

"Whoa…This is not easy to take in." Leia commented as the poor girl seems to be trying her hardest to process the things I was saying.

"While I know what happened, I don't know what to expect now because this place is where I stopped before I got sucked in."

Rowen stroke his beard, peering down at me in thought, "And how long have you been in this world?"

I nervously glanced at him with my gray eyes narrowing in sadness, "Since the day we fought whatever the hell that boar thing was in the highlands. I don't know if it was coincidence or not that I would appear before you guys. It surprised me even."

The old man laughed, "That would explain your lack of fighting experience."

"You're not going to let that go, aren't you..?" I deadpanned with a blank look on my face, now seeing a smile on the conductor's face. Realizing that I may be right, a heavy sigh of defeat released from my mouth. Leave it to this group to lighten up things when we are in a dire situation.

"So…You are able to see the future in a some sense?"

I smiled nervously at Jude's interpretation to my explanation, "Sorta, in a way…"

I'd rather have them think of it like that than anything else. Telling a video game character that they are not real and just someone from a story would make me feel very guilty. These people are real to me right now, and I would hate to have them start questioning their existence. Then again, who am I to even wonder what is real or not since my brothers kept constantly butcher that idea in my head?

I'm very surprised though. They are all taking this incredibly well, and not what I imagined. I bet they are a bit hurting mentally just like how I was when I first realized that I'm in this world, fighting monsters and doing things I never thought I would do.

…Like killing people.

"Ah…"

Thinking of the next thing I planned on revealing, my smile faded to a deep frown as my gray eyes narrowed to the ground.

"The thing is…Whenever I interfere with what is supposed to happen, I…I…" I felt scared all of a sudden. It was like the words from my mouth reminded me of the consequence for telling them the truth. I started shuddering in fear, "I see my brothers…My little brothers…"

I stopped walking, causing the others to follow suit with obvious worry. They must be wondering why I suddenly feel solemn. "I don't know if my mind is playing tricks on me, but all they talk about is how I betray them or I died or…Basically…Making me rethink what I'm going through is real or not."

My mouth started wavering as I spouted out these words rapidly every single one. Again, I suddenly feel hyperventilating at the thought of my brothers and the result of my action of saying the truth. My voice grew louder with every second, "It's like I'm being punished for doing things I thought was right. Right now, I don't know if I should be telling the truth! But..I sure as hell I don't want to lie to you guys anymore!"

I covered my face with my hands, experiencing these mixed feelings dwell with me. Relief because after explaining to them what I'm going though seriously lifted a huge weight on my shoulders. Guilty for allowing my emotions get the better of me during my time of redeeming myself. Worried because I don't want them to think badly of me after lying to them countless times for the sake of my being. And finally, afraid because I know something is going to happen after this pretty soon. A pat on my shoulder was then felt, causing me to lower my hands to see the one getting my attention. A smiling Jude came to my sight as the others (except Alvin and Milla) behind him also smiled to reassure me. Milla continued to look stoic as ever, yet her magenta eyes locked on me with curiosity.

"Hey, don't worry about it. We believe you."

"Thank you…"

 _Is it okay, I wonder? For me to say the truth?_

"I hate to interrupt, but we must move on to search for the Lance of Kresnik." Milla spoke before walking towards a double sided glass door.

Jude nodded his head, lifting his hand from my shoulder before following after the blonde spirit. We then heard Leia speak, "I'm still trying to wrap my head around what Asaya said. Like, where are you from exactly then?"

The poor girl is still trying to register these things in her mind. I can't really blame her. It's a lot to take in. I chuckled softly, "I'll explain later. We need to find the Lance of Kresnik."

I saw a glimpse on the look of Alvin's face earlier after I shamelessly covered myself from the others. He has a deep serious pondering look as if he had realized something after hearing my words. I still don't understand how the others are taking my confession so light-heartedly. For someone a year younger than me, Jude is taking a mature approach about this. That was then I remembered something important between us. We had a talk about home that night in Xian Du after I had accidentally killed that Exodus member back in Labari Hollow. I shuddered at the thought, still feeling down every time I think about it. Maybe Jude already pieced that with now together…I really hope he did.

The rest of us followed the spirit through the glass double door, revealing another area that I can't seem to recall in my memories. I sunk into utter relief from all the negative emotions. I stayed near the front, looking around to see if I can at least try to help somehow. I don't remember. The only thing I caught was a certain young mage looking up at me once in a while, probably trying her hardest not to get caught or anything. It's obvious though…As much as I wanted to talk to her about what was on her mind, my attention was diverted to another when we all stopped in front of what looked like a large metal door with faded symbols all over it. Maybe it's Japanese…? I don't know. It seems to be blocking a path to where I assume the Lance of Kresnik is.

"Now what? Doesn't sound like knocking will get us in." Alvin commented with a hand on his hip, staring up at the large door expectantly.

I rolled my eyes, "Maybe you should use your giant sword to knock it down."

Clank! The sound of metal hitting metal repeatedly against each other made the most of us jump. In front of our startled selves, we witness a Milla calmly yet desperately using her sword to attempt to cut through the sturdy gate. Lifting my hands towards the spirit's direction, a somewhat guilty look appeared on my face towards her.

"M-Milla…I don't mean you…"

"The Lance of Kresnik is just beyond this door!" I flinched at the loud tone of her voice.

She is really wanting to get that Lance of Kresnik, but it's understandable. In a way, this is her mission and will do whatever it takes to fulfill it. It's admirable in my opinion, that trait of hers, but too dangerous. That's really just me. My eyes remained in contact with the spirit, watching a calm Jude take a couple steps closer to the woman.

"There's got to be another way in. Let's look for it."

Lifting my finger around my bottom lip, I lowered my head down in thought while narrowing my eyes at the ground beside me. The question I should be asking since everyone is probably thinking the same is well….Where should we start? The group is as clueless as I am right now. I could feel it in the air – It's suffocating. A thought of a place appeared in my mind for it was the one area I remembered from playing the game back home.

"Do you have an idea, Asaya?" Milla spoke expectantly, making me immediately turn my head towards her with determination written all over my face.

Before I explain my answer, I proceeded to look at my side and saw a fleet of stairs leading to the higher ground. That confirmed my assumption that we were near the place Jude found his professor! Great! I know where we are. I went back to my thinking pose, absentmindedly staring at the bare ground before me.

"I think I do." I then calmly glanced at the duo for a brief moment, "Let's try checking upstairs."

As expected of the blonde spirit, she nodded her head without questioning my idea. On the contrary, Jude reacted to it with a startled look. I won't be surprised if he just thought of Professor Haus. Also, it's a given in video games. If the path isn't upstairs, it usually is somewhere on a different level. Maybe it could be a hidden wall…Maybe it could be in some hidden passage. I didn't want to bring it up this horrible gut feeling I've been having. It feels like my stomach is going to burst. Because of that, I planted my hand on my stomach as we made our way to the room upstairs. It was the room that I'm pretty sure could give us some answers. Revisiting places are the greatest~!

As always, I grabbed hold of Alvin's coat even when we are running up the stairs. I silently gave a deadly glare towards the mercenary whenever I catch him peeking back at me. It seems he has gotten used to me hanging on to him. Good! I really hate having to repeat myself unnecessarily. Another chill went down my spine the moment the door came to sight. That was then we heard what sounded like a thudding noise from inside the room. My heart leaped at the sound, feeling my hair stand on its ends. Forgetting that I am still gripping on someone's coat, I clenched it tighter than ever and pulled it down by accident from my scare.

"Hey, what the hell?!"

"Dah! Sorry!" I apologetically waved my hands before me towards Alvin after he had pulled his coat away from my grasp. Geezus, his glare could kill people like me who was stupid enough to do that ON ACCIDENT.

"What was that?" Jude questioned, sounding somewhat alarmed.

I stopped what I was doing to quickly purse my lips after watching the others cautiously approach the sliding door. Alvin soon followed, then I did afterwards so I don't get left behind. It wasn't long until I joined the others who had stopped to look around in utter shock and awe at the contents of the room. Transparent green tubes filled with liquid in each side adorned the room. On the ground, the same liquid can be seen, believing to be connected to whatever that tall cone shaped glass structure is in the far middle end. One can simply assume that someone is extracting one's mana just like back at Fort Gandala when Driselle's brother was taken away. Even knowing that now, it still astonishes me. The sight itself rendered me speechless, marking it unbelievable to see in person. There are still people inside the tubes on the right side. A man floating yet motionlessly in the middle tube and the other two…The other two are somewhat recognizable. Very familiar twins are floating there as well…motionlessly. Again, my heart leaped from shock as I take a step forwards to them. I was stopped by the sudden movement of Jude running ahead for it gained my attention.

Leia, Milla, and I rushed behind to stand near whoever the medical student was helping. My eyes widened in astonishment immediately recognizing the elderly woman…Kind of. She looks rather familiar to me, and whoever she is, it's making my heart sting in pain.

"You okay?" Milla spoke while bending down on a knee beside the medical student. I stood right beside Leia, whose concern can be felt a million miles away.

"I don't know anything. I'm sorry…" The old woman strained with her words, but her voice was enough to have me remember who she is. I quickly took a couple steps forward beside Jude to slump down on my left leg and bearing my body on my bent right leg. The palm of my hands planted closely together in front of my right foot.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I was interrupted by Alvin who was about to bring up the elderly woman's identity. That was then Elize and Teepo came hurriedly to my side as the young mage sat on her knees.

"It's the mayor!"

"Hang in there!"

I can't help, but glance at the child with worry in my gray eyes. I mean, I understand that the mayor of a village that shunned her would have impacted her negatively when she is dying in front of her. But then I remembered that this is Elize…She may or may not like the mayor. I can tell though; she is genuinely concerned.

"The mayor of Hamil?" MIlla repeated in light disbelief, "They did say that the Rashugal army invaded the village."

Looking at the spirit, I listened to her intently for that reminded me of that piece of information. My head whipped to look at the elder in Jude's arms, "Do you at least remember anything? I mean, anything at a-"

I stopped myself after hearing the mayor release a shuddering breath. That alone opened my eyes, horrified mixed with shock.

"All the villagers…" She paused, "Frozen solid!"

 _Frozen solid?_ I thought to myself, pondering what she could mean by that.

"No! No!" The mayor wailed through her dying stupor, making me open my eyes in shock.

I desperately pleaded, "Don't you dare die on us!"

"Hey! Come back to us! Don't give up!" Milla calmly exclaimed after me.

In a moment's time, the mayor soon stopped talking and breathing all the same after gasping out her last agonizing breaths. She disappeared from our sights, and I didn't see how. I had closed my eyes and lowered my head enough for my bangs to shadow my eyes. Elize had cried out for the mayor. This stung my heart badly, hearing the sadness in her voice. I clutched my hand on my chest after leaning back and it wasn't long until my fear of death returned. The churning feeling in my stomach started going crazy. My legs started to become weaker and weaker as I slowly slumped on both of my legs. Deep inside me, I was blaming myself. I know this has to be the consequence I was waiting for to happen to kick me on the butt. This is my fault…

"It's Professor Haus all over again." Jude's voice somehow ceased the god awful feeling, making me look slightly at him to see his pained facial expression. It soon held strong. I was then reminded of our night talk back at Xian Du when he was consoling me.

I had vomited that night after feeling the same way I am right now. Still…The moment of having a peaceful stomach was over, and something else continued the sickening sensation. I then used my free hand to cover my mouth immediately after sensing something coming up from my stomach. I started shivering as I closed my eyes tightly and try to calm myself.

"Hey Asaya, you okay?" I heard Leia ask me with concern. Her footsteps and voice grew closer after sensing her presence right beside me.

"Oh no, it's happening again!" Jude cried out, crouching down beside me now while gently rubbing my back as an attempt to soothe me from my sudden attack. Eventually, Leia tried to do the same by continuously whispering reminders that everything will be okay. I admit, it actually is calming me down too.

Behind us, I could hear Rowen and Alvin conversing about what the mayor had mentioned. Even though I'm currently trying not to throw my guts out, I did my best to keep up with the conversation. I myself also wondered what she meant by frozen solid, and could understand if it is somehow connected to the Great Spirit that Presa was telling us about. I know things will be connected eventually. I mean, the Hamil villagers being here, them being frozen, and even the fact that I temporarily grew weak back at the confrontation with Gaius. It's as if my strength were being drained from it.

The realization and the childhood friends calming me down was enough for me to fully recover from the anxiety attack…panic attack…some medical related attack. My shouldered eased, the shivering completely stopped, and my strength begin to regenerate. After seeing my hand fall on my lap, the two stopped as if they knew that I'm getting better. The brunette beside me stayed at my side, supporting by putting her hands on my shoulders when the three of us stood up.

"Thank you…Sorry for worrying you." I weakly whispered, flashing Leia and Jude a strained smile as I stared at them individually.

"Either way, this is unforgivable." My eyes shifted towards the spirit, watching her pat Elize who was hugging her for comfort.

They then saddened at the sight of the poor girl as I was then reminded of something from earlier. I then moved my head, looking back at the tubes I remembered seeing the two little figures floating. Much to my surprise, they weren't there anymore. Feeling myself fall silent and somewhat disappointed, I tried to recall from a few minutes ago the last time I saw them. I swear, they were there. I swear, those two little figures were my little brothers! I begin hoping my mind isn't playing tricks on me. It's bad enough I am still blaming myself for the mayor's death.

Hearing Jude mutter something under his breath, I flinched and turned to him in bewilderment. I wasn't really too startled, but after just a while ago with the illusion of Cody and Chris in the tubes, it did frighten me. He then looked up to the second level of the room as something seems to click in his mind as well as mine.

"Oh..The computers." I softly spoke, receiving a nod from the medical student. He then ran to the ladder leading to that level as I watched the others follow after him. Everyone, except Leia. She remained at my side. Her hand gently placed on my back as if silently asking me if I'll be okay. Her worries…I can sense it and I could read it on her face. Not wanting for her or anyone to worry about my condition, I started slow and walked towards the ladder.

I looked back at the girl and smiled reassuringly, "Come on."

Her eyes widened as she then nodded her head and smiled back at me. The both of us approached the ladder.

I wonder what exactly could Jude be thinking of doing with those monitors.

* * *

 **A/N: That's the end of it!**

 **Next chapter: _And So I Erase You Once Again_**

 **See you guys in the next chapter! Bai bai~**


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